Linus Smallprint

@keilah-h

Thank you!

by the way, will we ever see more gorbs? I kinda miss your humorous Australian lizard people.

Not likely. Don’t forget that gorbs are enemies of the lyens, so to find one in a lyen country, like Oliver, is rare.

@ellette-giselle

Don’t have too much to say for this section. It was fine.

Just one thing:

Well, Hans is nineteen.

It feels like 90% of your characters are males between 16 and 30. Yes, there have been exceptions, but everywhere they go, they run into eager young men. It might be nicer to see some more variety in characters, even if older men…[Read more]

Oh, it actually imbedded the thing in the page. Interesting. Click on the 0.5 so that the warning on the top doesn’t bloke the code, or click on the box symbol in the top right to take you to the page itself.

@hybridlore

This isn’t perfect, but here is something that may be similar to Cole’s test. I made it with some basic HTML code, Javascript for functionality, and Bootstrap for styling. I can’t do everything in here, for example, this form isn’t actually sending the information you enter in it anywhere and…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Thank you for your feedback. The first thing you mentioned about Tyn not wanting to see Alan fail is a good point. In Book I, she did look up to him and seeing him resist magic for so long was hope she could overcome her instincts. But when he failed and returned to magic, she began to lose hope, which is why she refused to help…[Read more]

@theducktator

There is always Alaska.

@keilah-h

Most of your questions will be answered in the next section. Thank you for your feedback!

@whalekeeper

Here is my explanation for Tyn’s behaviour. I don’t know how well you will be able to read this, so let me know if you need me to clarify anything:

What I forgot to mention here is that one of Tyn’s biggest fears is being controlled. Cyrus turns her against Alan, and she doesn’t want to admit it, so she is trying to justify it.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @theducktator @keilah-h @stephie

Chapter 3 is out!

@whalekeeper

Yes! The weather rock! My dad wants to put up one someday.

@theshadow

“Maybe this corner is a dead end.” Jack remarked, turning round. He started, taking a double look. “Uh, the path behind us is gone.”

Hard to follow the rule of staying on the path when the path itself won’t cooperate.

Olivia turned round, and, with the force of a wave on a stormy day, slapped Adaline.

Nice!

“How do you intend on gettin…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

yeah, thanks for stating the obvious. 😂

It’s a skill of mine.

Does that mean it was good or bad?

I’m not sure. I haven’t put much thought into weather bribing is good or bad. All I know, it that I don’t like being bribed, and if you try to bribe me, I will only grow more stubborn.

yeah. Why? (About Wolf)

That’s kinda cool. Though…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay. I’m back again. [Only about a month left of busy school days and awkward schedules.] I should hopefully have more time next week. Now I have to remember which sections I haven’t given you feedback on.

I think the first one was when Leon and Rolf are reunited.

I think the change in point of view works there.

Conrad covered…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Got another busy start to this week, so I won’t be able to give you feedback until later. Sorry.

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @theducktator @keilah-h @stephie

Chapter the 1st is out!

@ellette-giselle

The dragon laptop ate LOS for breakfast! 😱

Those greedy dragon laptops…

Do you back up your work to some sort of cloud drive?

@ellette-giselle

Um…… you’re off by like 40 years.

Well, maybe he will be a grandpa some day.

Speaking of…… any thoughts on his back story?

Umm… Perehapes he was a slave, or at least treated like one, earlier in his life, along with his brothers and cousins. They escaped, and tired to help other slaves.

So, how did you ‘know it’?

[Read more]

@stephie

It’s 18 degrees Celcius outside and the warmest thing I wore today was a sweatshirt.

*chuckles because I get to say I’m Canadian whilst living in a Southern area of Canada*

Cheater.

@theducktator

Spoken like someone who doesn’t get 7 months of winter a year. I would happily swap my weather for yours, but this is the way it is. Oh wel…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Cool!

@keilah-h

My sister also tried to join last month but hasn’t gotten any response.

@jonas

It would be good if someone were promoted to Moderator. Since I’ve joined kingdom pen, the current moderators seem not very on top of things.

@theducktator

Did you get snow???

Yes. Up here in Canada, we’ve gotten snow as late as May.

@ellette-giselle

Maybe I’ve been writing too many Nazi POVs.

Probably. No soup for you.