Linus Smallprint

@keilah-h
Thanks!

@ellette-giselle

I am editing up the next section an should post it soon. 

Good. I’m going to be working on my own book/school assignments, so I probably won’t read it until my break at work.

So wait, are you older or younger then your brother?

I’m the eldest. Remember that whole eldest child sympathy party I started with Martha?

Yes, God can…

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@ellette-giselle
I’m back!

You and thinking my characters are older then they are! What is it with you!? lol.
Actually, it wasn’t so bad as last time. Adrian is younger then Aaron was, so yes, seventeen. (what made you guess that number?) He’s seven years older then Joseph. I have a sweet little friend at church who is seven years younger then i a…

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@ellette-giselle

 Forth section:

Joseph looked up at Darrien. His face was white, and his finger’s tightened on the door frame. He used his other hand to gently push Joseph back. “Please, the children had nothing to do with it, nor did the women. I was the one who hid him. Take me but leave the others.”

This felt unessasary. Julian only said t…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Poor Linus. You’ll have so much catching up to do. Sorry.

Yeah, yesterday was rather busy. Oh well. I have time today.

(By the way, I should let you know that I’m not bothering to read the  feedback others are giving you, so if anything has come up that you want more thought on, please let me know.)

Feedback for the third se…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Feedback for the second section:

Don’t have too much to say about this one. Joseph kind of falling back to where he was before, but it is easy to see why.

He could hear Noah and Sabina praying together, and for a moment he thought Aaron was captured, for this was how it had been.

This is a nice peak back into what they were all…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

NEXT SECTION!!!!!!

Okay, that’s a lot of exclamation marks. You know five exclamation marks is a sure sign of madness, right? But you couldn’t settle for five, you went for six. (But who am I kidding, we’re all authors. Madness is sure to come with that.) Ellette, what are you doing to Joseph?

Feedback for the first of those…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Wooph! Got a lot to catch up on! Let’s see how far I get before I have class…

It was actually not Betsy. It was Corrie and Betsy’s Niece, Peter and Reuben’s brother, and it was Peter and Reuben who were under the table because someone had seen them with the Jews and informed on them. (At least, that’s what it say’s in Corrie’…

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@ellette-giselle

Question:

What would you do if you lived in Germany during WWII and you were hiding a Jewish couple and their baby. The Nazi’s came pounding on the door and said, “Are you hiding Jews?”/”where are the Jews?” etc. (which btw they often asked this type of question to scare people into telling the truth)

What would you say?…

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@ellette-giselle

So, even though this doesn’t sound pleasant, what I ended up doing was reading the chapter through and then rewriting it completely, using the old chapter as a reference point for events that needed to happen and dialogue I wanted to keep.

That is what I’m doing as well, but either my new ideas are much better than my old or my q…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I would be interested in your reasons behind why you don’t agree with her/my reasoning. Though keep in mind I won’t be changing this scene, so if you find it a waste of time then don’t bother explaining.

To put it simply, it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18). Now of course, things are different for God, but Jesus, in Hi…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

 This is one of the best ones yet!!

Huh. You often supprise me with the scenes that you think are the best.

I’m curious, did you write this from scratch, or was it in the draft?

In my first draft, I was unsure if I wanted to send Alan to save The Faithful after he joined them. Event happened differently there. Alan found out ab…[Read more]

@keilah-h

 It does seem a tiny bit sudden, but I don’t know cause I’ve never actually seen a person get saved and them follow their life immediately afterward. 

Alan does feel a little bit rushed to get back to planning since other people are in danger. He also felt the need to apologize to Rour, and had to go through Stripe to get to him.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I was a little distratded during this chapter because I do disagree with you on weather or not it is okay for Christians to lie to protect others. However, I don’t really have a response to the arguments that Sabina gives and I belive this to be a tercarary issue, so unless you want to discus this, I’m willing to leave it…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Troy was a big hint. I also some some other things from it that poped up in my feed that contained some greek mythology gods/creatures, so I thought that might be the case

@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow

Next chapter! This scene was a little fun to write as it uses a new location that did not exist within my first draft.

The last bit of character I want Alan to develop may now be more apparent, Keliah.

Chapter the 24th – The Plan

@ellette-giselle

Is the musical based off of the Iliad or Odessy?

@ellette-giselle

But is that bad? Can Joseph not love the same thing as Aaron and still be Joseph? If you think it is bad, then……. idk what I’ll do. lol

No, it’s not bad. You just told me to keep a watch for if Joseph starts to feel like Aaron. This is just a place where the two of them could start to feel sort of samey.

Let’s just say that if…

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@ellette-giselle

Okay, why the uniform? Well, (as will be explained later) Adrian isn’t supposed to be here at all. He’s supposed to be in the Fort or on patrol, not messing around with civilians. So, technically he’s actually on patrol, but he was using the cloak to help hide the fact that he’s going in and out of the orphanage, and the fact th…

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@ellette-giselle

There we go, there is that Ardenta mistrust appearing. Poor Joseph. It’s completely understandable why he freaked out. I’m glad this is how you reintroduced Adrian to us instead of just having Joseph already know and accept him. It adds a little tension and some dramatic irony. It is a good way for Joseph to begin to understand…[Read more]