@ellette-giselle
Active 2 hours, 24 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1112
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Ack! Awkward romantic moments!
See the mettle armor?
I think you mean ‘metal’ here. Good to see armour thought, it always helps things feel more medieval.
So Aaron has managed to work his way up to the prince. I wonder where this will go, but I feel the prince may eventually become a Christian as well, though it could go the…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
You used “whipped” instead of “wiped”
Not the first time I’ve done that. Alan has had his memory whipped by before (which I guess means he was whipped until he forgot what he was supposed to? I don’t know), but as my friend said when he noticed that, “when there’s a whip, there’s a way.”
So, you have the next one?
I am going t…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow
Next chapter. As Ellette predicted, things start to get messy here.
Chapter the 10th: (https://editor.reedsy.com/s/T1bLc1N/c/ZqPt_58SO73q86vE/chapter-the-10th)
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle yeah flat characters are no fun lol.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
That’s all I have on that……..
Okay, thank you. That is helpful.
NICE! I will pester you if I do not wake up to the next chapter tomorrow.
Excellent!
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
I like how Sabina asks to be baptized without lots of people asking. I know the idea of being baptized in front of everyone scares some new believers, especially teens. I also like to see the variety of personalities in different characters as they become Christians.
Prediction: Something dangerous is just around the corner.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Phew! That’s a lot about horses. I think I will grab everything you said about them and save it in a document for future reference. In case you could not tell, Martha likes horses and would definitely know all of this, so in order to have her talk about it, I will need to know it. Thank you for typing this all out! Is this the…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle oooh this is so cool!! The only issue being that because of the fact that you have all the parts of the story scattered through the forum, it’s a bit hard for me to sift through all the replies. Is there a document you can put it all on so I can just read through the whole thing? It’s ok if not.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle Well I thought you’ve posted a couple stories on here, and I don’t know which one specifically Let There Be Light is, but yeah, I’d love it if you tagged me so I can read it!
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Well, I actually kinda got hesitant about sharing it because I might have lost confidence in it being any good at all…….. I felt like the whole point of the story was being lost because of the other places that I was falling short. Do you think that’s true?
I have more to submit if you want me to.
I think you should keep on shari…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
(You too, as long as he and I are both satisfied by the end. lol.)
Heh heh. I’ll try.
Oooo, I love the drawings! They do look a little wingfeatherish. They’re quite good.
Thank you!
Fairly well. What I’m getting is that the dear instict makes them run….. but why would it not do that to archers. I would think being an archer would…
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow @savannah_grace2009 (I know you are taking a break from Kingdome Pen, Sara, so I will just tag you this final time until you return)
Since Wyoh or whatever we are calling the creature that is currently devouring images is on the loose, I will share images of my characters through other…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Thank you for the detailed feedback! I has good grammers, eh?
spinach? Oh man, I am laughing so hard! I mean, what a way to start a story after that prologue! You have defiantly got me hooked, just because I can’t imagine where you are going with spinach! Haha! You obviously have a good sense of humor!
Ok, I’ll keep rea… -
Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Hmmm, so the girl is a soldier? I personally don’t like women in battle. It’s ugly. I have plenty more thoughts on that….. but i won’t make you listen to them. lol. This is more of a personal complaint/thought, not an edit.
Seems I have hit a controversial topic here. This is something that my brother has given me grie…[Read more]
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HighScribe replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months, 1 week ago
I think she tagged her in the ‘KP glitch problems’ topic.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle lol I understand why you don’t like women in battle (I imagine things can get rough for them), but uh, just a little disclaimer: A solid portion of the stories being written on here have some form of war, and many of them have both female and male characters fighting in them. I have a few myself. (But then again, my teams tend…[Read more]
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HighScribe replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months, 1 week ago
Kathleen is the only one who can help and Ducktator tagged her already. So now we must wait.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Let’s try this again. Had lots of glitching last time.
Great! Thank you! Yeah, like I mentioned before I’ve been reading through it! I’ve been taking notes, though I didn’t see the questions for readers. Are you interested in the notes I have so far?
Yes please, I would love to see your notes!
As to the questions I had earli…[Read more]
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HighScribe replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months, 1 week ago
I suppose…
But Cud isn’t frightening at all! It makes him sound like a cow!
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Here is my forum for TNPT. Please look back through it the questions I have for my readers. You mentioned you have some predictions. (“haha! I rock and guessing scenes! lolololol”) If you do, I would not mind hearing those as well, but #no-spoilers.
Just so you know, I am trying to post at least one chapter a week. I find…[Read more]
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