@linus-smallprint
Active 9 hours, 31 minutes ago- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 712
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
What!?
what kind of childhood did you have never licking cuts? It’s a vital part of being a kid. lol.
Seriously, you could have caught any one of the kids at our church licking cuts after a ball game in the gravel parking-lot.
(cats do it too, btw)
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Oh why! Must it be a hand or foot? And why talons! Can’t you just restrict the movement! This is horrible. If he and Martha do get married, how is he supposed to hug her without slicing her back?!?!?
Think Linus!!!!
And partly crippling him really does not work, because think of the binds he’ll be in when trying to run or…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Yeah, it is a rough life. I feel like a lot of people will read about Leon and Julian and be like, “oh cool, the messenger missionaries on the run from soldiers” and not really think about what that would be like for NINE YEARS.
I chuckled at this.
so did I. lol.
Ew. Yeah, eat the bread instead.
You’ve never licked…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Ooo, that would be a cool idea.
I had the pro version for a little while as well, but I think both work fine.
I like the look of hand-drawn ones the best, but the ones on there are easier to make and have on hand as I’m writing.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Have you tried using Inkarnet?
I really enjoy using them for my maps after I do the initial sketches.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @grcr
The next morning, Julian and Leon left to start another journey. They wouldn’t be returning to the capital, so Joseph sent no return letter to Sabina.
Joseph walked with the two former soldiers outside the gates of the town. It was good to be with old friends.…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
(5 more minutes, and then we stop!)
SUCH A GOOD MOVIE!
Of course there’s the whole storks delver babies theory which isn’t true, (but I don’t know any people who still believe that)
but there are so many subtle things that are so, so good!
And the humor is chef’s kiss!
Okay, glad the scene works.…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
I love the map!!!
Okay, have fund being a terrible person and making all your readers mad at you.
lol.
It is super frustrating tho. HE WAS ON THE RIGHT TRACK!!
*sobs*
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The Most Esteemed Feathered One replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Alan, must you do something stupid????😩
Just met the second crow, but I’m pausing to call something.
I think it’s his mother.
Maybe.
Ooh, good theory.
Seriously, that gave me the ugh-the-main-character-is-doing-something-stupid sinking feeling in my stomach
Same.
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Stepheroni and Cheese replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
I think I may struggle with this partially be because my Dad and I are not very emotional and struggle with being sincere, and sometimes can seem stiff. My interactions with him naturally are what I refer to for these scenes, so Alan and Charles have picked it up.
.Ah, I see. I have a very close relationship with my Dad, so I…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
@linus-smallprint ah. Makes sense.
By the way, how did native-to-Earth animals get to Ehverwyld? I can see the otherworldly animals like vandergrits and dragons having been there since that world’s creation, but what about the crows and horses, etc.? Did they come through the same portals that humans did, but by sheer accident? were they created…[Read more]
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whaley replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 month, 1 week ago
@loopylin @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @linus-smallprint @ellette-giselle @godlyfantasy12 @rae @raxforge @whoever
I have a fun question! I’ve already figured out my answer for my story, but I asked my friends this question and got so much traction that I wanted to post it here too. I love hearing what different people come up with. My f…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
lol. Poor Joseph. It must have been awful for him.
ah yes. Eric is very proud of himself.
good. Good! I’m so glad this scene works well! “touch down Tulip!!” (Storks if you haven’t scene the movie that quite come from)
I’m surprised there was no comment on the Julian/Joseph conversation.
was it good? Does it fit? -
Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
that’s what (frustratingly) keeps me from being able to say this scene doesn’t work.
I don’t like you at all.
yes! Yes it does make sense, and I hate that I’m saying it, but it fits.
I doubly don’t like you.
I also agree that the interactions seem very stiff or formal, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what you’re going for.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
@linus-smallprint ok!!
Let’s get to it!
-I see the king is trying to convince Oliver and Tyn to talk Alan into magic again. Yikes. I hope they don’t go through with it. I also read when Alan is going to try to use the magic himself, which won’t be good.
Why does the crow seem to be sentient? Why does it want him to use the magic? Is this…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
@linus-smallprint I’m still reading! I just haven’t had the chance to critique the chapters.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @grcr
Okay, I made the suggested changes to the last couple of sections, and I’m working on some more Joseph/Amelia interactions. I thought I’d just go ahead and post the next scene while I take care of the other stuff.
NEXT SECTION
After Leon and Julian left…
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Stepheroni and Cheese replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 month, 1 week ago
Just-
What-
No!
Seriously, that gave me the ugh-the-main-character-is-doing-something-stupid sinking feeling in my stomach, so bravo. You can successfully torture your readers.
In chapter the 28th, I did notice that some of the dialogue between Alan and his father is a bit stiff. For example:
Alan gave his father a…
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Lenny replied to the topic The diamond game. in the forum Film 1 month, 2 weeks ago
LOL!!!! But seriously, what do you need help with?
And if you need help understanding what you’re supposed to do just tell me! T-T
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Lenny replied to the topic The diamond game. in the forum Film 1 month, 2 weeks ago
Okay, thats fine. But I don’t know HOW MANY friggin times I have to say this! IT IS NOT AN RP!
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