Beth

@savannah_grace2009

Aww, I love that chapter. Sef and Lilitu are adorable.

@grcr

Thank you!!! <3

@rae

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

Yeah me neither… 

I just came up with it as I was writing it XD

@freed_and_redeemed

I was expecting to not be able to type cuz the keyboard would be fuzzy, but I was pleasantly surprised!

Good for Leon!

And I totally get not wanting to forgive someone. I still can’t bring myself to forgive someone for insulting the memory of my Grandmother not even six months after her passing, let alone someone who killed…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awwww, so cute <333

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, I got it. Sorry about not replying, but doing so would tempt me to disclose some of my thoughts before July 11th.

Thx for checking though!

DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

[Read more]

@ellette-Giselle

So there’s this unwritten rule on KP about joining new topics, and it basically goes like this, “Pop in wherever you want”. If you want to join the conversation, you just do. If you feel bad about it, don’t, because everyone does it too.

I understand the feeling, like you’re barging into a stranger’s house when you’re new here,…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @keilah-h @loopylin

Thank you.

@freedom @anyone-else-who-are-interested-in-the-second-ending

I posted it in the topic My short story. Warning, if you wanted a happy ending to the story, don’t read it. It’s pretty sad.

@freed_and_redeemed

Why is Riker like all my bois rapped into one rn? Seriously, Alpha’s afraid he’ll hurt those he loves, Chase feels like he let down his mother in not protecting her. Nahim is just…my poor Nahim, I cried over him last night.

I think I finally figured out why I like Riker so much.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll finally let…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Like some random dictator of favored fiction wants me to help you.

XD

@freed_and_redeemed

WHYYY

@whalekeeper

Thank you for everything Whaley!! This means a lot <3

Both ways work well!! Whatever makes more sense to you; I’m just throwing random ideas to help you brainstorm

Ohhhh gotcha! Thanks XD

I think what Jonas was mentioning (please correct me if I’m wrong!) is before, there was some moral grayness and room for human variation, esp…

[Read more]

@theshadow

Well…look at my novel!

It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.

But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!

I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.

Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD

You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…

[Read more]

@jonas

Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.

Okay good XD

Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!

These three par…

[Read more]