Linus Smallprint

Except maybe the slave part. It dosen’t feel odd that all the slaves are men, even if there could be, and have been female slaves.

@ellette-giselle

This is a big step for me! I used to only write people my own age or eighteen. Eighteen was the magic year that was always perfect to write. 😂

I know. I like to write characters that are that age as well. Alan, Martha, Eric, James, and Tyn are all not too far from that (Oliver’s a few years older).

Just in the setting you have,…[Read more]

@keilah-h

But that makes me think. Maybe there should be other books set in this universe besides the Narrow Path trilogy. You have an equivalent to all the continents, and species to inhabit them, but TNP only focuses on New Sahvanna for obvious reasons, and we only really get to see the lyens’ culture (unless the third book has them traveling t…

[Read more]

@whalekeeper

And also, nice drawing! I now understand. XD I thought she was a lot less humanoid.

Thank you! Kentor are the most human of all the non-human races. I have a reason for this in the lore, but may not explore it in this series. Hint: it has to do with Kunulfs, the other species native to the area, being more animal than normal.

With…

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@hybridlore

Sorry, I meant to say below.

So if I’m understanding what you’re saying, with the way code works, a possible explanation for the mysterious box is that someone accidentally deleted the part of the code that told the page to ignore it?

Yes, basically. Think of it like a green traffic light saying go (–>), but the traffic lights nev…[Read more]

@keilah-h @theducktator @ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper

Chapter the 4th is out!

@keilah-h

Thank you!

by the way, will we ever see more gorbs? I kinda miss your humorous Australian lizard people.

Not likely. Don’t forget that gorbs are enemies of the lyens, so to find one in a lyen country, like Oliver, is rare.

@ellette-giselle

Don’t have too much to say for this section. It was fine.

Just one thing:

Well, Hans is nineteen.

It feels like 90% of your characters are males between 16 and 30. Yes, there have been exceptions, but everywhere they go, they run into eager young men. It might be nicer to see some more variety in characters, even if older men…[Read more]

Oh, it actually imbedded the thing in the page. Interesting. Click on the 0.5 so that the warning on the top doesn’t bloke the code, or click on the box symbol in the top right to take you to the page itself.

@hybridlore

This isn’t perfect, but here is something that may be similar to Cole’s test. I made it with some basic HTML code, Javascript for functionality, and Bootstrap for styling. I can’t do everything in here, for example, this form isn’t actually sending the information you enter in it anywhere and…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Thank you for your feedback. The first thing you mentioned about Tyn not wanting to see Alan fail is a good point. In Book I, she did look up to him and seeing him resist magic for so long was hope she could overcome her instincts. But when he failed and returned to magic, she began to lose hope, which is why she refused to help…[Read more]

@theducktator

There is always Alaska.

@keilah-h

Most of your questions will be answered in the next section. Thank you for your feedback!

@whalekeeper

Here is my explanation for Tyn’s behaviour. I don’t know how well you will be able to read this, so let me know if you need me to clarify anything:

What I forgot to mention here is that one of Tyn’s biggest fears is being controlled. Cyrus turns her against Alan, and she doesn’t want to admit it, so she is trying to justify it.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @theducktator @keilah-h @stephie

Chapter 3 is out!

@whalekeeper

Yes! The weather rock! My dad wants to put up one someday.

@theshadow

“Maybe this corner is a dead end.” Jack remarked, turning round. He started, taking a double look. “Uh, the path behind us is gone.”

Hard to follow the rule of staying on the path when the path itself won’t cooperate.

Olivia turned round, and, with the force of a wave on a stormy day, slapped Adaline.

Nice!

“How do you intend on gettin…

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@ellette-giselle

yeah, thanks for stating the obvious. 😂

It’s a skill of mine.

Does that mean it was good or bad?

I’m not sure. I haven’t put much thought into weather bribing is good or bad. All I know, it that I don’t like being bribed, and if you try to bribe me, I will only grow more stubborn.

yeah. Why? (About Wolf)

That’s kinda cool. Though…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay. I’m back again. [Only about a month left of busy school days and awkward schedules.] I should hopefully have more time next week. Now I have to remember which sections I haven’t given you feedback on.

I think the first one was when Leon and Rolf are reunited.

I think the change in point of view works there.

Conrad covered…

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@ellette-giselle

Got another busy start to this week, so I won’t be able to give you feedback until later. Sorry.