LivyLynn

@daeus Go to recent forum topics. There are two topics of this.

Ahh! How’d I make two of those? @daeus Are you able to delete the other one? 😛 Oops.

Ahh! How’d I make two of those? @daeus Are you able to delete the other one. 😛 Oops.

@daeus one last suggestion about the final sentence.

he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered, everything he cherishes put to the test, and a long-hidden truth that will threaten his life.

I think that there should be a ‘being’ between ‘for’ and ‘shattered’. There needs to be some sort of verb there.

@daeus One quick note, where you say’ discovering a historic treasure, Matthew returns…”
You spelled Matthew with one ‘t’.

@daeus I really like this third version, but I still have a few battle-moves I like to use. 😛

First off, you say ‘vague shadows surrounding’. Well, my mind inserts the word ‘shrouds’ instead. I don’t know. I just think that word works better there.

Secondly, you say ‘wreak his vengeance’, it just doesn’t seem to fit. I start thinking ‘wreak…[Read more]

@perfectfifths
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@perfect-fifths Moody teenager indeed.
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

@kate-flournoy I have every confidence that Rogue One is going to be awesome, because it doesn’t have Anakin Skywalker or Jar Jar Binks in it. Those two characters made the prequels bad…this is not about those characters.

@kate-flournoy …So, I think that I’ll probably just stop now because I can’t seem to write anything that I like…at all. Good luck though!
I wrote 463 words all told.

@daeus Very good!
@kate-flournoy I think I’ll keep going…get this muse to do something with itself. 😛
So far 264 words.

@daeus @kate-flournoy
Sorry I’m late…I’ll see if I can conjure up a few words. 😛
Muse! I summon thee!

@daeus Actually… 🙂 *evil chuckle*
Muse! You shall thus bow to my every whim! Fight this thing that you call ‘Writer’s Block’ and overcome it with your AmuseING humor. Bow!