Ruth

@theshadow

just showing more of the city or government, to get a feel of how much the world has changed. Something like that, maybe. Maybe you could have Sara or Cole go to a different area,

Okay! I could always try to integrate that into scenes while they’re traveling (to the church meetings, to their jobs).

Ah, okay. That’s fine if your sti…

[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

correct, the priest isn’t forgiving the sins. It is God.

*is confused* If you know it’s God forgiving the sins, then why do you guys go to confession to a priest at all? Why not just ask God?

I’m sorry if that sounded rude…I don’t mean it that way, I’m just very confused and trying to understand.

And about mega churches, my c…[Read more]

@esther-c

I’m so sorry, I forgot about this!!!!

I think it’s a new day, so where do you want to continue? XD

@esther-c

are you looking for critiques? Or just posting for fun?

I just wanted to make sure…I don’t want to assume you want critiques if you’re just wanting to share it with us! 🙃

Saraaaa… 🥹 Girl you’re so sweet.

I’M SERIOUS…I LOVE IT SO MUCH

@esther-c

That’s so funny…My sister Hallie’s nickname is Hal…we call her that all the time XDXD

When she was little we used to call her HalPal…we don’t really use that anymore but I laugh remembering that, it was pretty cute hahaha

Yussss, it’s working againnnn

Wyoh was being mean to me. : (

@theducktator

How many siblings do you have? I have five, and this is quite accurate. XD

I only have three, but I’ve been around big families and have been in houses with lots of children running around. XD I’m glad I’ve succeeded 😂

Ours is named Fluffy the Beast. XD

No way, that’s…[Read more]

Bruh…

Ok we’re gonna try this again.

@theducktator @savannah_grace2009 @keilah-h @theshadow @grcr @smiley

Chapter 4

“I haven’t seen Antonio all day… He must not be a sophomore.” Hallie stood on her tiptoes, peering over the heads of the students who roamed the cafeteria.

“You trippin’? I thought you didn’t care that much.” Jennifer pl…[Read more]

Is this workingggg

@savannah_grace2009

Saraaaa… 🥹 Girl you’re so sweet. ❤️

@hybridlore

Ok awesome!! Thanks!

@koshka

Rory

Rory jumped. “What? Nothing!” He stood stock still and drew in a slow breath. It’s alright. Leo wont hit me because I ask a question.

Rory ran the tip of his tongue along his lower lip. “I was wondering if we were supposed to get off there or if we were going somewhere else.” He shifted uneasily and made a motion to the elevator.…[Read more]

@rae

you and your messed up warriors!
😆

@linus-smallprint

Overarching Theme. […] What are your thoughts?

This looks good. I’ll note, I feel a bit of a blur between books. (You’re still in the outlining phase so that’s fine.) It’s great that you have his story divided into three areas of growth, but because they’re very similar when it comes to the actions Alan has to take, you need…[Read more]

@loopylin

Yep, it’s good. :]

@rae Hehehe Alpha has more knives than social skills

Dante

“Oi…” Dante growled. He straightened his posture and crossed his arms. “I might be smaller than you, but I’m tougher than I look. Survived this long. And I don’t have some stupid needle phobia.”

@ellette-giselle

Leo

Level 0. This place had a funny floor plan. He punched the button and leaned back against the wall as the elevator began its decent.

Rory was giving him a weird, confused look. What had he said? Done? Leo lifted an eyebrow. “Yes? What is it?”

@esther-c

Within the next hour, everyone rushed around the house, trying to get ready for church and still be able to leave on time. This included a couple pairs of shoes being thrown down the stairs, someone looking for their shoes, people telling whoever was getting ready in the bathroom to hurry up, and a sister frantically searching her…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

Okay, I see what you mean. Are you thinking like, within their friend groups? Most of the story so far takes place either at school, the church meetings, or their house. Later, though, there will probably be a lot of scenes at their respective job assignments, so you’ll get to see more of the culture then. Do you have any ideas for s…

[Read more]

@koshka

Rory

“Bolts and screws, bolts and screws.” Rory muttered slowly. For the amount of things they taught in Academy, there was very little about normal life. Mostly about killing and the most effective ways to do it. Rory racked his brain. The two words were familiar, but he couldn’t remember having encountered the things they repre…[Read more]

@rae

🫢

I can not believe he just said that to Dante