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Here ya go!

THE SEASON SISTERS

Spring yawned, and slid off her air mattress. Her older sister Summer was fast asleep.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was 6:29. Just then, a piercing alarm broke through the silence. Summer groaned and rolled over. Spring jumped up and yanked the blind cords. Bright sunlight danced through the room. ” Time…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

GREAT topic XD I don’t have my very first story anymore (it’s probably in storage) but I have one that I wrote when I was… Ten, maybe eleven? That was kind of my first actual novel attempt. It only has like, two chapters. Brb, I’ll go find it to post

@highscribeofaetherium

*is so confused*

Um…..that is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the century lol I was questioning 13 year old Sara’s sanity when I read this….

I’m glad you changed directions with your novel lol.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm YESSS. I actually thought this junk could get published!!!

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED PLOTTING! OR ELSE YOUR WRITING WILL END U…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yeah….but the problem is that i’ll have to have implants when I turn eighteen because those teeth will never grow back…so there will be holes in my mouth for eternity. Fun times!

Okay so a backstory-they are Andromedan, but they were kidnapped when they were little and taken to Earth. In this convulated version of a novel, I had it that all Andromedans had purple hair and yellow eyes. They lived a normal human life, etc.

But on Earth all Andromedans take the form of humans, and then the mc’s lost their memory. Now they…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Because he’s from Earth and they’re not.

I mean I get where I was going…but it is still really, really dumb.

I WANT TO BURN THIS.

“Because,” Liv says. “You are going to use your powers to bring our parents back. Or else.” What powers?

“Or else what?” Jorryn challenges. Oh great. The last thing we need right now is for Jorryn to get cocky.

“Easy there, ‘spitfire’!” Gael mocks.

“It’s gonna be bad,” Liv assures us.

“You don’t know, do you?” Jorryn…

[Read more]

@jonas

I never ever threw my writing away, no matter how bad it was….i have every single horrible story I ever wrote in a huge binder. I remember thinking the stories were good…and I recently read threw it again and wanted to burn it.

Another embarrasing scene for you:

. Jordan grabbed her arm again and yanked her over to him. He handed her…

[Read more]

@rae

oh my gosh….lol I was reading it and I was like, oh it’s really good! and then I read this sentence:

I can’t tell you what Nahim’s face looked like because he never showed it to anyone.

And then I laughed.

sorry if that sounds mean…..

And now for the worst thing I have ever written:

“It worked!” Jorryn cries.…

[Read more]

@trailblazer

idk….two teeth on the bottom in the back. (not wisdom teeth)

I have teeth that are baby teeth, but there aren’t any adult teeth to replace them, so I was just gonna have baby teeth forever. But the dentist thought they were just gonna break apart someday so he pulled them….

@trailblazer

Oh no!! That sounds horrible!!!

4 hours later and I can actually feel my face and talk and eat food!!! YAY!

@jonas

okay! 🙂

@freedomwriter76

Oh I’m so excited for this!! I joined kp after you started the fanfic, so I didn’t get to follow along from the beginning.

@kyronthearcanin

Okay, I’ll think about it! No problem, thank you!

@hybridlore

Yeah, that totally makes sense! And you’re welcome, I really enjoyed reading it!!

For buildup, I’m not quite sure. Maybe Mason has a big decision to make, and something about the king helps him make that decision? Or maybe to keep it more line with what you have so far, something big rests on the identity of the king?? I’d have to…[Read more]

@kyronthearcanin

So, yep! Mostly just because of the curfew. I guess I was trying to show how the villagers were impacted by it, if that makes sense.
That’s true, I might use that word a lot XD. I’ll have to reread it and see where I can change words around to fix that. Thanks for pointing that out!
Yeah, I get that. I’m not really sure how the…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Okay, I’m finally here!! XD

So, I was digging pretty hard to find something to critique, so I’ll do my best…

“A hint of fear is smothered in the master’s gruff tone.” – why the fear?? Just because of the curfew?

I agree that it was pretty obvious the man was going to be the king.

In first person it’s really easy to use “is” a lo…[Read more]

@esther-c

Is it still the plan to have Callie dance with Lukas and Liv dance with Fynn?

@highscribeofaetherium

Oh, okay. Have fun!!