Keilah H.

@rae

this was another good section. I feel like you’re really sinking into a good style and voice with this. I had a slight problem with one sentence though.

When Immanuel came, the laws God previously had placed changed.

I don’t see that in the Bible. If anything, the laws were reinforced more strongly. (You have heard it said do not commit adu…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Who is James? (I think I want him to be someone who is laid back and jokes around a lot, but occasionally has a moment where he shows surprising wisdom.

oh. That’s not at all how I pictured him.

idk if this is a good idea, but I pictured him as quieter and much more thoughtful. Someone who is constantly watching and l…[Read more]

@esther-c

It looks a lot better! One thing I noticed is that Antonio does say “fabuloso” twice.

“Then the topic conveniently comes up in a conversation with Easton.”

Also, I feel like this might be better if you just change it to “Then I can ask Easton” or something like that. Otherwise, it looks great! I like the way you made Hallie more rea…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

girl I need you to write that book!!!

MUST. HAVE. MORE. FANTASY.

🤭🤭🤭

@esther-c

girllll

i love thissss

Keep writing ✨✨

*pops head in*

I’m so happy to see this forum still active and well🥹🥲

@kielah-h @ellette-giselle @raxforge @whalekeeper @hybridlore

This is the final part of Story 9.

In my writing document, I named this story temporarily as ‘Delirium’ but I would like some better title ideas if you can give me some. Thx in advance.

Five days had passed since Baron had been taken to the Handel mansion and his symptoms…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awwww!!!

But in six months he’s moving to Florida for college…..😭😭

At least I have a little brother <333 I love him to DEATH…I literally love him so muchhhh

That is so funny that your MC is named Hallie because (I know I’ve told you this before but Imma say it again hahaha) my little sister’s name is Hallie!!! so it’s just…

[Read more]

@loopylin

Praying. 💛

“You look like a hot dog truck that crashed into a flower shop.” -my brother

@loopylin

Having a foggy sick brain sucks. Hope you get some rest and start feeling better soon! <3

Thanks. It’s lasted longer than I thought it would, but I’m feeling better now.

Ryla

“That wasn’t very nice of her.” Ryla glanced up and stumbled back. A blue…creature with four arms towered above her, staring disapprovingly after the rude girl.…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Sounds good!

@koshka

I know!! Poor kid. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry.🥺

Rory

Rory leaned against the wall and ran his arm over his forehead. “So, where are we going? Now that I’m your assistant, what should I do?”

(sorry, but Rory and I are equally lost on how to move forward. We don’t know much about the school’s underworld.)

@linus-smallprint

It looks good to me! (But I’m not a huge outliner as previously stated.)

so, does this mean you’re gonna start posting chapters?! 😃

@loopylin

I bet if i made Dante bored enough, he’d sneak into the school and pretend to be a student for the day. That would be fun.

lol

@loopylin

Alpha

Alpha shrugged. “She put a kid in the hospital, and thought she could take care of me too. So I stabbed her. And yes, I do often stab people.” Alpha paused, thinking about what he had just said, for the first time considering how his audience would take that information without context. “Though, it’s not just because I’m bored.…[Read more]

I could also probably use prayer for getting a job. Seems I’m not good at anything that gets you money lol. Nothing I try is really working out. I’m hoping to get a job within the next couple months so I’m not forced to move back in with my parents.

I know I don’t respond much on here, but I am still praying for yall when I see posts. <3

@rae

Dante

For probably the tenth time since they first met, Dante was thankful that Alpha seemed to consider him a friend, or at least someone who wasn’t a threat.

He laughed nervously. “Uhh, no. I haven’t heard anything. Do you… normally go around stabbing people in the gut? I mean, I get the boredom thing, but there are less bloody ways to…[Read more]

@keilah-h

will you post the doc on here when you’re finished, or no?

Oh whoops I didn’t plan that far ahead. Probably?

@whalekeeper What do you think? Pretty sure your email is visible on there as well as mine.