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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
He’s going to try to answer that call for Church leaders that came from the town. The monumental things are how on earth he would even have a chance of getting out of the Capital with the lockdown. The minute he can get out, Joseph and whoever else would be off. So, to have the door open while he’s seventeen would be silly if he…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Why does he have to become an elder? I think (if I’m understanding this right) if the important things are happening while he is seventeen, that’s where you want to be. Maybe he can be a part of the inner core group of the church without being an elder, sort of getting mentored by everyone else.
However, you’re right. If all t…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Um, I want him to be redeemed. lol.
For this I want to see him reacting in shame. If this is a big deal, I need to see it as a big deal.
Like, what is the most shameful or embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? (Don’t actually answer that. lol) Think how it made you feel, and then put yourself in the woods with some…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Somebody help me!!!!!!! I’m going insane!!!!!!
Okay, not really, but I am stuck and I’m having one of those uninspiring days when words are just black spots on a white screen.
If that makes sense.
Ugh.
Okay, so I am going to do something very monumental in Joseph’s life………… except I’m stuck.
I d…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Ah, okay.
In that case, I don’t want to dig into it too much at the moment, since his character is going nowhere else in book 1, but I definitely am planning to deal with this in book 2. Maybe I will see if I can add a sense of shame into the end of that last chapter, but that will be it.
Where exactly are you hoping Eric’s…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
I normally do that, but this time I forgot. :/
Do you think it is okay to leave him like this, or should I put something else in to temporarily satisfy the reader?
I think we might be sim-understanding one another.
I don’t think Eric was ashamed ENOUGH. Like, the words on the paper said he was ashamed, but he didn’t feel…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, liv…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 7 hours ago
Ugh. It deleted my reply.
Try
Ctrl A
thenCtrl C
before you post your reply to save it to your clipboard in case it decides not to work. Then you don’t have to retype anything. (Make sure you are on the ‘Text’ tab of the text editor.)I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 9 hours ago
You can’t just steal all of them. Otherwise I won’t post anything else. Pic who you want and let the others go.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 9 hours ago
Probably. 🤔
Ehh, fine, you can take the rest of them. Just don’t do anything to Sabina or Joseph or Julian. 🤪
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 9 hours ago
On second thought, maybe I’ll leave Joseph alone and do bad things to Asher, Eric, Noah, Darrien, and OH! And SABINA!!!!!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 9 hours ago
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 10 hours ago
Remember?!? I STOLE Joseph. So you can’t kill him!!!!!
I will let you borrow him to finish writing/editing your book if you say you will be NICE to him. Otherwise, he’s my character now.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 10 hours ago
Ugh. It deleted my reply.
I liked this chapter a lot, though I have read most of it. lol.
I feel like you kinda brushed over the shame thing with Eric, and I’m hoping that’s because he’s too freaked out to think though what happened. I hope to see some more repercussion of that later on.
I like how Alan and Tyn dealt with…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 10 hours ago
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
Wouldn’t you like to know.
That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol
I know, right!
all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 days, 10 hours ago
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
Wouldn’t you like to know.
That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol
I know, right!
all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t…
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The Ducktator replied to the topic Animal RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 days, 22 hours ago
I’d join, though I won’t be on much for about 2 weeks, until co-op is over for the semester.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 days, 23 hours ago
@keilah-h The shading looks awesome! Did you draw that?
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 days, 3 hours ago
*gasp*!!!! You stole my book!!!!!!!! How dare you!!!
I dare. And I’ll do it to this one too! Ha ha!!! (Also, you are at 8 exclamation marks now. I think I have good grounds to be concerned.)
Oh my goodness! Did you just say “taking the train to school”!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!! I used to take trains a lot when I lived in Europe, but…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 days, 3 hours ago
@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow
Next chapter. This was getting a little long and I realized I didn’t have too much planned for chapter the 26th, so I decided to move the climax of the rescue into the next chapter. I should hopefully get that to you by the end of this week.
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