CanadaLily

@grcr

Just finished reading through all your chapters… man, I dont even know what to say…

Must read moreeeeee. WRITE WRITE WRITE!

Aw girlie thank you so much… <33

Eloy is my favorite… Aubrielle is probably second. And, since he hasn’t done anything yet that I can see, Cassian is also a fav.

AWWWWW

Why Eloy thoughhhh he kinda just drops off the…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Omc thank you so much girl, that means a lot…you’re gonna make me cryyyy

Ahhh thank youuuu 😭😭💜💜💜💜💜

Your critique was EXACTLY what I was looking for, so thank you!!!

–Characters are very easy to picture, and not very easy to forget. XD So you’re good in that area.

YAYYYY!!! That’s one of the things I was worried about, and I’m s…[Read more]

@keilah-h

yes, actually!!!!!

I think I have a couple more chapters since you last read it!!!

@keilah-h

aw yesss

@keilah-h

I feel like I always write the most when I post on KP or when I know people will read it…

It’s so cool to see writers supporting other writers <3

@whalekeeper

Heeyy Sara, I’m about a third through your story right now! What kind of critique do you want? Any specific concerns, stuff like that?

Ummmm

Let me think lol

I think I’m just worried about pacing, flow of the story, and if it’s at all interesting lol

And character development ideas would be helpful too!!

I also just want to know t…[Read more]

LILITU’S NICKNAME IS TULIPS???????

Yeah lol

you can thank one of the boys from my school for that one XDXD

The frog wedding is adorable.

I KNOWWWW

YOU KILLED NEVEAH?!?!?!

no comment….

@theducktator

 I just finished your prologue. It’s good, but you overuse italics.

NOOOOOO
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO USE ITALICS

😱😱😱😱

*sobs hysterically*

Oh my goodness, they kissed!!!!

yesssss

*coughs* um yeah…chapter three is kinda dark I guess 😂😂

@freed_and_redeemed

AHHH GIRL I LOVE THIS

@trailblazer

Good ideas!!! I will probably use those in future scenes…thank you so much!!!

@theshadow

Yeppp!!!

@elishavet-pidyon

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s not a lie about Sef, but it would make the former lie hit home. Make her really crumble since the last thing keeping the lie f…

[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

wowww…that’s a lot to think about and really helpful!!! Thank you!

Here’s a little background on that scene…

yes, I know it is very sloppy and not perfect (I just wrote it literally today)

but here’s the cliffnotes:

• Sef is a slave of Iver, who is a Pythonos.
• Sef and Iver are currently in the throne room of the Master, leader of all Pythonos
• Iver has applied for a military position, and the Master is…

[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

WHATTT
the chosen makes me wanna cry

it’s so good!!!! they portrayed it so well in my opinion hahaha

it’s my FAVORITE show of all time hahaha

@elishavet-pidyon

YES those are what I’m looking for!!!!
I will definitely be using those later in my book…

But I’m struggling with a specific scene where I need a lie XDXD and none of these seem to fit…

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the Master spat, motioning for Iver to continue. “You may begin whenever you are ready.”

Sef’s knees sho…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Okay good lol

Also, Paynes cannot become Pythonos because of genetics, but I’m not sure how to incorporate that in the book quite yet…don’t worry though, I’ll make that clearer in other drafts.

@esther-c

Okay perfect! Thank you!

@the_lost-journal

Aw I’m glad <3

Some of those were lies. what do you mean? You yourself said that they were lies.

yes, they are lies…

But they’re not the type of lies in my story…

agh I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry!!

@the_lost-journal

omc…you’re gonna make me cry…that’s so sad! I’m so sorry that people said that to you…I hope you know it’s not true and that NO ONE should EVER talk that way to another person! That makes me really mad actually, like why do people have to be so mean?!?

so I have experience with a lot of insults!

Unfortunately, though those…[Read more]

@trailblazer

It needs to be lies that affect the way you think…but shorter. Like “you are nothing” will have more impact than “you are ugly/not beautiful” will…

I’m not really sure how to explain it, but I’m looking for short lies, not so much longer insults.