Faith

@lydibug I’m glad you like them! 😊

@euodia-vision ok! I’ll wait about another day for them to respond

@thearcaneaxiom

That’s fair. If it feels natural to you, than I’d say leave it, as long as it isn’t creating weird jarring breaks that throw the reader out of the story, which I don’t think it is, except for here:

You’re telling me.

Where I had to pause for a moment and reread it. I’m still not sure if I understand this line 😂…[Read more]

It looks like a unicorn tail to me, but probably not to other people. Also, the green is on their backs, necks, backs of their arms and hands, and on their noses.

And here’s what the tail looks like 

@calyhuge

Hey you’re back!

Also, I can’t banish the image of little green martian girls with brown hair and sparkly unicorn tails from my mind. It hurts. Help.

Lol yeah idk why I keep giving terrible descriptions of my characters when I can just

@thearcaneaxiom

Sure. Let’s see…here, I found this paragraph especially confusing:

You’re telling me. I had more questions, but held my tongue because Thing’s current track record hasn’t been the most helpful for answering them, other than explaining my inability to eat.

And there were a couple other spots where it switches to present tense lik…[Read more]

@calyhuge @euodia-vision @freedomwriter76

Would one of you guys like to go in the snack thieves group, or would you like me to?

@lydibug

Oh I love lynxes! She sounds pretty.

Eddie 

“No…”

The three girls had now turned together and were now following the crowd of students towards the main doors of the school. Eddie had to speak louder to be heard over the chattering around them, which wasn’t a problem for her.

“But I’d love to learn electric guitar. Or drums maybe.…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Just popping in, I know I haven’t been very active on here…

Is 6 MC’s too many, or should I stick with my original 5?

It really depends. If Liv is going to be important enough to be an MC and if you can make each of their viewpoints interesting and make every character unique, I’d say go for it. I know GodlyFantasy has, li…[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom

(Uhhh, has anyone noticed that @sarafini has vanished? All her past posts say anonymous now… Did she just leave?)

I didn’t notice that before, but I went back and looked, and yeah. I guess she’s not on the forum anymore?

Great chapter! The bounce between present and past tense was very confusing, though. Were the parts in p…[Read more]

*materializes out of nowhere*

@whalekeeper

Ik this is a bit off-topic from what you guys are talking about but seriously, I just watched Guardians of the Galaxy Volume III – and it is the best and no one can take Rocket away from me, he is KING

YES. That movie was the BEST. I think a lot of my space comic is inspired by it. And I love Rocket so m…[Read more]

@lydibug

Lol I just realized that Chloe was the one who threw the shoe during the fight XD   I think that was my favorite part of that whole scene.

Also, btw, the girls are really short. Like hobbit sized (3 feet).

What does Chloe look like?

Eddie 

Ed’s eyes sparkled. “Dress shopping? Everyone??”

She turned halfway around, tail whippin…[Read more]

There! Finally! It posted!

Part 3:

However, I think the reveal would be a lot more powerful if you set us up for it earlier on in the chapter. I didn’t know before hand that he always had his helmet on. I kinda just imagined him as a normal dude with a normal human face. I think including a description of him, his outfit, and especially his helmet, and then mentioning t…[Read more]

Part 2:

Those eyes had looked straight into his own, those black pupils, red irises and… red sclerae. How could someone of man and elven lineage have such eyes?

This is a really cool reveal that I did not see coming. Now Nahim has suddenly become a lot more interesting and I’m excited to learn more about him.

Ughhh the part 2 won’t post

Part 2:

Those eyes had looked straight into his own, those black pupils, red irises and… red sclerae. How could someone of man and elven lineage have such eyes?

This is a really cool reveal that I did not see coming. Now Nahim has suddenly become a lot more interesting and I’m excited to learn more about him.

However, I think the reveal wou…[Read more]

@rae

Um this post isn’t working so I’m going to send it in two parts to see if that helps.

Part 1:

I’m still only halfway through chapter two. Haven’t really found the time to read the whole thing though. But anyway here’s some thoughts:

This chapter is a lot easier to read for me since it’s no longer in italics and I hope you keep writing it…[Read more]

@rea

I’m still only halfway through chapter two. Haven’t really found the time to read the whole thing though. But anyway here’s some thoughts:

This chapter is a lot easier to read for me since it’s no longer in italics and I hope you keep writing it that way. There’s obviously nothing wrong with using italics. It kinda looks cooler, actually.…[Read more]