Linus Smallprint

@linus-smallprint

Yay! I was wondering when we would figure out what happened to Martha. I hope Eric gets captured though.

@linus-smallprint

(also, anyone else who is reading this, what do you think?)

You have a very sensible writer voice, with hints of humor and warmth. I think because of your semi-calm tone, you don’t seem like the kind of person who would write a super intense POV scene of shame for Eric, at least not until the arc’s climax.

And from what I can…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Idk,

what do you think, @linus-smallprint ?

I’m leaning toward making him older.

I mean, if he’s in the position of spiritual leader, he needs to be mature.

Hybridlore, pick three characters and put them in your signature, and give the rest back. Understand me? (Adrian doesn’t count because he’s dead. so there.)

lololol

@linus-smallprint

Um, I want him to be redeemed. lol.

For this I want to see him reacting in shame. If this is a big deal, I need to see it as a big deal.

Like, what is the most shameful or embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? (Don’t actually answer that. lol) Think how it made you feel, and then put yourself in the woods with some…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint   @hybridlore

Somebody help me!!!!!!! I’m going insane!!!!!!

Okay, not really, but I am stuck and I’m having one of those uninspiring days when words are just black spots on a white screen.

If that makes sense.

Ugh.

Okay, so I am going to do something very monumental in Joseph’s life………… except I’m stuck.

I d…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I normally do that, but this time I forgot. :/

Do you think it is okay to leave him like this, or should I put something else in to temporarily satisfy the reader?

I think we might be sim-understanding one another.

I don’t think Eric was ashamed ENOUGH. Like, the words on the paper said he was ashamed, but he didn’t feel…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Ugh. It deleted my reply.

I liked this chapter a lot, though I have read most of it. lol.

I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’s too freaked out to think though what happened. I hope to see some more repercussion of that later on.

I like how Alan and Tyn dealt with…[Read more]

@hybridlore

What does this mean exactly?? 🤨

Wouldn’t you like to know.

@keilah-h

That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol

I know, right!

all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Duck tape? That must have been somewhat painful.

My kids have no idea what’s coming to them. lololololol.

When I reread your story, I weeded through the form and threw it into a word document so I would have access to it offline and could read it when I was taking the train to school or on a break at work. I still had the…

[Read more]

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon

If this book had a theme song, this would have to be it. I have listened to it several times while editing, and this just about embodies the whole story.

What do y’all think?

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon

NEXT SECTION

The wind blew gently on the roof of the little house in the middle of the great capital city of Ardenta. On the roof, his legs crossed and a Bible on his knees, was a young man. He was reading intently, and every now and then he leant over to write dow…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I just decided to read that chapter completely out of order. I’ve only read up to chapter 5 besides this, I think, and that was a while ago. XD I can give some feedback about this chapter, as someone who read it without any context whatsoever.

I liked the sense of friendship I got from all the good guys, even if they couldn’t…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Sounds good.

Whoa! Interrogate is a strong word!

lol

Okay, well i don’t like him very much. he seems weak and kinda sulky. I mean. I don’t know, he’s a coward, and I don’t like cowards. I feel a redemption arch, but at the moment it’s hard to see. So yeah, I’m hoping for redemption, but I’m not liking him right now.

@linus-smallprint

I had no idea what that picture was from. i just saw the meme the other day and thought of it. It was perfect.

Sounds like you are speaking form experience here

Let’s just say, a long time ago, the last fight I had with my brother ended when mom duct taped our wrists together.

For the whole day.

We had to do school t…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Ooo, that chapter was very well written. I was feeling very tense, even though I knew what was going to happen. lol.

Yeah, Tyn is in a good position. Have her do it. This will be so, so bad for Eric. Plus, Tyn is in a bad mood, so she may even scold him.

I have never met a guy that didn’t absolutely hate it when a girl scolded him.

@linus-smallprint

Yup, it’s Eric. (How did you know?)

um…. because it was obvious since Martha got captured that he was a liability, and by the chapter you just wrote I knew he was going to get caught or alert the soldiers or something. (I may overstudy literary patterns.)

Sooo, maybe I’m blind, but I’m not seeing the problem……….. w…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

It occurs to me that Sabina and Julian are similar. Both have a brother who became a Christian, and they both thought he had gone crazy, which made them resistant to hearing the gospel and angry at whoever shared it with their brother. So I’m wondering if Sabina is going to recall how she acted and how this may impact her i…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint LOL.

@ellette-giselle

Really?! I didn’t know you wrote dystopian! What’s it about?

@linus-smallprint

Oh my goodness.

That is so bad.

I love it!!