Esther

@trailblazer @esther-c @acancello @keilah-h @jonas @savannah_grace2009 @highscribeofaetherium @anyone I missed

I just got a cool short story idea but wanted to run it by all of you, what if I did a story starring who but Fennin?

The theme would be “you can’t do it all on your own” since, if you haven’t noticed, Fennin likes taking on a lot of…[Read more]

@everyone @highscribeofaetherium @rae @savannah_grace2009 @keilah-h @esther-c @acancello @trailblazer

Who is going to add a villain? (I know some of you have already said you aren’t, but I can’t remind who.) we kind of need to know before anyone RPs in this scene, since they’re all arriving at once.

@freedomwriter76

Cool! We’ll see what @esther-c wants to do!

awww, he’s so sweet with all of this. Hasn’t had experience and doesn’t know what to doo 💕

Riya

“I’m good with shopping if you want, but I-I don’t have much money…” Bucky replied, his cheeks holding a slight tint of red.

Riya smiled.

He was so sweet and kind.

“I don’t e…[Read more]

@trailblazer

@esther-c has a character in this scene too.

@freedomwriter76

AH sorry I haven’t rped yet!

(oh also, just a thought, but if Clint and @esther-c ‘s Amidala are going together they could all hang out?)

Riya

Bucky gave her a soft smile, “Yeah, I think they’re coming…I could call them. I don’t think most of them are going as pairs, more like a friend group, but y-yeah, they could come with u…[Read more]

@esther-c

Thanks for sharing!

(also, everyone shared such great advice for your questions earlier, I don’t have anything else to add!)

@esther-c

*points above*

@esther-c

Ooo!! I’ll have to check it out!!

@esther-c

That’s so cool! That would be fun!

@esther-c

Woah, I will check that out!

@esther-c

I’m glad I was able to help!

@esther-c

Hmm… the overcoming problems too easily really could be a problem. Something that I think would help is making the problems in general take up more space. A characters struggle should snowball as a result of their own bad choices, which reflect their major flaw they hope to overcome. The general problem should not come up quickly…[Read more]

@esther-c

Woops, sorry, that got posted to soon.

Anyways, as I was saying, I like it and you can tell Ami is good friends with Ev.

I don’t think you need an action opening, this introduces your characters nicely and captured me, which is what you want in a first chapter. From my gleaning of info on fist chapters, you want one, above all,…[Read more]

@esther-c

I like it. At some parts it made me laugh, and you definitely portrayed a healthy family (something I never say no to in books) and with the part about the donut and Ev…I was thinking how I would like my crush to do that! XD even though I’ve never had a donut before in my life, and am most likely allergic to it, I would eat it just…[Read more]

@esther-c

Ok! If you do wanna read the chapter, I posted it like two posts above this one.

Ooo, great!! I read it just now, and I don’t think it’s information-dumping at all!

Oh yeah, ok. That’s true. Sometimes I feel like there’s a lot of writers saying to have some kind of action in the first chapter, and others saying that you just need to sho…

[Read more]

@esther-c

I read the chapter, and I think I see what you mean.

I wouldn’t say that your problem is the lack of action. I think the way you opened with the painting scene is a great introduction. It introduces Ami’s character, how she’s artistic, what she values, what kind of person she is. So it definitely doesn’t need more action. The way you…[Read more]

@esther-c

I don’t want to make a whole other topic for this, so I’m posting my question(s) here. XD

lol XD

It is hard to say much without knowing much of your book, but I do agree with what Sara said as far as openings…

I guess it depends on the reader, but personally, I like books that paint some of the picture in the first (and even seco…[Read more]

@esther-c

Ugh, sorry you’re going through that! That’s hard!

Could you maybe post some segments of it so I can see more of what you mean?

All I can say is that maybe you’re focusing a little too much on all the potential problems. (I’m speaking from experience) Sometimes you need a little break, or maybe you’re overthinking it. If its boring to…[Read more]

@esther-c

What’s the first paragraph of your book?

You’re being a little to ambiguous. I can’t answer your questions until I can glean more data.

Sorry I couldn’t really help. 🙁

@esther-c

Oof, those are hard questions. For the first one, I get what you mean. I think for the first chapter, an introduction is fine. Personally, I would try to focus on the relationship between Ami and Ev, and his family conflict, because I think that will hook the reader.
And then, themes are also really hard. Could you describe yours a…[Read more]