RaeMarie

I like that cover. Perhaps the red could be a bit bolder so it stands out more. My one thought was that if the man was in action and/or wore some red it would pop more. But I don’t know if that is possible. Also…what is he holding?

I don’t care for the background picture, though a locket by itself could work. The hand and locket could work, but…[Read more]

I agree with getting your name the same color as the title. And I think the fonts should match better. Your name isn’t going to be fancy like the title, but they just seem mismatched right now. It would be cool if the pattern thing could be a symbol from the book, but I’m not sure if there are any overt symbols in your book…

And one picky…[Read more]

Any critique I have has already been mentioned. I like it. 🙂

@Northerner Welcome to the bestiest place on the internet! YES! I got to say it. Though whether I spelled it right is another matter… So glad you are finally here! You’ll have fun. 🙂

I’ve been learning more about character arcs recently and am working on a disillusionment arc for one of my MCs. A disillusionment arc is, how did @kate-flournoy put it, moving from a pleasant lie to an unpleasant truth. So it is positive in that it moves from lie to truth, but negative in that it goes from pleasant to unpleasant. Since I’m…[Read more]

I think @kate-flournoy and the others might have already said all this, but my main thought on hooks and first lines is that it needs to present a question. It doesn’t normally ask a question outright, but the question is implied. If the story starts with dialogue, we wonder who is talking. If it says ‘once only God knew the day that you would…[Read more]

In a twist of fate, he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered, everything he cherishes put to the test, and a long-concealed truth that will threaten his life.”

There is something not quite right with this. I like the last line about the long-concealed truth, but something doesn’t quite flow right with the sentence as a w…[Read more]

I’d rate it at a 7 or 8. A few corrections:

but strange events keep thwarting his every move

The ‘keep thwarting’ is passive. It would be stronger if you change it to thwarts.

And, as some of the others mentioned, I’d switch out one of the ‘events’ for a diffrent word.

and even his own life is put at stake.

There’s nothing wrong with…[Read more]

@Anne-of-Lothlorien I…umm, I wasn’t expecting this when I saw I’d been tagged. Thanks. I think. 😉

@i-j-anderson Welcome! I enjoy watercolor too, though I paint mainly landscapes. When I get my paints out, which isn’t often now… What kind of short stories do you write? Contemporary? Fantasy?

@Anne-of-Lothlorien I like them both. I guess I may be strange that way, but unless something is bad, I can generally enjoy both the movie and the book in different ways. They act less like children in the movie, and their goal is more important. I wasn’t sure about the movie the first time I saw it, but I’ve grown to like it. And I like the book.…[Read more]

@anne-of-lothlorien I haven’t, mainly because I’m not sure how I would go about such a thing. Though I have toyed with the idea now and then. Perhaps the speaker would be telling the ‘reader’ about some sort of past they can’t remember and the reader has to become the hero of the story. Hmm, now that could be a cool idea.

@mark-kamibaya It’s from Captain America, Civil War! I can’t remember the name of the girl who said it, though. She’s Peggy’s niece, I believe, but I can’t remember her first name…

@daeus I got 875 words done. Though I have to leave for work now so I won’t be doing much else for a while.

@Daeus, I’m going to be writing on the next installment of a serial story for the next half-hour or so…

I’m done! Done with my novella and I wrote almost 7000 words today!

I’m going to be writing for the next hour @jess, @daeus, @the-bean, @Kate-flournoy if any of you are here.

@jess I’ve written another 500 words, so that makes a total of 5500 words today. But I still have one more short chapter to go before this novella is done. I’m hoping to finish that after supper.

@jess @daeus I got another 500 written between my break and now. I’m hoping to have at least another 500 written before supper. Maybe more…

@jess I’m taking a quick break, but I’ll be writing again in about 20 minutes. I’ve 500 words written since the last time I was on.