introvert_girl

@livgiordano  You’re torturing me!!!!

They should make the giving of spoilers a violation of the forum rules.  It causes too much trauma.

😀 😀

@skredder Looks much better now!  The sentence you used as an explanation for Casse does it’s duty, but is a bit ungrammatical…And I missed one of the POV changes which can be fixed if you just change two words.

If you check the document one more time you’ll see a couple of new comments.  Other than those, I think it’s great!  Can’t wait to re…[Read more]

@daeus Actually, after reading everyone else’s answers I want to clarify.  I already have self-published seven books and am in the process of publishing another.  I have very good reviews from several of the many purchasers of my first six books. (I’ve sold over a hundred books.)  So, though as @clairec said, writing is more of a hobby for me th…[Read more]

@livgiordano OH NO!!!! I haven’t finished the last book yet!!! Is that a spoiler?  *screams* *bursts into tears* What am I going to do if Edmund dies?  Please tell me that doesn’t happen!

Okay, @skredder I’ve made a few comments indicating where you changed POVs.

I have a couple more comments to make.  One is that you usually capitalize “Prince” even when you’re not using it as a noun but as an adjective.  The only time I’ve seen “prince” capitalized except as a name like “Prince John” is when the writer is speaking about the “…[Read more]

@skredder Yes, it works!  I’ll make a few comments.

@salome01w4g Praying!  What time zone are you meaning when you say 5 pm?

@sarah-anson Wow!  Those names are really cool!  I especially like the names Laria and Efren.

@warrenluther04 There are a lot of people here (including myself) who jump at the chance to beta-read.  Part of that reason is we all love the chance to read a free story! 🙂

Since I rarely read fantasy and am quite uncomfortable with magic, I might instead just tag people to read your story, but you’ll definitely be able to find several willing…[Read more]

@skredder There are a couple places where it’s better, but there’s still quite a bit of “head-hopping” going on. Sorry.  🙂  Would you be able to post it in an “edit” link so that I could comment on the places where it changes POV?  That would be a lot easier than trying to explain it all here on the forum.

Oh, I just want to say that reading ab…[Read more]

@salome01w4g No big brothers?  Aww.  I’ve got three, and my oldest brother is just as protective and caring as Dev!  Do you have any siblings at all?

I felt really cheated at the end of the fifth book when we didn’t get the scene where Tully told Mikkel he actually wasn’t marrying Bree.  Mikkel must have been so relieved!

I liked the twins pre…[Read more]

@daeus Absolutely. One of my goals is to become published. And I am vigorously trying to get contracted before college.

…Oh, I see why you didn’t tag me.  It’s because I said it wasn’t the most important thing to me, and so the second question doesn’t really apply. 😀

@daeus

@ashlyvye I actually like the lighter side of The Flash – reason for why I don’t like the third season. 😀  But I’ve heard of at least two evil speedsters doing the hand-vibration-murder thing.  What I like about The Flash is the swagger of the hero, the closeness of the team, and the jokes and “right is might” message.

I like a lot of the old…[Read more]

@daeus Did I answer wrong? 😀

@jenwriter17 I just finished reading Alex and Brett Harris’s book, but I’m not reading at the moment…

@warrenluther04 😀 the Inheritance cycle is awesome! For awhile, it was my favorite fantasy series. Eragon itself I like because of the epic quest feel and the intricate magic system

@salome01w4g Ohhh, you read The Boy Colonel?!! It’s wonderful!  Do you really like Nobody better than Edmund?  I don’t know which one I like better, except you get to know Nobody better since he’s the protagonist.

I re-read the Viking Quest series all the time.  I feel so sorry for Mikkel when Dev tells him to stay away from Bree. 🙁  Beca…[Read more]

@daeus To answer your first question… yes, or at least to impact those who come across my stories.

And to answer your second: Also yes, that’s my goal…

@ariella-newheart Looks like you’ve already gotten quite bit of advice, but I would say that probably, 30 characters is too many.

That’s not to say it can’t be done- if the story is an expansive epic, it certainly can, but 30 is a lot for readers to try to keep track of.

It also depends on how much time these characters get- if they’re mostly…[Read more]

@ashlyvye Cool! Hmm, Well I like to draw, and journal, and carve stamps.. Take care of my succulents.. cuddle with my cats and study my bible. When I’m not doing school or thinking about one of my stories i’m probably doing one of these things ^-^