Ariel Ashira

@gh24682468999 lol, sometimes it’s just best to keep things private. ah, us writers are so misunderstood. 😉

@aislinn-mollisong I am just at that place in my western, too!  It’s awful.  Right now I’m doing a little bit of outlining, and I might just skip the hard part and write the next part, then come back to it later.

Hey!  @aislinn-mollisong I’m working on my western, and chatting with @clairec about how – contrary to what most people here think – fantasy isn’t the only genre out there. 😀

What are you doing?

@clairec Okayyy, that sounds interesting.  I’m a real stickler for historical accuracy, but not so much historical events as culture.  I will freak out if someone wears a 1947 dress in 1943, or talks about an actress whose first movie was released six months later than the time in which the book was set, but if you want to add a few historical e…[Read more]

@sam-kowal Good revisions. (And good synopsis in general, btw. These things are hard.)

Possibly, these three revisions could help.

Feastings end – feasting ends.

Only humans farm in the city of Kurr. Dwarfs would rather win glory in the exosuit arena. When food got low in the winter of 1276, the dwarves robbed us of our crops.

The dwarfs are…[Read more]

@clairec  Yes!  Everyone is so into fantasy now it seems all other genres are forgotten for young people!

I have read a little fantasy.  I liked the Chuck Black Kingdom  and Knights series okay a couple of years ago, and I love the Frank Peretti Cooper Kids series (which is only semi-fantasy).  Other than that, though I mostly read histori…[Read more]

@daughteroftheking 😀 Yes !

You found it! 😛 That was on purpose. Stan begged me to add it in.

Holidays are never as fun when you’re worried people will die once the feastings end.

       The farmers of the city of Kurr are human, because no dwarf wants to hoe grain when they could be winning glory in the exosuit arena. So when food got low in the winter of 1276, the dwarves robbed us of our crops.

 We had no exosuits, but we planted c…[Read more]

@dekreel  Yeah, I have a feeling I would be a sweet, well-meaning character who unintentionally ruins everyone’s plans because I would deal with things in a real-world way. 😀  That would be very annoying for fantasy believers, and could really mess up the cliched plot for them. *snickers*

I don’t know…if you act enough like a person I might f…[Read more]

@rochellaine Yes I agree! But what if they had the same goals, but different opinions on how to accomplish them? *Shrug* 🙂

And yeah im in the USA haha. Good good.
Having them get together for the end will make your ending more satisfying. *cackles* 😀

@rochellaine  Hmm…. *smirks*  I like that! It’s unique!

… Wait, so how do you feel about me? Please don’t make me disappear! *prepares to hide under table*

@dekreel Have you noticed how not-into fantasy I am?  I think if I was in a KPA I would probably be the person who instead of wanting to go on the quest would try to call the police.  Or if someone had a cute imaginary creature for a pet I would say something like “That’s not a real animal” and poof!  the creature would disappear because I di…[Read more]

@rochellaine  Absolutely! *whips out character notes* What’s your suggestion?

@dekreel Oh good!  😀  May I make a suggestion?

@rochellaine  Okay I’m back, but only for about twenty more minutes XD

The KPA is actually going to be a whole series of holiday-themed stories. So if you aren’t in this one, you will undoubtedly be in another one. And don’t worry — I won’t make you a creature 😉

@dekreel Bye!  I’ll probably still be here for a while, so I might be here when you get back.

@rochellaine  Ahh, I gotta go! Sorry I couldn’t stay longer! I shall return later!

@sam-kowal The idea is definitely intriguing.

As far as the synopsis goes, I agree with Kate that the voice is slightly inconsistent. My main advice though is cut anything you can. Like, “believe me, that tends to curb one’s appetite could be cut. There are a few words you cut elsewhere or phrases you could rephrase to sue less word.

Also, I…[Read more]

@dekreel *Slowly peeks out from under eyelashes* Am I going to be in the story?

I don’t really care one way or another if I’m in it, so don’t put me in if you weren’t planning to. 😀  I just want to make sure I’m not some weird creature, because I have noticed you are prone to doing that, and I don’t think I would like it… 🙂

@rochellaine  Exactly! And it’s working out!

Cool! BTW I read what you had on the doc, and I really liked it!