Ariella Newheart

@dragon-snapper
*puppy eyes* Pleeeeeeeeeeeaasssseeeee??????????? I’m dying to read more! 🙂

@dragon-snapper
Well…
So…
Um..
WOW.
There are not words for how much I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Simply put, this is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Period.
As for my favorite line, I love all of the ones mentioned, but the last line…

“I like your dragons.”

…was one of the best. Perfect ending to an amazing story. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

@r-j-wordsmith
*wild applause* This is hilarious. Seriously. I was grinning the entire time. 🙂
I literally noticed one thing:

“Sir, if you have anything against my height I advise it to keep it to yourself

This should say “I advise you” not “it”. 😉
Great, great work!

@overcomer
I like this a lot! It has a very fairytale-ish feel (sorry for stealing your words, @ethryndal), which is what I’m sure you were going for. So nice job!
1. Try not to use parentheses as much as you do. Example:

She plopped (rather ungraciously) back down on the divan and patted the spot next to her.

2. It might just be me but using the…[Read more]

@daeus
I believe you have it written correctly. This has always been a point of confusion for me too, but I’m fairly certain that the dialogue should be capitalized and surrounded with quotations. 🙂

@winter-rose
Nothing to critique. Brilliantly written and engaging! The ending is very satisfying. Nice work! 🙂

@winter-rose
WOW. I noticed a few things about this.
1. The protagonist’s voice is hilarious. Don’t change a thing about Sam’s personality.
2. I think the first scene is really good, but I’m not sure it’s necessary for the story. Everything after Sam starts telling about his day is amazing, just maybe think about putting the scene with his mom in…[Read more]

@r-j-wordsmith
What are you trying to do? Make me cry my eyes out??? *blows nose and wipes away tears*
This is so simple but beautifully written. I did notice some spelling and punctation errors, but other than that, it’s really good. I see now from your post above what the “Condemned” sign means, but maybe you could make that a little clearer.…[Read more]

@r-j-wordsmith
*examining you closely through spectacles* Hmm…homeschooled. C.S. Lewis fan. Has a ton of siblings. *shrugs* I suppose we could put up with you. *gives you worlds biggest hug*
Hi!
I have learned so much from KP and I hope you have as much fun here as I have! Welcome! 🙂 😉 🙂

@kate-flournoy
You board a train, and the doors and windows automatically lock once you’re inside. Finish the story…
Not very good, I know. Ah, well. I try. 🙂
I’ll tag a few more people: @kayla-joy @alia @winter-rose @overcomer @christi-eaton @clairec @anne-swiftblade @his-instrument @faithdk @adry_grace

@kate-flournoy
You board a train, and the doors and windows automatcially lock once you’re inside. Finish the story…
Not very good, I know. Ah, well. I try. 🙂
I’ll tag a few more people: @kayla-joy @alia @winter-rose @overcomer @christi-eaton @clairec @anne-swiftblade @his-instrument @faithdk @adry_grace

Hello, @kayla-joy! Though, I have 0 experience with Sci-Fi or Dystopian-ish novels, I wanted to say “hi” and “welcome.” Glad to have you. 🙂 😉 🙂 WARNING: THE PEOPLE HERE ARE SLIGHTLY CRAZY (or maybe it’s just me and everyone else is normal…I forget which). 😛 Anyway, welcome!

@anne-of-lothlorien
You will be greatly missed. We who remain shall bear this loss with heavy hearts and hopeful spirits that you will one day return to the great Kingdom of Pen. Fare thee well!
In other words, bye and God bless! 😉

Great poem, @overcomer. I echo what everyone else said, but I noticed a few things in the last stanza.

They flew off refusing me an encore
So rapidly their wings whirred
‘Til they were lost among the trees
And I looked after them feeling absurd

Maybe cut out “and” in the last line. I feel like “refusing me an encore” could be first so that i…[Read more]

Great poem, @overcomer. I echo what everyone else said, but I noticed a few things in the last stanza.

They flew off refusing me an encore
So rapidly their wings whirred
‘Til they were lost among the trees
And I looked after them feeling absurd

Maybe cut out “and” in the last line. I feel like “refusing me an encore” could be first so that i…[Read more]

@Daeus I will check my calendar and get back to you all ASAP. This sounds so cool!

@S-G-Dewey
Wow, that’s a lot of instruments! I used to play piano, but I’m taking a break from that. I’ve never been gifted in the intrument-playing area, but I do like to sing. 🙂