SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨

@savannah_grace2009

Oh my gosh that’s hilarious

I should try that! Though my school doesn’t have “crowds”, we’re too small for that, lol. (There’s 120 kids in the whole school, K-12)

Our group isn’t too big either. It’s actually a homeschool group, with about 100 kids… I think?

Yeah… If I’m being perfectly honest, sometimes I casually ai…[Read more]

So many people to reply to oh goodness. (: I shall try my best to remember it all.

I asked about the role plays because I don’t really know how common they are. In YWW they have a time each month called Story Day that’s usually 2-3 days where students can RP to their heart’s content for a few days straight. It’s absolute chaos. I was in one…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Yw!!

@savannah_grace2009

Oooh! I like the style of it. Its kind of sad/happy/hopeful 🙂

@savannah_grace2009 @esther-c

I love them!!

@everyone

Heres Hugos!

@savannah_grace2009

I love it!! It looks great!

@savannah_grace2009

Yessss!

Oooh, that looks awesome!

@EVERYONE

Here’s Amir’s!

@savannah_grace2009 @mineralizedwritings @acancello @esther-c @grcr @freedomwriter76

Kari

Kari was surprised to see Ottoline when she opened the door, and even more surprised when Ottoline asked if Kari could do her hair and makeup. But Ottoline seemed timid now, and her bow and arrow were nowhere in sight, so Kari opened the door wider.

“Sure,…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I had a teacher who used to pretend he was a cat…. Sometimes I questioned his sanity lol. I think he should’ve been teaching kindergarten instead of high school.

@savannah_grace2009

I have a cousin that’s older than me, and he once read my work and said “I bet I could write a book, it can’t be that hard!” I was appalled. How dare he, haha. We started working together on a dystopia. We got 7 pages in, and he told me that he found it boring and had better things to do! Easy, huh?

You really have to stick w…

[Read more]

@rainmaker

congratulations on your black belt.

I’m not quite there yet, but thanks!

At least for my sci fi world, my technology isn’t too complicated but for my fantasy one, I’m thinking about including a soft magic system. I’m not sure how I’m going to approach it yet but I think it would be fun to come up with.

Cool! I’m very much of a hard ma…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks, I never knew how hard writing can be! It’s a rollercoaster…sometimes you get depressed because you can’t figure out one sentence and then you get excited because you wrote something “good”. Writing is hard….but it’s a good challenge!

That’s very true! It’s a skill that takes a lot of time to develop, taking in a l…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Well, Sef wasn’t at her house when Neveah and Hanna were kidnapped. They were leaving the slums, and were walking down the path. It was a whole “group” thing, if that makes sense.

Oh. I guess I missed that. I really need to read more carefully lol!

@savannah_grace2009

I love that explanation, lol.

Okay, I’ll work on it! This critique has been so helpful! And no, it doesn’t feel too harsh. Thank you for being honest about what I need to fix. Also, I know I need to make this clearer (I don’t explain it in the story at all, just my thought process when I wrote this) but Sef and Lilitu had p…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009
Oh okay. It probably was mentioned, but it’s been a while since I read that part. Why was he at Sef’s house? Did he know that Neveah and Hanna were being kidnapped?

@savannah_grace2009

Don’t worry-I replaced it with a brand new chapter with Ottoline’s POV instead, which is posted somewhere in this thread (you don’t have to read it, but it’s here somewhere if you want to).

I think I did see that actually, I just didn’t know where it fit in.

The revised Sef chapter definitely helps bridge the gap. One questio…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Okay, now I understand the plot so far. I agree with @thearcaneaxiom that this chapter feels like a jump. One thing to consider might be to actually not show what happens to Neveah until later in the story, instead of following her. That way you could linearly follow Sef and Lillitu up through this chapter. Cutting to Neveah…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ok, I finished it, and it did mention that they were older, so it’s clear that a lot has changed, but this is still a similar issue with the one I posed earlier. We might be starting to follow the same characters now, but your darting around there own stories too much. The last we saw of Lilitu was the boy limping home, then…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Haha! Really? I have friends who used to do that, I think it lasted for a couple of years, 😀 My brother is 13, and is the typical 13 year old (gross jokes and humor, things like that XD ) When he was 7 I think he was just obsessed with Legos, but I dont quite remember 🙂

@savannah_grace2009

Girl I legit started laughing!!!

Haha! I’m glad! Hugo is so funny, (I based him off my brother so I have plenty of ideas, lol!)