Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle

Hmm, wow, must have really sobered you. No comment on the amount of exclamation marks. lol. After I posted it, I looked back and was like, “wow, there’s a lot.” lol. 

*Goes back to look.* 15?!? *Calls a doctor.*

And no comment on the fact that I offed Joseph’ best friends.

You’ve already killed off his father and two very close fr…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay. well, the Stripe one of course. That would be super funny/cute, especially with his ears flat. lol.

Maybe one of Martha and Alan talking. I would like to see Martha in an actual scene.

i’ll have to think more on this.

Do you mean the scene where Alan is about to head out with the Humlers and Oliver to find his d…[Read more]

@stephie

As for the actual plot of everything, I really like what you did with the crow there. Ties in nicely. I’m curious as to what the king’s doing. Is he trying to help Alan? It may be that because he was interested in Alan’s success, he ordered the arrests of the Faithful in order to get rid of one of the wizard’s obstacles. But now, will he…

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@ellette-giselle

“Today, the gates of every village, town and city will be thrown wide open! You will return to your homes, if you wish. You will farm the land; you will travel and trade where you will within Ardenta!” 

Ah. So there was a positive event in there. This is what you were referring too.

“Let them go!” came a shout.

Joseph looked a…

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@ellette-giselle

Aside from Stripe being hugged, I really enjoyed the chapter.I’m glad you brought the crow back in. I was wondering how long it would be before you tied that part of the plot back into the story.

I haven’t been entirely sure how to fit it in all the time. Especially since many of its scenes are just it watching and Alan being a l…[Read more]

@stephie @ellette-giselle

YEEEESSSS!!!!!

STRIPE HAS BEEN HUGGED!!!!

*does a happy dance* – Stephie

Yippy! Stripe was HUGGED!!!! – Ellette

*Bows*

AWWWWW! it was soooooo cute!!!!!! Now you have to draw a picture of it!!!

Maybe. This is a question I will ask at the end, but so far, what would the top scenes that you would like to see illustrations for be?

@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow @whalekeeper

Next chapter! I’ts been a while since I’ve done two chapters in one week, but I got excited by this one and put off some school. So here you go!

This is the chapter where my book will be redeemed in the eyes of Ellette, Ducktactor, and Stephie. I hope you’re all…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay. So you are coming off as a little cold-hearted, but there is something this section did for me that you may be all right with.

This section established the fact that no one is safe.

Protagonist, side-character, mentor, or any of them could suddenly be captured and killed. There is no plot armor. I thought before that you…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Something was about to happen that would change everything.

Why was I expecting this to be something positive? It kind of made the event feel like a slap. (Ouch. I’m feeling Josephs pain.) Unless I misunderstood what this event ended up being?

It also feels more tragic because of how casually Eric and Asher headed out. It was…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

👍

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper

Good. I might still check with my sister to see what she thinks, but if you both like it, then I think I might go swap the ending.

@ellette-giselle

So yeah, now Joseph is officially nineteen. I’ll have to let everyone know.

Ooph. That sudden rapid aging has to come with a terribly painful growth spurt.

As for the children and wife thing, I know that Timothy wasn’t married at the time, and he was an elder. (Timothy is kind of my Joseph stencil.) Anyways.

Ah yes, of course, goo…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

I simply mean what I described. 👍 I’m not sure how it compares with the rest of your feedback discussions… I have very little context. XD

Okay. I did just post a rewritten version above. So you can also read that and see what you think.

Thanks for the link by the way! I can’t guarantee I’ll read it soon, but now I have it on my rada…

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@ellette-giselle

So I’m not the only one who does this.

I think it comes naturally. We tend to write what we know. One of my friends who plays D&D had a character he tried to make completely different from him. This character was a lying scoundrel, but my friend himself is honest, so his character ended up being more honest than he intended.

I d…

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@theducktator

I hope Eric gets captured though.

Isn’t that a little harsh? I mean, consider Martha. How do you think she would feel if her brother was captured in order to free her? The poor girl. She will be much happier if she is able to be with one of her family members again in hiding, even if it is his fault she was captured in the first place.

@whalekeeper

my apologies, if you make the earlier chapters available then I will read them 😋

Everything I’ve posted so far should be available in that last link I posted (I just did the link for the chapter a little differently when I was asking for ideas to end it). If you click on Contents in the top left corner, you should get a list of all…[Read more]

@theshadow

I agree with what @raxforge said and would like to add to it.

Not only does God glorify himself through all that he does, he works all things to the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). So Satan also exists for our good.

Put it this way. Another question people ask is ‘Why does God allow sin to exist?’ or ‘Why did God create us…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I may be TOTALLY off on this, but i feel like you yourself have not gotten into Eric an tried being him. If that makes sense.

This is kind of a funny and ironic thing to say. Of all my characters, I was not expecting you to say this about Eric. Confession time. Most of my characters are me in some way. Alan is my worries, guilt,…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

A teenage elder does seem wrong. Looking at the qualifications for an Elder in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9, they don’t explicitly state any age, and I can see you’ve been setting up Joseph to meet the requirements listed here, but they do seem to require someone who is mature. I don’t think it would be right to trust a…[Read more]