snickerdoodle

@ellette-giselle

I liked the transition right at the scene break before Liesl and Roland got married. And how you showed Leon’s state of mind after the fever and how Julian didn’t understand it.

@ellette-giselle

No, I was just on my phone already and I saw the notification pop up.

Not really… no suggestions really stood out. 🤷‍♀️

@ellette-giselle

Aww. Good section. I’m so glad Leon didn’t die.

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, but if there’s a lot of plants, chances are there’s a lot of animals surviving off of that, which means the wolves shouldn’t be having much trouble finding food.

You could just take out this sentence:

The wolves growled, but they were hungry, and they decided the threat was worth the potential kill. The winter had been…

[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Ok sounds good!

I would, but I’m focusing on writing and not editing for these next few months.

@whalekeeper

That sounds like fun! I’m not exactly sure how busy I’ll be this summer, but I’d love to join in. The next few weeks are going to be kind of crazy though.

@ellette-giselle

Oh no!!! Not Leon!!

Good section. One thing I noticed was that you mentioned that the people were able to find a lot of food during the winter… then you said that it had been hard on everyone, especially the wolves. I get that they eat meat and not plants, but it was kind of confusing.

otherwise, good job! 😬

@theducktator

I know, I’m sorry. 😞 It would have been cool to maybe meet you in person.

@theducktator

Yes, we were able to get a rental in the other state, not Indiana.

@theducktator

Ahh. Yeah, I get what you mean.

I think so. Not totally sure yet, but my mom’s talked to the tutors there, and we’re thinking that we will. I don’t know if Challenge 4 will be as fun as Challenge 3, though. @whalekeeper, what did you think of Ch4?

@theducktator

😝

Remind me again what the prompt was? I can barely remember.

@whalekeeper @ducktator

Nice. Yeah, saying goodbye was sad, but I’m kinda glad it’s over.

@whalekeeper @theducktator

When does y’all’s CCs end? Ours ended yesterday.

@ellette-giselle

Yay!! They finally found shelter!

Good transitioning scenes. I feel bad for the woman and the kids though.

@ellette-giselle

Good section. I don’t have much to say about it. The stakes are rising.

“How are you boys holding up?”

“Fine, but we’re freezing,” Rolf said.

This took me back to that one scene with the soldiers… 😳 I was like, “Oh no.”

@ellette-giselle

I’m not surprised.

Yeah, I hope so. Oh my goodness, yes, Martin was so brave.

@ellette-giselle

Wow. That was rough.

Poor Aelic. 😭

(I’m wondering what’s happening to Aiden now that Martin believed and died too. It would have been tough to see his brother and his cousin killed like that.)

@ellette-giselle

Lolol.

@ellette-giselle

Haha! I like Aelic too, but I really liked how you put us more in Julian’s mind than we normally get to be.

I’m like 95% sure they’re going to survive.

@ellette-giselle

Love this section! You did a great job of bringing in Julian’s character and his thoughts, like when he remembered the burning building. Their last exchange is so funny. XD

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @linus-smallprint

New chapters on the Part 2 doc!