Linus Smallprint

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @grcr

WARNING:

There has been a change in the rapid time jump. It is now a bigger time jump, and Joseph is 19. Sorry about the whiplash any of y’all are experiencing after that. lol.

NEXT SECTION!!

“Joseph, do you think the gates will ever open?”

Asher…

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@linus-smallprint

I’ll try to send something in as soon as I finish formatting my magazine and get it sent out. I’m almost done!!!!!!

@linus-smallprint

That’s a pretty good addition to the scene! I don’t think that deviated from your story’s voice at all.

You’ll see. Then you will understand why other readers are mad at him. It wasn’t pretty.

Hehe, okay.

@linus-smallprint

YESSS!!! That’s it!!!

There we go. that’s all you needed.

@linus-smallprint

even if it is his fault she was captured in the first place.

How did that happen exactly? Was it more of an ignorant blunder, or?

@linus-smallprint

Thank you. If you weren’t playing the advocate, would you take Ellette’s side?

I simply mean what I described. 👍 I’m not sure how it compares with the rest of your feedback discussions… I have very little context. XD

He he.

My mind reading powers are impeccable.

Thanks for the link by the way! I can’t guarantee I’ll read it…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

(I’m trying to decern if the verses are saying that the Elder must be a husband and father, or if they are saying that if he is married, he should be married to only one wife and if he is a father, he must manage his household well. I know Paul was not married and did not have children, but he was an apostle and missionary. I d…

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@linus-smallprint

Oh.

So I’m not the only one who does this.

Nice.

(Nope, you aren’t allowed to ask which ones they are!!)

lol. Just kidding

I don’t know anymore. I think you should leave it a little “darker”, and it’s good to have lose ends at the end of a story if you plan to go on. I just wasn’t feeling it at this point. I mean, like I…[Read more]

@theducktator  @linus-smallprint

I hope Eric gets captured though.

I felt the same way, except that I don’t know and like him enough to really care if he does.

@linus-smallprint

See, these are the same lines I’m thinking along. I think I’m going to just make him older. The only thing that would hurt would be giving Y’all whiplash after I said he was sixteen. lol.

As for the children and wife thing, I know that Timothy wasn’t married at the time, and he was an elder. (Timothy is kind of my Joseph…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Yay! I was wondering when we would figure out what happened to Martha. I hope Eric gets captured though.

@linus-smallprint

(also, anyone else who is reading this, what do you think?)

You have a very sensible writer voice, with hints of humor and warmth. I think because of your semi-calm tone, you don’t seem like the kind of person who would write a super intense POV scene of shame for Eric, at least not until the arc’s climax.

And from what I can…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Idk,

what do you think, @linus-smallprint ?

I’m leaning toward making him older.

I mean, if he’s in the position of spiritual leader, he needs to be mature.

Hybridlore, pick three characters and put them in your signature, and give the rest back. Understand me? (Adrian doesn’t count because he’s dead. so there.)

lololol

@linus-smallprint

Um, I want him to be redeemed. lol.

For this I want to see him reacting in shame. If this is a big deal, I need to see it as a big deal.

Like, what is the most shameful or embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? (Don’t actually answer that. lol) Think how it made you feel, and then put yourself in the woods with some…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint   @hybridlore

Somebody help me!!!!!!! I’m going insane!!!!!!

Okay, not really, but I am stuck and I’m having one of those uninspiring days when words are just black spots on a white screen.

If that makes sense.

Ugh.

Okay, so I am going to do something very monumental in Joseph’s life………… except I’m stuck.

I d…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I normally do that, but this time I forgot. :/

Do you think it is okay to leave him like this, or should I put something else in to temporarily satisfy the reader?

I think we might be sim-understanding one another.

I don’t think Eric was ashamed ENOUGH. Like, the words on the paper said he was ashamed, but he didn’t feel…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Ugh. It deleted my reply.

I liked this chapter a lot, though I have read most of it. lol.

I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’s too freaked out to think though what happened. I hope to see some more repercussion of that later on.

I like how Alan and Tyn dealt with…[Read more]

@hybridlore

What does this mean exactly?? 🤨

Wouldn’t you like to know.

@keilah-h

That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol

I know, right!

all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t…

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@linus-smallprint

Duck tape? That must have been somewhat painful.

My kids have no idea what’s coming to them. lololololol.

When I reread your story, I weeded through the form and threw it into a word document so I would have access to it offline and could read it when I was taking the train to school or on a break at work. I still had the…

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