Ellette Giselle

@liberty

Okay that makes sense.

That is totally how I plan to have this structured, but at that time, many of the men were hearing about God for the first time, and the Bible talks about leaders and teachers being strong in their faith and well rooted in belief before they teach.

@hybridlore

@keilah-h

Thank you for the feedback!

@liberty

Sorry!!!

You should have chosen an MC as your favorite. They actually all survived this time. 😂

I was like, oh no, she’s gonna love him and he’s gonna die. (he’s my favorite too, so we can cry together)

@keilah-h

I hope so too! It’s up to the others if they’re read for the next one.

Although, one question. Was the Christian prince the only one? Who’s gonna inherit the throne when the Emperor dies now? (Don’t tell me the priests have tried to make it so one of them will get it.)

Dietrich was sole heir. His brother died as a baby.

That is…[Read more]

@hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty  @linus-smallprint

QUESTIONS!

Characters:

~Which character(s) did you find the most compelling/relatable/believable and why?

~ Were there any character that need to be more engaging? If so, how would be some good ways for me to do that?

~Where the characters…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Common sence. Got it.

Thank you.

No girls fighting with broadswords as big as they are.

No boys wresting free of a group of well trained, armed men.

Short for Nicodemus. That’s all I will explain.

ahhh…. I think I see where you’re going.

Never assume anyone is dead until you have seen the body.” – A likey butch…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Oh, one other thing. @hybridlore says it seems unclear that the prince is dead. I don;t know if you saw our conversation, but if you did, what are your thoughts?

@linus-smallprint

Sure, he can try. He’s been trying for the last few minutes. It’s not going to do much good. He’s a sixteen-year-old kid against several temple guards.

They’re going to win.

On a side note, I wonder what the Priest’s motivations are (other than hatred of God). Seems like control over the people may be a big one, possibly w…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

Yes, I did!

I’m so sorry, I was swamped yesterday. I’ll get to it as soon as I can.

@hybridlore

Okay yeah, I can see what they think. I don’t really ever do “dead” characters coming back to life. That troupe drives me insane. I think I’ve only ever done it once.

I had another time when one character thought the other one was dead, but you were following both MCs, so you knew the truth. (kind of like with Julian and…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Big Yikes!

he made it though! 😅

I don’t think you intended this, but this is a little harsh. The way he said it, it comes across as challenging unbelief. Like Leon is saying, ‘Do any of you now dare to disbelief after what happened to me?’ I think it’s the way he starts the sentence. ‘Can any of you deny…’ This might no…

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@hybridlore

Yes. The end.

It snuck up on me too. 🤣 I scrolled to the next page and was like, “Oh! This is where I decided to break it!”

I feel like Marius and Prince Dietrich will come back. The way you left it, it does sound like an eyewitness saw their deaths, but… Why would you have cut the scene off so soon? It feels unfinished. If y…

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And this page is gonna blow up.

No one saw ANY of that coming.

😏

@hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty

@linus-smallprint   (I know you haven’t had a chance to get to yesterday’s, but I’m impatient. Sorry.) 😂

NEXT SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Night had fallen about the city, and the occupants of the palace were retiring to their rooms. Prince Dietrich had excused him…

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@liberty

You know what….. i need to stop having characters with varied spelling of the same name. Yes, this is Dietrich. Deidrich belongs to CR. 🙄

*pumping my fist in the air* This is Awesome!!

*claps hands excitedly*

This is so hilarious! He nonchalantly says those words and Julian and Aelic are shocked.

lolololol. I…[Read more]