Power

@freed_and_redeemed

*Visible anguish*

You just…leave us…with that?!?

Cruelty of an author. Misuse of cliffhangers. Undeniable suspense.

Ahhhhhhhh…

…

Great job! I don’t like any of these guys. Except Riker of course. And Leon, wherever he is right now…

And though I’ve felt sorry for Franz,  he abused a child.

So yeah. Anxiously…[Read more]

I also liked the way Leon realizes he’s dying, and that he doesn’t have much time left to work here. The urgency that comes over his actions was real to me.

And then the whole “you’re crazy but I still kinda admire your attitude” thing was funny, but unfortunately real.

@ellette-giselle

Okay. XD

1. It directly applied to today. Ian was hopeless. Utterly hopeless. And there really wasn’t anything better than Heaven itself to offer him. Most people today are already living in hell. They need to know heaven is real.
2. We saw that suicide attempt coming, even though you didn’t spell that out. And then you thwarted a…

[Read more]

@liberty

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO READ THIS SECTION!!!!!!!!!

I’m so happy! I posted it and I was like, “Liberty’s gonna love this!!!”

Haha!!! I’m so glad I threw you a loop!!

Good! I’m glad you were scared for him! 😂

I’m so HAPPY!!!!!!!

So, this is really cazy because I never thought this scene was one of my best!!…[Read more]

@koshka

Oh my word!! 😂

Huh, this was never one of my best scenes in my mind. That’s funny how that does that. 🤣

Also, Ian’s conversion was one of my favorites to date for a number of reasons.

Ooooo!!! TELL ME!!

@ellette-giselle

Where did you come from?!?! 😂

*Wiggles fingers mysteriously* Narnia…

I wonder what is hooking everyone so much about this section?! Why do y’all like it so much?

I guess it felt well balanced to me, better than some of the others. You did more show than tell; your characters were interacting with each other and their own st…[Read more]

@loopylin

Chase

Chase grabbed one of the two, not knowing the difference besides their colorful packaging. Then he froze, turning the can over in his hand. How do you open this? He had never seen drinks stored in a metal can. He panicked a little. He could ask Felicity, but would she think him stupid? What did it matter? If she thought it s…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I’m a bit missy with the point of view in there,

Messy…. I believe.

Yes. I feel like correcting people’s grammar today.

Maybe I’ve been writing too many Nazi POVs.

@hybridlore

Okay, that’s fair. I can see where the interest is coming from. 😂

@koshka

Ahhh!!!

Where did you come from?!?! 😂

I wrote a chapter worthy of koshka comments!!!! 🥳

haha! I’m glad you didn’t see him coming.

Ooo, I’m glad you liked it.

I wonder what is hooking everyone so much about this section?! Why do y’all like it so much? 😂

@ellette-giselle

It’s Rolf! XD I was expecting someone from Vandalia or somewhere like that, not Rolf.

And yeah. I actually read the chapters in my email to avoid spoiling, although it does mean I often forget to comment.

But oooooo, I liked this chapter. Definitely ready for the next one.

(And I still don’t think this book is darker than the…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Lololol.

Huh, that’s funny. I guess there is a sort of connection there.

I just find the whole idea of his story interesting, and the different ways he has gone about fighting the slave-trade.

@hybridlore

*gaspeth*

CHEATER!!!

🤣

Although, why did he change his name?

Hmm. wouldn’t you like to know.

Wow! Really? Well then, lucky Ian.

btw, what do you think of their new owner, Kareem Omar?

@hybridlore

Did you see it coming that it would be Rolf, or did that catch you by surprise?

Oh what? Now your loyalties have shifted?!! I see. So is Ian the new favorite?

@the_lost-journal

Pax

@hybridlore  @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty

NEXT SECTION!!

Time passed, and Leon’s wounds began to heal, leaving deep scaring in many places. However, his strength was harder to regain. Without good food, and surviving on only two meals a day, he had already begun to weaken. After the beating and…

[Read more]

@koshka

Ooo. Hmmm. I wonder which one is going to have the least people……..

Prob. the top floor.

Rory

Rory looked up as the door opened. Leo stepped out and Rory followed him into the hallway. It was quiet here with no students running about. It seemed… not peaceful. Peaceful was the church. No, this was… stiff. It almost felt…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Leo

The elevator rattled on its assent, nearly drowning out the kid’s quiet words. Leo leaned back against the smooth metal wall an, enjoying the rythmic click of well built machinery even if it was a bit rough. His thumbs hooked into his belt.

“Ah, me too, kid. A title’d probably make it that much harder to be inconspicuous.”…[Read more]

@koshka Thank you! Yes, while I’m probably going to aim a bit in the middle of YA and Middle grade, I’m just not sure how comfortable I am at least in this drafting stage with certain issues and of course this is a CLEAN work/series, so while I will deal with heavy issues, making it more YA, and writing style as well (I hope lol!) I don’t want to…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

Well done! I appreciate how you wrote that in a way that a younger audience wouldn’t understand his implications, yet you didn’t shy away from the point. And oh, Ara.

She should have told him. But that’s not an easy thing to say.

And November. Dear, loving November.

I hope this Uncle beats the snot from that kid in one way or…[Read more]