Janellebelovedpig

@linus-smallprint

I thought he might want to turn back and no longer continue with them at this point, seeing this as a sign to return to his village and be with Liesle (if I spelled that right). But he seems determined to keep going for the moment.

Yeah, Roland’s pretty stubborn.

Julian is sounding a bit like a mother here. (I’m not sure i…

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@linus-smallprint

I thought so.

A lot happened in that last section that I was hoping on feedback for, so it was surprising when you didn’t say anything. XD

@liberty

Would you be okay with me moving on? I don’t need you to give instant feedback if you’re unable to keep up.

If you really need me to wait a day though then I can.

@linus-smallprint

Hmm, okay. Well that’s odd.

Okay, so you have reached the point where Roland is injured.

No thoughts on the assassination attempt?

idk what I ended up saying.

Okay…. let me go look.

Thanks for the feedback! I’m glad the characters are becoming more alive! Hybridlore would disagree with you on not having all of…[Read more]

Esther, I also think it’s so cool how you write about small everyday struggles. It’s hard to find beauty in the mundane, when it seems the same day after day.

But in your writing, you can make even the everyday struggles, the repeating tasks beautiful, and everything you write has a message, and I think it’s so cool!!!! And I know God will use you <33

@esther-c

Awww! Esther!!! That means literally so so SO much to me!!

I appreciate you so much, you’re amazing 🥺🥺💜💜💜💜

I never really thought about it that way!! But that makes a lot of sense!!

Honestly I’ve struggled a lot with the way that I just go to the hard things that need to be talked about…people like my parents have said that my…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

That’s amazing!!! That’s so cool!!!! Wow! I LOVE how you draw scenes like that!

YOU MUST keep that in the book if you publish with illustrations.

@liberty

Okay…. I could wait I day.

@keilah-h

Glad you found that interesting!!

@linus-smallprint

Have you read the latest section I posted yesterday? I couldn’t tell from the feedback how far you still were. (trying to figure out how long I need to pause.)

It also reminds me how God uses the same talents of different people for different purposes. For example, you tend to gravitate towards darker themes (not in a bad way!) and deal with difficult topics that need to be dealt with and seen in the light of God’s love. On the other hand, I tend to focus on the smaller, everyday struggles I personally f…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Sara Sara Sara Sara Sara Sara….

Girl this is literally so good and I wish I had gotten to it sooner!!!

I can tell you poured your heart into this and can see it on every page. I’m so glad you decided to go on with this. It has already impacted me in little ways in the short time I read it and I know God will use it to imp…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Yes, I got it.

Not sure if you got my reply….

@koshka

My warning wouldn’t be that it’s dark or violent, but that you don’t want to even accidentally imply it’s okay. You don’t want to give your reader an idea, or thought pattern they didn’t have, but you do want to reach for a kid who’s been there, or is there, and needs that lifeline. That they are loved, that they can make it with God’s he…

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@keilah-h

Arcane and Alder are good name switches! I like them. Also, are you going to keep the Payne and Pythonos references? I think you should; when you publish your book people will be like “oh, this is an expansion on that universe.”

I think I will keep the Payne/Pythonos. I agree, it would be cool!!!!

Thanks, they fit really well and I lik…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Not sure. It’s been going on ever since they hit the new town.

Maybe page 14?

I’ll have to look if you can’t find it.

@keilah-h

I don’t know if that’ll be helpful (if you mean drafting for war). You can’t exactly change your author name to a man’s….and even if you did, they’d probably try to draft “him” lol.

Oh not to a man’s! Just not my name so that I’ll be untrackable. An alias.

lso, your recent chapters were great! It’s good to see that more and more of…

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@hybridlore

Yeah, I did get a feeling he didn’t love what he was doing when he was talking with Cole.

Hey, that is the best way to write. Keep at it!

@hybridlore

It’s true! The way you write… I can see it all clearly in my mind! It really IS like a movie!

So… was it obvious before this chapter what Alec did for his job?

I knew he did something with technology and people, and I knew he worked with the government. This didn’t come as a surprise to me at all. It was good.

@hybridlore

GIRL!

How do you do it?!?!

I am so hooked! OH MY WORD! I want this made into a MOVIE!!

Wow! This is so cool. I’m worried about Everett! I hope he makes it out of this one okay. What I wouldn’t give to be in his head as he reads through all those questions!!

AND ALEC!!! Oh my word! This is great!!

@hybridlore

Thank you so much!!!!

I fixed the spelling!! Thanks for catching that XD
I appreciate you so so SO much, girl <3

@koshka @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @theducktator @keilah-h @theshadow @anyone-else

Thank you everyone for your comments on the doc!!

The reason I haven’t added anything new is because I moved it all to Reedsy. Reedsy will professionally typeset it all, and have a more professional look to it, and I like Reedsy better for writing.

The point of…[Read more]