@ellette-giselle
Active 22 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1112
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
I disagree with Oliver. I think There is no excuse for doing evil.
Good. Don’t. Oliver may be friendly, but he is a bit of a worldly wiseman… er… wisegorb.
Oh because Martha’s father is the one who found the wizard in the woods, and the wizard was Alan’s father! It’s all making sense now! If I’m right………….
I can’t say now,…[Read more]
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calyhuge replied to the topic Help with a scene in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 months ago
I actually recently wrote a short scene somewhat like this, where a character’s arm got shot by a poison arrow and he had to have an amputation. Basically I did it from the amputee’s part until he blacked out and then from his bystanding friend’s standpoint. I definitely think you should go with @ellette-giselle ‘s idea, but to build on it…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle ooooh it’s getting intense!!
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Stephie replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
No, the formatting seems normal here.
As for dresses, I kinda hate ’em but that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned about being modest. No way. I wouldn’t wear none of that revealing nonsense a lotta kids these days wear if you gave me a thousand bucks.
Same here lol. Bring on the knee-length shorts.
I am very easily…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic Help with a scene in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 months ago
I second @ellette-giselle, but I would probably make the larger portion of it Mandin’s, and then a shorter scene/s from Nahim’s point of view. Being inside the mind of a character who’s depressed and delirious can be disorienting (wow, alliteration there lol.) Except if the rest of the book is from Nahim’s POV–then, it might be better just…[Read more]
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RAE replied to the topic Help with a scene in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 months ago
Probably should put some tags on this:
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @freed_and_redeemed @loopylin @calyhuge @linus-smallprint @theducktator @esther-c @grcr @lightoverdarkness6 @idk
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Stephie replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
Yeah, I really admire the way you stand up for what you believe. And I think it’s important to actually say what you think, because otherwise it’ll be partially your fault when those around you sin. I remember when I was on the other side of that, and the only thing which brought me back were people who weren’t afraid to call me…[Read more]
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MineralizedWritings replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
I hope you don’t mind me reading your conversation above lol
Man it sounds like you’ve had kind of a rough time in the past with sharing opinions ect. People on Kp are pretty good with not being ‘reactive’ if you know what I mean. Like when you’re talking abt politics and the other person starts raising their voice, cutting you…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle lol my parents want to know what it’s like to live in Europe for a month or two.
Only time will tell if we will ever actually do that.though.
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
My dad said that it’s the natural way for a guy to think, and he has to overcome that through God’s grace. Is it a bad scene? I can cut that thought if you think it would be better…….
Maybe just remove that one thought where he wonders what holding her hand will be like. I don’t have a problem with him thinking she looks pretty.…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow
Next chapter. I wrote this faster than I thought I would, so you are getting is several days early. In exchange, you will be forced to wait after a cliffhanger that was more exciting than the previous one because I will likely not be writing much on the weekend. (I know, I know. I want to…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
Now the stakes are rising. I feel like the war and Aaron’s mission are closer tied together now that the prince is a Christian and the war is causing Aaron to doubt.
Yes, I do think Aaron’s character is improving with his growing doubt. It does make him more relatable. He is also starting to show some pride issues. Use these…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle cool! I’ve never lived anywhere besides the US…..
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Keilah H. replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months ago
@grcr all right!!
@linus-smallprint @rae @ellette-giselle is that everyone who was in the challenge? I still have to get to work on my drawing lol
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
Great scene! Sad about the boy who died though. It’s not too dark. War–real, full-out war–is usually sad like that.
You’ve been to Italy too? My family did a short mission trip there with our church last year, although we were there before our friends moved over there and in a different area. My mom wants to go back, it’s so…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@ellette-giselle I LOVE IT!
I like how when Aaron starts to doubt why he’s been sent there, Turin is there to remind him of God’s plan. This story’s become special to me because my family has friends who are missionaries just like Aaron. They live in Bologna, Italy, where there isn’t a physical war going on necessarily but many people there…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
Ack! Awkward romantic moments!
See the mettle armor?
I think you mean ‘metal’ here. Good to see armour thought, it always helps things feel more medieval.
So Aaron has managed to work his way up to the prince. I wonder where this will go, but I feel the prince may eventually become a Christian as well, though it could go the…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months ago
You used “whipped” instead of “wiped”
Not the first time I’ve done that. Alan has had his memory whipped by before (which I guess means he was whipped until he forgot what he was supposed to? I don’t know), but as my friend said when he noticed that, “when there’s a whip, there’s a way.”
So, you have the next one?
I am going t…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow
Next chapter. As Ellette predicted, things start to get messy here.
Chapter the 10th: (https://editor.reedsy.com/s/T1bLc1N/c/ZqPt_58SO73q86vE/chapter-the-10th)
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Keilah H. replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@ellette-giselle yeah flat characters are no fun lol.
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