Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle

Our church fought two fires during COVID.

Yikes!

@ellette-giselle

ack. I felt like there was something off about what he was saying, but I was looking for grammar and spelling over content. 😂

Okay, good. I know you are a Calvinist as well, so I was confused why you had that in.

Then I chose this. So, all that to say…. does it work? Or was a lie the only way he could have done it? (I know you s…

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@hybridlore

I read your latest section. It was good! I left you a few comments on the file. I feel like Cole is going to start getting a little more involved soon.

@ellette-giselle

Okay, I’m back now!

So, keilah likes the scene that you have a problem with, linus! This is great. 🤣

Here’s an idea. What if I shift it a little so that the conversation happened a day or two after they had already been on the ship? Do you think that would work?

That would definitely work better, giving Julian some time to c…[Read more]

@theshadow
I read your latest chapter, but don’t have time to comment on it today. That may be the case until Thursday. Don’t worry about waiting for me, you can keep posting more stuff if you have any.

@ellette-giselle
I read your latest section, but don’t have time to comment on it today. All I can say is that I liked it (in the same sort of way I have liked your other sections recently) That may be the case until Thursday. Don’t worry about me, you can keep posting more stuff.

My two of my mom’s guy friends were killed through that game when she was a teenager.

Yikes! That’s scary

@ellette-giselle

Understandable.

I have also just considered making up a world with my friends and doing our own fantasy RPG in it.

@ellette-giselle

btw, do you like RP type games?

I’ve kind of wanted to get into D&D, but with a group of Christians so that we can do a campaign without anything the anyone feels uncomfortable with. My friends has tried to start a Star Wars one a fet times, but that had never worked out.

That War Story: Occupied France sounds kind of neat, but I…[Read more]

@theducktator @ellette-giselle

Okay. Thank you both. I might wait to see what @whalekeeper thinks, but your responses are helpful.  I could add a moment of clarity where he realizes what he is doing when he is too close to the village and gets caught up in the fight, even if he plans to escape.

@ellette-giselle

That makes sense. However again, different people would react differently.

But what about when he wakes up?

@ellette-giselle

This could be interesting to try…. but I’m not sure Julian and Leon feel like that sort of person…….. do either of them feel that way to you?

I guess both of them do seem to be confident individuals. Julian is certainly a blame others type, considering his reaction to Adrian’s death. Leon, I’m not so sure about it.

I’m just re…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Is it bad that it was reversed?

I wounldn’t say so. It just makes this scene feel more like a moment where Joseph/Arron is struggling then Noah/David encourages or seems stronger.

Hmm…. I might possibly chuck that section altogether………..

Up to you.

Well….. I think that might be because that tends to be what happens to me when I’m…

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@ellette-giselle

What if he stops for the night? (Which he will need to do. Nearland can be reached in a day on horseback from Dehn Prisson, but someone walking would have to take a break.) Do you think it would cross his mind then?

And there may be other ways to get Alan with his friends that would work better.

I should mention that Alan acctually doesn’t even know if his friends are still there, thinking Stripe might have gotten them to move on.

@ellette-giselle @theducktator @whalekeeper

Okay, another question for all of you. I’m wondering if Alan would even return to the abandoned village. After he escapes the prison, he starts heading there since he has nowhere else to go in the moment, but then it occurs to him that the Wizards will probably look for him there. His friends are in…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Well that is exactly how you should picture him! Bravo! 👏🏻

Wow. That’s like… a first for me.

I thought about having a POV for him….. but that will start fracturing into lots of POVs and the question will be, “Why Rolf over Aelic and Roland?” and then I’ll have five POVs going.

Yup. Well, no need to go into Rolf’s head.…

@ellette-giselle @theducktator @whalekeeper

All right. Thank you for your thoughts. I might try the first draft with the henchmen, and if I don’t like them, I can pull them out later.

Acctually, the sarcastic henchmen who always wonder how they ended up with their job are some of the henchmen I like, but I don’t think that fits TNPT, so I’ll see…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Leon’s prayer at the beginning was what I was expecting to be going through Rolf’s head instead, then Leon being the one who encourages as he has gone through so much more. I was supprised when it was reversed!

I’m not convinced by Julian telling Dian the gospel in that moment. Both before and after, he is caught in grief over…[Read more]