Faith Kindred

Oh! Okay, yes, that’s hilarious! Maybe just insert a little explanation like that into the story, otherwise it totally goes over the reader’s head. 🙂

@kate-flournoy – How could I forget a description of Savanna? Especially her eyes!!! I’ll add that to the story for sure.
I’ll have a look and see if there is another way to say that line.
With the debit card it’s a bit of a joke in our family. When you get charged you have to pay. So when a rhino charges you (money) you pay him. Does that make a…[Read more]

What @Daeus said. 🙂

One line I really liked was

He is my Shepard, my Rock and my Song.

It’s beautiful. 🙂

What @Daeus said. 🙂

One line I really liked was

He is my Shepard, my Rock and my Song.

Hey, I like this! I love the quirky, matter-of-fact narrator voice and the concise, efficiently steady pace.

Only a few things— this line

and spoke a brief conversation in Swahili

is a little odd. I think it’s just the ‘spoke a brief conversation’. Is there another way to say this?
Also, I would have liked a description of Savanna…[Read more]

@kate-flournoy – your link worked and the story is posted for all who wish to read it. Please feel free to critique it too. (I looooove criticism) 😛

@rolena-hatfield

My analysis is that this is a really good poem that just needs to loose a little weight. You see, with poetry, you write phrases based on flow, not how you are used to hearing them. I figure the best way to explain this is just to show you what I would take off.

God is gracious, He is kind.
He keeps my heart and guards my…[Read more]

At the very least I’d be painfully aware of how much more capably my brother could handle the situation if he were here.

Yes, you oldest children have no idea… 😉 😛

hmm, well you have an older sibling and I don’t and I am also independently minded so perhaps I am assuming too much.

Hm, for some reason my link didn’t work. I’ll try it again. short story forum

Let’s see if that works. :/

Yes, post it, @bluejay! There’s a for short stories here. 🙂

Well obviously it depends on their relationship… but for my part, if I had an older brother whom I really, really admired and looked up to, that’s what I’d ask myself, especially if I wasn’t very experienced myself.

For my part, I very much doubt my brother would ever ask what I would do in his circumstances.

Really depends on his personality and the circumstances, I would think.
I mean, was the danger of this happening obvious before? Was he fearing this would happen? Or was this a total bolt out of the blue for him? And how was the message delivered? Gently, or someone unsympathetically bursting it on him?
I’m not sure if you do the MBTI for your…[Read more]

@ivy-rose Holy smokes, the different sides of the state really do make quite a difference in temps. We’re just hanging out around 30 degrees in the daytime right now and dipping down in the 10s at night. 😛

@blue-jay That would be just fine with me! It would probably help to see in the context of the full story. 🙂 If you think it’s too long, you…[Read more]

How about something like:

Life is full of dangers, but they shouldn’t stop us from living it to the full.

Although some of the other ideas which have been given are probably better than mine. 🙂

@Ivy-Rose – It would be that in America. So when it is 30 degrees in Australia is would be like 86 in America. So because it is 5 degrees where you are is would be -15 for me. (Boy, I’m glad I’m in Aus) And yes, yes yes…why don’t you come to Australia? 😛 Just fly over and have the best holiday of your life, sweating out here, swatting flies,…[Read more]

Hi Tessa! Nice to meet you! Your story sounds very interesting. I am a sucker for anything that has to do with rescuing animals. 🙂

Oh my…it’s 86 degrees in Australia? Can I please come visit? 🙂 I am freezing my toes off here in Eastern Washington (State). It’s a balmy 5 degrees outside right now. BRRRRRR!!!

Glad to have you here on the forum!