Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle

sounds good. Again, it’s your book. But, for me the spell images being described or not would be the difference between me putting down the series at this book or continuing if I had bought the book or checked it out in their library.

Gochya.

haha! That’s a good one to watch movies with always. No, Clear Play. 

Ah. Yeah, that’s useful.

@ellette-giselle

Hmm. well, first of all the fact that the church has stopped being attacked. Then a reference Sabina made in her letter about the soldiers being super tense. Then Joseph notices the same thing.

Ah…

I know poor Joseph!!! I’m really glad he went and talked to Mr. Caddick about it instead of just spending a good chunk of the book w…

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@keilah-h

What I meant by “breaks immersion” is that I didn’t really want to pay attention to the spells. They have no use to me. They’re deeply evil in Alan’s world and useless in mine, so what reason do I have for needing them in my memory?

Makes sence.

Also the Tyn-Oliver fight was a little confusing to me after Alan’s muddled spell mind, so I…

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@ellette-giselle

You can’t separate spell casting from demonic power. The Bible makes that clear. So, if wyou want the spell casting, your going to have to keep the other part in mind. 

Okay. I might have to rework things then, but that’s okay. I’ve talked to my sister, who knows more of my plans for book 2 about this, and she does agree that th…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

I forgot about this chat.

But hey, I finally get to write the next part of my story!

John was fed up with being stuck on the island, so he decided it was time to do something about it.

“Mother, can we please depart from this snowless island?”

His mother was tying some logs together. “John, how many times must I tell you,…

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@ellette-giselle

Joseph grinned. “I grew up with Asher and Eric. I’m pretty hard to annoy.”

Hmm. I wounder how true this will turn out to be.

“Let me put it plainly,” the Innkeeper said, tersely. “A young man on the wrong end of the Empire comes into town. He’s got no money, no family, no connections. He meets a pretty— and rather naïve— girl who…

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@ellette-giselle

That makes you uncomfortable? Just saying a guy wants to give the girl he loves a hug?

It wasn’t that. I don’t have any problem with unmarried people hugging or holding hands, unless it does become a temptation to sin. It was because of the implied temptation that I felt uncomfortable.

However, I want the reader to see that…

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@stephie @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow

I know I told the others I would wait until the end of this draft before I discussed if the way I included magic in the last chapter went too far, but in the mean time, I would love to here your thoughts on the matter.

@keilah-h

No comment on Alan fighting Tyn and Oliver? I thought for sure you would protest about that. You kept on saying you were hopping Oliver wouldn’t betray Alan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgTEJ9xdILI (Strong determination. One of my favorite video game songs. But this only works when Alan kicks the door down. [Also, though I love the soundtrack, I don’t agree with the story of this game and would not play it.)

@ellette-giselle

As for the chapter itself. There was the part where Alan casts all those spells on himself and the stag. However, we were told that all memory of spells was erased from his mind. Plus, spells for killing bugs wouldn’t involve night vision, speed, strength, taming, etc. So, he would have had to look them up in the book, which was f…

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@whalekeeper

They paint a clear connection between magic and animals, making them a power source to control,

You’re on to me. But did you notice there was one spell that included no animals?

@ellette-giselle

The spells. Why do we need to know the images?

I sincerely hope none of this offended you. If it came across as harsh or mean, that is not my intent. This is (as you can probably guess) something I feel strongly about.

@whalekeeper

I for one thought the spell images were well done…
And I think the images paint a good picture of w…

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At first, it had been hard for Joseph. So often he had reached for her hand, or opened an arm to loop about her waist, and had been forced to pull back sharply. He wondered if she noticed and hoped she hadn’t. He couldn’t know that she had the same struggle and would have liked nothing better than to lean against him and rest in the pro…

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@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow @whalekeeper

Darkness falls…

Chapter the 30th – The Prison

@ellette-giselle

or you could have some sort of wicked lightning scar that goes up his back and twists around one or both of his shoulders.

That’s not quite how wizard scars work. I’m still figuring things out, but whenever someone uses magic, his body is attacked. The crystal he is connected to ‘heals’ him, drawing information form both the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Must it be a hand or foot?

You got a better idea? Maybe he could have a scar around hie eye and match with the dude I posted a picture of in my previous post. He’s already got similar hair.

Who said I did bad things to my characters?!?

Hmmmm….

if it were one of the other I say the hand. Two reasons. One, it’s going to make it s…

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@ellette-giselle

You’ve never licked cuts as a kid?

Nope.

I knew it. I knew it. As I was posting that I was thinking, “grrr, Alcatraz ruined perfectly good expressions referring to shock and surprise.”

Yup.

@ellette-giselle @stephie @theducktator

(Not sure if Keilah has read everything yet, so I won’t tag her.)

Question. Since Alan is using magic again, he is going to get some more wizard scars. I’m trying to decide what to go with, and I have a couple of options I think would be interesting. Here they are:

1. Hand: His right hand will become like…

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