snickerdoodle

@savannah_grace2009

XD Yeah, I could see that!

And I don’t know why Spring sleeps on an air mattress, lol.

Here ya go!

THE SEASON SISTERS

Spring yawned, and slid off her air mattress. Her older sister Summer was fast asleep.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was 6:29. Just then, a piercing alarm broke through the silence. Summer groaned and rolled over. Spring jumped up and yanked the blind cords. Bright sunlight danced through the room. ” Time…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

GREAT topic XD I don’t have my very first story anymore (it’s probably in storage) but I have one that I wrote when I was… Ten, maybe eleven? That was kind of my first actual novel attempt. It only has like, two chapters. Brb, I’ll go find it to post

@kyronthearcanin

Okay, I’ll think about it! No problem, thank you!

@kyronthearcanin

So, yep! Mostly just because of the curfew. I guess I was trying to show how the villagers were impacted by it, if that makes sense.
That’s true, I might use that word a lot XD. I’ll have to reread it and see where I can change words around to fix that. Thanks for pointing that out!
Yeah, I get that. I’m not really sure how the…[Read more]

@esther-c

Ohh, I see what you mean. I meant the main character isn’t looking at the sky anymore, but yeah, I’ll have to change that. Thank you!

@trailblazer

Thanks! Yeah, I figured it was pretty obvious, lol. I wasn’t really trying to hide it.. I guess I was more concerned with telling the story than surprising the reader. And I’m sure most of us have read other stuff with basically the exact same plot, so it wasn’t exactly surprising anyway.

Got it, I’ll fix that. Thanks!

@savannah_grace2009

Aw, that was so sad! I really liked it though, tag me if you post more.

@grcr

Oohhh, I like it!

@jonas

Yeah, it was mentioned in the dialogue, but I guess it might be easy to miss that.

@rae

Thanks! I fixed the stall part in my document, but it won’t let me edit my post anymore.

@jonas

So, the king has been traveling for a while. He wasn’t aware of the rules put on the people by his regents, who he’d appointed to take care of the country while he was gone.

When I wrote it, I was trying to create sort of an allegory. I know it’s not perfect, but that’s what I was thinking when I came up with it. The king is meant to…[Read more]

@jonas @rae

I added a few sentences that hopefully resolve it a little better? I’m not sure. Do you still think it’s missing something?

… I can’t believe I didn’t see it before—who he was. The suspicion has grown inside of me for weeks, strengthening with each day that passed. When the guards disappeared from the marketplace. When the curfe…

[Read more]

@rae

Alright! XD Thanks, I appreciate it.

@grcr

Got it!

@jonas

Yeah, I knew it was pretty obvious. I’m not sure how else to write it (where it’s not obvious) in such a short word count.
So, yeah. As soon as I posted it I was like, oh, I need to add something that talks about how the rules/guards have been changed. Really when I wrote it I was thinking it’d have a few more scenes, but then when I got…[Read more]

@grcr

Ugh, I know, that’s the worst. Maybe try Nameberry? I usually go there for names.

@grcr

I like it! Blair and Blaine are really similar names, though. That might get confusing, unless it’s intentional?