OrangeArmadillo

Also I am changing Thorn’s nickname to Babs – at least for now. I’m seriously messing with her name, and I just want to try out this one and see if it rubs the wrong way. 😂

Um. I think the only person this would affect much at all is @keilah-h . I dunno.

@loopylin @calyhuge @euodia-vision @freedomwriter76 @anyoneIforgetz!

Marcel

As a few of…[Read more]

Hugo

Hugo Angelo began to run.

He looked like a lean ally cat, with a black suit and soft footfalls. Hair looped around his face, glistening with golden and red highlights.

The parking lot had jammed up the street, as cars played jigsaw puzzle with each other, trying to make it out into the city for shopping week. But above, leaves from the…[Read more]

@loopylin

Actually yes, his friend WILL be joining 🤣😋

@everyone

Adding a new character!

Hugo Angelo

Age: 16

Appearance: You’ll get the description in the RP, so I’ll just skip this 😝

Personality: Hugo is a super sweet older brother. He can act naive and childish at times, but mostly only with Seb, since he likes to balance out his ado…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I like that a lot better! It’s really up to you, though. Rae had some good feedback!

@everyone

Sounds like a plan!!! 😊💕

I can’t wait to go shopping!!

The girls can go to the mall, and the guys can be dragged along and it will be totally awesome 😜😝

And I’ll have to think of a villain I can twist up into a moody teenager. *cracks knuckles*

@loopylin

Room assignments have just kinda meshed together, so you can pretty much roo…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yayy! Looks good! I don’t mind the summary kind of telling, I think it works well for this story.

@esther-c

That’s okay! Thank you!

@mineralizedwritings

I think Katrin needs a goal. even if it isn’t the typical dystopian goal about overtoppleing the government. She can also pursue one goal, then realize she has to reach even higher if you really want to push the climax. Maybe that’s when she gets a little help from side characters, or remembers the things she has learned ove…

[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom

I agree with Min and Jonas on everything they said. Resolve of the character will balance the unresolved political structure.However there’s still a lot of things you could do to end it differently. For one thing, most dystopias almost never talk about what happens after they take down the government. They need to reestablish e…

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@grcr

Thank you!

Also, @savannah_grace2009 I was gonna ask, how does she know that Lilitu dreamed exactly what happened to her before he even describes what happens?

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t really notice it seeming clunky! I like the part where she’s thinking back to playing pretend with her friends, it’s so sweet.

Personally, for the flashback part, I think I would leave it out and give more of like a summary, sort of like:

She knew that this was no ordinary dream. And not just because of his reaction.…

[Read more]

@freedomwriter76

Nice!

@savannah_grace2009

Yep! Here’s one I made for my WIP a while ago! Hopefully this doesn’t post twice, lol.

@jonas

Sort of, lol. It’s usually hard for me to think of things my characters hate, unless it’s like really obvious lol.

@jonas

Right, so like the first impression they give others. That would be interesting. I think I’d prefer just to write a paragraph from the point of view of someone else, and see how the main character looks from their eyes.

Okay, yeah. That could definitely come in handy for some characters. For me, it’s kind of hard to think of things like…[Read more]

@rae

Wait is that from a prequel/sequel? Nice!

@mineralizedwritings

Oh and as long as the rest  of your book is unique it’s alright to have a stereotypical ending. It’s when your book has a love triangle, America as a setting, and rebels taking down the government. If you can add one factor to really mix it up and make it something totally new, it won’t be considered stereotypical (Is it set…

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@mineralizedwritings

Something I have heard about in my research about plots is that there’s two separate goals your character has to reach. One of them is said and known about, such as defeating the government, the other is never mentioned but obvious to the reader. Something the character really longs for, a personal goal that is just as i…

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@jonas

I like them! Flamebreaker, Midnight, and Lightshard are my favorites, I think. And the blurb looks good!