Andrew

@linus-smallprint oh, good to know I’m not alone then! It’s not discouraging at all, it’s just one of those thoughts you have when you’re trying to sleep but your brain won’t let you. Y’know.

And I’m glad you have an explanation ready for why this section feels rushed. Makes sense.

and bruh that Canada meme! We have somethin’ like that…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

So, I think I can safely say which scenes you have added in and which ones were in the draft. I’ve run into this same problem several times. If my book is more then a year old when I do the re-writes and big edits, you can always tell what I wrote before and what is added. I think our style and skill develops the more we write,…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

 This is one of the best ones yet!!

Huh. You often supprise me with the scenes that you think are the best.

I’m curious, did you write this from scratch, or was it in the draft?

In my first draft, I was unsure if I wanted to send Alan to save The Faithful after he joined them. Event happened differently there. Alan found out ab…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Oh. You are not the first I’ve heard to say that, but I don’t mind that you don’t agree. Sabina does voice my own beliefs however, so I won’t be changing this.

I would be interested in your reasons behind why you don’t agree with her/my reasoning. Though keep in mind I won’t be changing this scene, so if you find it a waste of…[Read more]

@keilah-h

 It does seem a tiny bit sudden, but I don’t know cause I’ve never actually seen a person get saved and them follow their life immediately afterward. 

Alan does feel a little bit rushed to get back to planning since other people are in danger. He also felt the need to apologize to Rour, and had to go through Stripe to get to him.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I was a little distratded during this chapter because I do disagree with you on weather or not it is okay for Christians to lie to protect others. However, I don’t really have a response to the arguments that Sabina gives and I belive this to be a tercarary issue, so unless you want to discus this, I’m willing to leave it…[Read more]

@rae

Don’t look at me.

My guys are just normal people with some military training.

@whalekeeper @grcr @raxforge @loopylin @jonas

Leon and Julian —Group 1, Elderstrand edge

Julian looked up and his eyes widened. He yanked Leon back. “Look out!”

Leon spun, gripping his sword tightly. His eyes and mouth opened in shock. “What are t…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

This is one of the best ones yet!!

I’m curious, did you write this from scratch, or was it in the draft?

This was super well done, and I like everything about it. (though i did see a typo here and there.)

Very well done.

@grcr you’re welcome 😁

@linus-smallprint ooh interesting!!

Alan’s character development is showing through! It does seem a tiny bit sudden, but I don’t know cause I’ve never actually seen a person get saved and them follow their life immediately afterward. I was saved when I was really young and effectively don’t even remember it, so I can’t even use myself as an…[Read more]

@jonas YES!

@whalekeeper @ellette-giselle @grcr @raxforge @loopylin

Baron (Brutus)—Group 1, Elderstrand edge

Brutus sighed, before coughing once more. After which, he harnessed the wind once again, throwing the strong wind at the foremost figure, trying to knock it over. But nothing appeared to happen to the things. Brutus gave a cry,…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Yes, it’s the Iliad and the Odyssey as a musicale and it was SO WELL done!

oooo, next chapter! Yay!

@ellette-giselle

Troy was a big hint. I also some some other things from it that poped up in my feed that contained some greek mythology gods/creatures, so I thought that might be the case

@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow

Next chapter! This scene was a little fun to write as it uses a new location that did not exist within my first draft.

The last bit of character I want Alan to develop may now be more apparent, Keliah.

Chapter the 24th – The Plan

@the_lost-journal

So thats a semi yes!? Yay! Ok I have a creature idea for the Deewater! It is a serpent like creature, it stalks under boats and attacks when least expected. since I imagine the waters are “deep” (crazy right!) I imagine it lives deep in the waters, so little is known about it. And it rarely comes up. But when it does it att…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

BOTH!

hey, how did you know?

@ellette-giselle

Is the musical based off of the Iliad or Odessy?

@whalekeeper

I mean, they’re technically just NPCs, so yes, (though I would recommend using them sparingly.) In this case, I happen to agree with @rae‘s assessment and will be deploying them anyway, lol.

@whalekeeper @rae @raxforge @loopylin @hybridlore @grcr @ellette-giselle

Ellis — Elderstrand (Group 1)

Within a few seconds, the fight was…[Read more]

@grcr very cool, and I like his name!

dun dun dun!