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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
ack. I felt like there was something off about what he was saying, but I was looking for grammar and spelling over content. 😂
Okay, good. I know you are a Calvinist as well, so I was confused why you had that in.
Then I chose this. So, all that to say…. does it work? Or was a lie the only way he could have done it? (I know you s…
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 3 months ago
I was thinking up the elevator to the top floor and a empty office (possibly with a frustrated teacher who was trying to prepare their next lesson and got dropped on the head)?
Leo
“Knighted?” His eyebrows furrowed together. “It’s an archaic practice of dedicating elite soldiers called knights. A thousand years ago boys would…[Read more]
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Linus Smallprint replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
Okay, I’m back now!
So, keilah likes the scene that you have a problem with, linus! This is great. 🤣
Here’s an idea. What if I shift it a little so that the conversation happened a day or two after they had already been on the ship? Do you think that would work?
That would definitely work better, giving Julian some time to c…[Read more]
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Liberty replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 3 months ago
“Lord, all that’s down there is trouble. Nothing good happens out here after dark. I’m going home.”
*grin* Yup. That never works for an excuse!
Go now, and sin no more,
Perfect!
The whip tore into his back again and Leon felt himself jerk with the force of the blow. Oh God, forgive them!
Oh. WOW. I love this scene! Not because…[Read more]
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 3 months ago
Probably. XD
Leo
“Sir Leo?” A grin twitched at his mouth. “Don’t think I’ve been knighted yet–and not likely ever to be–, and I’m definitely not a senior officer.” he laughed, amused despite Rory’s too serious expression.
“I’d be glad to have you with me. Let’s go argue with an ancient AC unit.”
He led the way out the door,…[Read more]
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Elishavet Elroi replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 3 months ago
Lol!
*Viktor sees it*
What? I don’t… Oh. Oh! That’s funny. *Laughs so hard it sounds like a duck*
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Koshka replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 1 year, 3 months ago
(Almost started this RP with my Russian keyboard on. Definitely not what I expected to be typing. XD)
Leo
The last screw dropped into the bucket. Leo looked up from his tinkering with the radios at the sudden stop of the steady plink, tink sounds.
“All done? Great job. We just got a work order for an AC unit. Sounds like it’s…[Read more]
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
Yeah, that makes sense. I’ve read the Ilyon Chronicles, which kind of has a similar vibe to your story’s time period and world, and one of the side characters (Christian) married a former prostitute after she became a believer. So, maybe it kind of reminded me of that, I don’t know.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
@ellette-giselle exactly what I thought too tbh
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
@hybridlore @ellette-giselle honestly I didn’t see her as a love interest for him. It just didn’t make sense to me. So yeah, having a bunch of scenes of them interacting and then saying “they’re not meant to be a thing” would be weird.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
Yep lol.
Yeah, that makes sense. I couldn’t remember if it was an area he went through often or not.
Gotcha. Yeah, I get that. I was wondering if she might become a love interest for Julian, but if not, it’s probably better not to involve her too much.
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
To be honest, I kind of guessed she was going to be a prostitute, so Julian’s reaction seemed a little much (especially to seeing her bare shoulder or whatever lol.) But then I reminded myself that it was different back then, so it made sense.
I would like to see her become a bigger part of the story, unless that doesn’t wor…[Read more]
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
@hybridlore lol
@ellette-giselle well it’s cause Leon’s being whipped and will probably die.
But I mean like we should be used to that by now. Julian helping Rosalind is novel and thus should get attention.
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Keilah H. replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
@ellette-giselle wow! What a section. Between Julian’s encounter and Leon’s torture, this was a lot.
Is Leon gonna die or will his life be spared? (even if only for a little while longer)
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
@ellette-giselle
Ohhhh, okay. Wow, that is a longgg book. XD -
Stepheroni and Cheese replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 1 year, 4 months ago
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Stepheroni and Cheese replied to the topic Let's Laugh! Writing Memes in the forum Art 1 year, 4 months ago
@ellette-giselle lol
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
Oh, okay. Out of how many pages total?
And are these Word/Docs pages, or like actual book pages?
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hybridlore replied to the topic The Flames of Hope Saga Book 3: Land of Shadows in the forum Novel Critique Requests 1 year, 4 months ago
Augghhhhh.
Wow, this book felt way shorter than the second one. Is that the case, or was it just me?
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