Ruth

@esther-c

Liking the story so far, it’s good. I second Trailblazer’s suggestions though, as more description would draw the reader in more.

@godlyfantasy12

Well done! I appreciate how you wrote that in a way that a younger audience wouldn’t understand his implications, yet you didn’t shy away from the point. And oh, Ara.

She should have told him. But that’s not an easy thing to say.

And November. Dear, loving November.

I hope this Uncle beats the snot from that kid in one way or…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

No need to apologize. You are doing this for us, and you can take as long as you wish!

😊💛

@ellette-giselle I can get behind having a gun and a shield inside the pulpit. He’s well prepared.

I don’t think my church has ever had a shooting in our area, but we still have people guarding around. I work in the pre-k Sunday school, and sometimes, if the weather’s nice, we take the kids over to the playground we have just outside the…[Read more]

@theducktator

100%

Go look at Alcatraz if anyone disagrees with that statement,

@hybridlore

Lolol. you seemed pretty convinced…… 😂

Well, the overseers are cruel and they picked Ian as their target. They want him to live in the absolute terror that he could slip up any moment and that would be the end. It’s a terror that drives him crazy. He already had that rebellious spark and a sort of fire about him to begin with,…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Oh my gosh. That’s dreadful. I’ll be praying.

@godlyfantasy12 wow!

so Ara’s family is all in high positions? Her parents are the rulers, her uncle is called a “prophet” so I’m guessing that means he’s their advisor?

@koshka

Rory

Rory let out a slow breath. He even gave Leo a slight smile as they road up the elevator. He was still turning the older boy’s words over in his mind. It didn’t make much sense. After all, they said that fear was weakness and that’s why they were punishing him and the others. Rory chewed on his lip and then quickly stopped,…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Yay!

(I kind of want to tag some people who haven’t read book one yet to see how well I can provide context in book II, but maybe I will wait for a later draft for that. what do you think?)

One of my pet peeves is when authors provide tons of context about book I in book II. If you start at the middle book in a series, then y…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12 oh, cool! Those are really pretty colors you’ve picked, too.

so one of them dies canonically? Or you’re just saying if one dies the crystal goes dull? Will someone else get it, or will it just never be usable again cause its owner is gone forever? (Unless he or she has a way of coming back.)

@linus-smallprint

Yeah. I didn’t think it was realistic for her to be able to keep disappearing without her family knowing.

@linus-smallprint lol

I see the prologue (btw I love how it’s called “The Chapter Before”) already has a title!

@linus-smallprint Probably a good idea to wait till a later draft.

Can’t wait to see what’s in store for Alan and the group!

@ellette-giselle

Leon!!! I didn’t think you would kill him!!

I didn’t feel like the overseers punishing Leon instead of Ian was unrealistic. However, I’m starting to wonder what Ian did to deserve it. I know they’d had their eyes on him, but all he did was trip, right?

Julian’s scene was good too. I liked how it started raining and they were…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle So Leon’s life was spared! I’m interested to see where this is going, then.

And Julian’s fire incident was a sad thing, but it’s true that such a thing happens. Even here in America we have the occasional church shootout or similar incident. Haven’t heard of church arson much (here in the US anyway) but it’s entirely possible.

@the_lost-journal I’ll be praying too. It’s just horrible that such a thing happened.

@theshadow

Awesome, thanks!

@linus-smallprint

Great, thank you!! What made you guess that? You’re right xD

@godlyfantasy12 that’s a great message!!

what are the crystals for btw? Are they just like “badges” of some kind, or do they have a deeper meaning?