Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle

Rowan shook his head. “No, just any soldier younger than twenty-seven.”

I don’t know too much about war or armies, but I know enough to know that is a bad idea. Especially since it is the younger ones. That’s got to be more than half of his army! Is he trying to be the blood god? Yuck.

Good to see Rowan be saved and some hin…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

is that actually bad though? I haven’t done it often, and I don’t see much of another way to get that info across. Plus, I’ve used “as you know” sentences before in conversation just to help listeners make quick side connections so they can focus on the main line of thought. Idk.

Well the problem is that it is kind of weird. It…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

There were from some far-off country— we don’t have knights here.

They, not there.

Also, this is ‘As you know’ dialogue. Leon is telling Julian something he already knows in order to inform the reader.

“And then I put it on. There was a helmet that completely covered my face so that no one could ever recognize me or tell…

[Read more]

@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Chapter 30 out!

@keilah-h

is it bad that I can perfectly read that as “potato” now that I know the context?? lol

Yes. But not because of you. It’s because of our weird language where noses run and feet smell and the inconsistent way we spell things.

@ellette-giselle

So they are captured now. Well, it was only a matter of time…

“Lord, help us top trust you,”

To trust.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m a little nervous,” Leon replied. “I don’t know what they’re going to decide, and everything seems so confusing. I was ready to give my life for Christ, yet now it seems that has been thrown aside…

[Read more]

Help! My brain hurts! It cannot accept this!

@ellette-giselle

I have to to the American dollar, but now I need to do more math.

Can’t you just use an online USD to CAD converter?

Okay, about $689.23 in Canadian dollars…. if I did that right.

Ah. Thank you.

Oh right. Julian and Leon do just about everything together, so sometimes I forget that they aren’t always meeting the same people. &#x…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

25 gold pieces

That’s a lot of money.

Equivalent in the Canadian dollar please.

Julian should be happy since he was complaining that he wasn’t worth more earlier.

That’s enough to buy a pair of fine horses of a good piece of land.

Okay. That helps.

“The Empire killed my brother, that is why we ran,” Julian added.

I would expect…[Read more]

@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Chapter 29!

@ellette-giselle

I guess I doesn’t really matter anyway. It’s just something that throws me off, but after you get into the story, its clear who you are talking about.

@ellette-giselle

still very confused…. Washing soap?

With more soap, of course.

I guess I wasn’t washing the soap directly, but at the store I work at, we sell unpack aged bars of different soaps. Bits of them chip off and it can get really messy, so one in a while we have to clean that and the building dust out of there and reorganize the soap b…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

what?!

Like I said, yesterday was ironic.

Anyways. History lesson.

Aggressive people do not mix with stallions.

Okay, those explanations make sense.

I guess I refer to Daniel’s friends that way because that’s the way I always do in my mind. They are actually refereed to more in that way then by their Babylonian names, It’s just…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Congratulations on your graduation!

I was gonna give people a chance to catch up

Sorry, it was a busy weekend and yesterday was rather ironic. It was a holiday yesterday, so I had to work for most of it and I spent at least an hour cleaning soap. Who thought that soap needed to be cleaned? Anyway, I’ll get into the feedback…[Read more]

@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Chapter 28 out!

@ellette-giselle

My dad actually hasn’t read these ones yet. It’s more the word “sermon” that’s a knee-jerk reaction and less the actual content. I’m completely behind what I write, it’s just more the idea of “writing a sermon”. If that makes sense…….

Got it.

That depends on the word. In this case, this name is said V-ī-ss. Like vice. In fact, th…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Okay, here’s a question for y’all.

No. You’re fine to keep it in. Instead of feeling like it something I needed to get over for the next part, this felt more like setting the stage for the climax.

(I cringe when y’all say sermon because I’m a woman and I wrote it. But I guess Julian is a guy. 🤣)

Do you ever get your dad to look ov…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

A moment later, he drew it out. It was a dark crossbow bolt.

Interesting the church Leon talked about the war of Faith is the one that fell apart the most, but I guess they are in the capital where the most danger is.

Julian’s sermon is fine, but I think he needs to remind them more of what they are fighting for. What the reward…[Read more]

@keilah-h

yeah, it’s just a first draft, those are never, ever perfect. Some can get close to how the end story is, but there’s inevitably gonna have to be at least one scene you cut, one set of dialogue you rework, one characters whose role changes, etc.

Thanks, Keilah!

@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Chapter 27 out!

This chapter took an unexpected direction. I never thought I would be writing that sort of thing. *shivers* But then again, Andrew Perterson had something like it in his first Wingfeather book.