Pen_for_Christ205

I’m also…just struggling sometimes with this book. The concept, plot, characters, etc are good. I like it…but at the same time at points it feels flat…It needs more, I already have notes for things I need to add but its a little overwhelming…

I really wanna get it to the point I feel comfortable letting someone else read it and critique…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Lol. He might need to learn to notice details if he’s going to lead a rebellion.

Also don’t remember if they already talked about family. Maybe I need to keep better track of details.

I kind of spoke for Wolfgang, but I tried to write it so you could change his lines as you like.

Wilhelm

“Reinhard is…?” Wilhelm looked back…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I’m amused that Wolfgang hasn’t connected the dots, especially considering Wilhelm’s 11th cent clothing, rooms, and culture. XD I know he thinks it’s impossible, but something should be tickling his subconscious by now.

Wilhelm

Either this boy was confused or Wilhelm was. Or perhaps both. The idea that knights were antiquated…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Thanks. XD He’s just a scared little hedgehog with all the prickles out.

Sounds good to me!

A little bored despite the late hour so here’s a ramble into this wild boy’s mental state.

Ari

Low lamplight painted the gold and crimson walls in a warm glow. Muted footsteps echoed off the polished floors.

Ari mounted the last few steps up to the floor with his personal quarters. A few other residents sprinkled the hallway in wandering…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

They totally are!

Wilhelm

Wolfgang’s second swing was more controlled, although it still sent Wilhelm’s heart up in his throat. He forced his voice into a level calm.

“Ah. That’s better… It depends on the armor, but yes. There’s little use in a weapon that can’t reach your enemy.” Once more, he edged back to give Wolfgang…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Aha! I finally got back on here.

Here’s the sketch of Cass.

@ellette-giselle

Ahh! He’s epic. I’ve never imagined him wearing fancy/volumous clothes before. He looks quite royal in them. The freckles turned out cute. You got his facial structure very well! It’s been one of the hardest things to find for some reason.

Thank you for drawing him!

I do have a drawing of Cassion, but it was just an initial…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ahh. I love his response. Honestly, relatable.

Wilhelm

He laughed, ducking out of the way of Wolfgang’s stroke. A cord of terror was threading it’s way through his mind, taught with shimmering excitement. He slipped around to Wolfgang’s other, less dangerous side.

“This sword was made to shear through plate armor. Of course…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Wilhelm

His smile widened.

“Not like that. Put one hand here, and the other here. Like this.” He demonstrated, lifting the blade into a salute. It almost touched the ceiling. He held it out for Wolfgang to take. “It was my father’s sword. He won his spurs with it. Tis quite sharp and heavy, so be careful.”

Whoa. AI is both creepy and hilarious. I am glad to know that KP is still a smidgen confusing to a foreign spy.

@whalekeeper

I’m interested in a writing call!

@ellette-giselle

Hehe

Wilhelm

“Well,” Wilhelm paused. He turned to look Wolfgang in the face. “Hopefully not. It’s likely that all this suspicion is unfounded. If so, then no. We will not actually kill people. But if the leaders of this school truly are planning fiendish conspiracy….”

He took down the sword he had stowed away by the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I think that’s what I said. XD

Wilhelm

No amount of Wolfgang’s excitement, although it lit every aspect of his face, could explain what a Luger was. Wilhelm hardly understood the term “gun.” He suspected it was the kind of thing you would have to see to understand. The weapon sounded like a small war engine or a bow. Wolfgang’s…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Yay!

Wolfgang is a walking facepalm.

Wilhelm

“Really? What’s a Luger? One of your guns?” He waved his hands vaguely. He had a distinctive mistrust of Wolfgang’s skill with the weapon. Something about his repeated lack of practice was unnerving. It made the shiver from earlier return, only to settle into flutters in his stomach.

@koshka Very true!

@ellette-giselle

Ok, let’s see….

Wilhelm

As curious as he was about the instrument Wolfgang had named, Wilhelm kept his mouth shut. The other boy had a strange look on his face. It was almost serious.

But then the silence would get too long.

“It sounds lovely. My mother plays the vielle, but I never could make it sing…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

This sounds dangerous.

@elishavet-pidyon

Certainly a sweeter boy than his half-brothers.

@grcr

GASPETH

Wow. The art is fantastic, but on a mug. Tis gorgeous.

@koshka

Awwwwwwww ARI! How did you grow up to be like this? (I mean. I know why. But it’s my firm belief that you were a sweet little guy until you started to be mature.)

Fly far, Ari. Find your answers. You can do it.

@whalekeeper

That’s a joke.

*Snort*