Koshka

@linus-smallprint

Love the wolf drawing. I’m getting if the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood was good kinda vibes. Good job!

@koshka

Rax and Ben

Rax found Syph’s terminology quite amusing, he smiled. “Ready? Three, two, one.” Rax hoisted Syph onto his shoulder with ease. “How does it feel up there?” Rax smiled up at the blue man/person/thing that Rax didn’t know.

@linus-smallprint

I thought you were being serious until I saw that they were changed 🤣

I think I like the Not Literal Version, lol

@ellette-giselle

Sometimes love is dunderheaded!”

*gagging at the reference*…

@the_lost-journal

I take German! I invented the quote myself! 😂

Neat! I wanted to learn German for a while…and still do.

@savannah_grace2009

I’m glad it helped! I knew a lot of it was randomness, but when I can look at my difficulty in a new light, everything can start to click. Randomness that really doesn’t fit is typically what I use like. XD

I was trying to imply with that part, how Neveah’s heart broke for Sef. Putting myself in Neveah’s shoes, nothing wou…

[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

And it feels like I’m going in circles. XD

If “you’re unloveable” is a side of her ‘shard of glass’, then maybe “your hopeless,” “you’re alone,” “your too far gone,” etc.

@savannah_grace2009

Wow. That’s dark. Pretty good story-wise, though. I’ll just go on a rabbit trail of plotting and hope it gives ideas. XD

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s…[Read more]

Ok! I read it. It’s good. They seem very inexperienced/in over their heads, but they’re handling it with humor so it’s funny. XD

Although the wolves were scary. O.O XD

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ok. I am in the middle of section 2. I’ll go back and finish it. I’m just so… amazed.

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That? XD I’m sorry, it’s just something I remember from a visiting missionary. You rarely if ever start off saying “the gods are false.” Telling people everything they believe is a lie will typically…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I like Rasins. Good for Leon and Julian not rejecting them.

why would anyone reject raisins!!??

Hmm. They’ve been away for about ten years, so things are going to feel very different to them. I can try to add a coming home feel.

Yes, they’ve had a wild day, and it’s just getting started.

Interesting. Both the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo, lies. XD if I remember right, they want to start with little lies (because they’re more believable) and then work toward bigger lies with more power. So here are some ideas for chains of lies.

“You should be able to be strong enough on your own” (so when you falter, “you must be a failure” can follow)

“If God loved you,…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I looked it up. The wolf is adorable! But, does he have a name?

@linus-smallprint

did you see the newest sections?