Linus Smallprint

@trailblazer

Ok, thanks! Haha, maybe my brothers and their friends are more wild, but it’s younger or older brother annoying each other around here. lol.

What did you think of the rewrite? was that better? I tried to make a few things a little clearer and also add some action in the beginning. If you still think it doesn’t build enough action…[Read more]

OK, I went ahead and rewrote some stuff in the first chapter. is this better? (I put the new stuff in bold so y’all don’t have to read the whole chapter over again.)

 
Chapter 1
Julius ducked a blow aimed for his head. He jumped back a step as his opponent quickly followed up the swipe with a thrust toward his chest. The enemy stumbled slightly…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yes. All the blog posts. sorry for the confusion. lol.

YAY!!! I thought I’d give that a shot and see if that was what y’all meant for me to do. Now that i see it was and how easy it is I bet y’all were laughing because I was making it so over complicated. lol.

WOW!! Thank you all! This is so helpful!

OK, I’ll mention the thing about the gods first. So, in the time of Nero things were starting to slip. There were many, many slaves who had come from wars, and a lot of their religion, or lack thereof, had started to rub off. There were several emperors after Nero who wanted to “reclaim the glory of…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Yes, even all the “cringy posts” Which I actually didn’t find a tone of “cringy” ones. I was reading stuff back from 2010 or 2011, depending on when Kingdom Pen started. I actually fell for whoever’s April fools joke it was to say that Kingdom Pen was closing down!! I was reading and it was saying that this had been closed…[Read more]

@rae

Chase is so adorable <3

I am officially a member of the Chase protection squad.

Sef

She laughed. “Thank you,” she said to the bird, lightly stroking it with her finger.

@rae

Sef

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore right now,” she said, sensing he was overwhelmed. “But if you ever want to talk about any of that stuff, I’m here.”

@elette-giselle @freed_and_redeemed

post scenes and break hearts. That’s what I do. And I do it very well, if I do say so myself😝

Yes.

You do.

💔😢

@rae

Sef

Please give me the words, she sent a silent prayer up to the heavens.

“His son chose to die for us. He didn’t have to…but He wanted to!” her eyes shone. “But he didn’t stay dead! After three days, He rose again!” She thought about Chase’s other question. “My father abandoned me and my mani when I was four. I had the same ques…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Oh wow, your camp sounds so much fun! And wayyy different from ours lol!

Ours is kind of in the middle of nowhere…you’d never expect a camp to be there!

It depends on who is directing the camp that week what kind of teams we have,  but normally we are split up into about four to six teams of different colors. Each team has about…[Read more]

@rae

Sef

“The Great One is what my people call “God”, or “Yahweh”. He created everything,” Sef began. “He created us, and the universe! But then a great darkness overcame the world, and the people living in it. To save us from ourselves, the Great One sent His Son to die in our place! He wants to have a relationship with us, even though we make…[Read more]

@esther-c

Livia

She wiped her eyes, determined to not let another tear fall.

“I haven’t prayed in a while,” she smiled bitterly. She shook her head. “I’m not even sure He hears me anymore. I just feel so…lost.”

WOW!! awesome! Thank you so much for y’all’s help. I only have one chapter in a place where I would call it more then ideas. (I just started the book today. I’ll have to put more of it there later. I can’t wait to hear feedback from other authors!

@esther-c

Yes yes yes!!!!!!!

lol that’s so funny though!

Livia

She closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her.

But she felt numb.

All she felt was hurt…so much hurt…

“We had to sell Xandro,” all her attempts to keep from crying failed, and she let out a sob. “We had to sell everything and move to the poor district,” she leaned…[Read more]

Ok, so, sorry if it seems like I’m asking the same thing over again, but this seems a little too good to be true. lol.

So, i am currently writing a novel right this minute. If I created a WIP in the novel critiques section, could I put the first chapter there and y’all give me feedback, and then the second chapter and so forth, or is that not…[Read more]

@rae

Sef

“You don’t have to be strong enough,” Sef pulled away and looked up at him. “Because you never will be strong enough on your own. But when you ask the Great One for help, when you are weak, He is stronger!”

@ellette-giselle

So wait, I could submit a book I’m working on in one of the Forums and y’all would give me feedback!

Yes! 😊😊

I am always looking for honest critiques and it’s hard to find someone that will do it because they are all afraid of hurting my feelings. Even though I tell them that it’s not hurting but helping. I think it’s just a th…

[Read more]