SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨

@savannah_grace2009

Oh good idea! I’ll look some up. Thanks!

@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore @esther-c @whoever-else

There is something really wrong with this scene. I can’t figure it out at all. Help!

“I told you not to go anywhere.” Mandin was half-laughing.

Nahim turned around suddenly, forgetting his helmet rested in the flowers beside him. Mandin froze, a look of shock in his features.

“What is th…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo! Nice board!

@savannah_grace2009

I shall begin reading, but I can’t promise I’ll have tons of time to read all of it now. Thanks for the link!

P. S.

Don’t worry about the number of chapters, I myself have only gotten to about ten on my current draft!

@savannah_grace2009

Shes worried about Hugo!💗 😍 🥹 This was such a good scene you wrote!!

@savannah_grace2009

I like that a lot better! It’s really up to you, though. Rae had some good feedback!

@savannah_grace2009 @esther-c @whoever (I never know who to tag.)

NAHIM

Everyone before had seemed to see him as some scary monster with that sword in his hand, and when he had tried to cut down the door it had gotten worse.

Now he had let his sword dangle limp from its usual place on his belt. He had set his helmet beside himself on the floor,…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I must be as blind as a bat!

Okay, I just read your revision of that last part and…I am never allowing you to change it. I have not had the same expierances as Sef, but I see myself in her. Sara, you’ve got this.

@savannah_grace2009

I get what you mean by clunky, I often feel like I have the same problem. Thses are the parts I think are the most in need of a little bit…

The air was pleasantly cold, nipping the tip of Sef’s nose as she walked in step with Lilitu. The sound of leaves crunching beneath their feet as they walked gave her a pleasant t…

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@savannah_grace2009

Sure 🙃

@savannah_grace2009

Aw, thanks! I love their friendship, too. I want to set up some more scenarios with the two of them.

@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore

It’s been a bit since I posted more of my story, so here’s the next little bit. It’s a little fragmented and summary-ish in spots, but it’s what I’ve got lol.

As the fall months passed, Bert Hawley began courting Clara. Clara’s mood brightened considerably, and she willingly did household chores and helped in t…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

The only thing I thought of was how quickly it seemed to drop off at the end. Were you planning to continue their conversation after the flashback in that same chapter, or in a different chapter? To me, it sort of felt like their conversation should continue after the flashback. Ending with the flashback felt very abrupt, and…[Read more]

@rae

Sounds good!! I love your style, btw. It’s fresh and unique. 😊

@savannah_grace2009

I don’t think it’s too clunky. There may be a few places where it could be made a little smoother, but I’m not sure how to fix that. 😅 If this is just your first or second draft, then I think it’s definitely fine how it is. 🙂

@highscribeofaetherium @thearcaneaxiom @savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore

New drawings of the swords. ^^^

Also, @savannah_grace2009 I was gonna ask, how does she know that Lilitu dreamed exactly what happened to her before he even describes what happens?

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t really notice it seeming clunky! I like the part where she’s thinking back to playing pretend with her friends, it’s so sweet.

Personally, for the flashback part, I think I would leave it out and give more of like a summary, sort of like:

She knew that this was no ordinary dream. And not just because of his reaction.…

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@savannah_grace2009

Yep! Here’s one I made for my WIP a while ago! Hopefully this doesn’t post twice, lol.