You’re welcome!  And congrats!

Hey there!  So, my Chromebook isn’t fully cooperating with me, so I’ll just post my critique here so you can copy and paste it into a folder of your choosing!  (Hope this works okay instead?)

So first off!  I love your imagination.  You have an interesting premise for your story.  I like how you use clear description, and Bumb…[Read more]

Alright, thanks!  I’ll use the link on the previous page, if that’s alright?

Hi there, I’m Lily and I also write middle-grad fantasy!  Do you still want feedback on your story?  I’d love to read through it.  🙂

Ps.  I’d be happy to use the link to your document, instead of email.  🙂

I’ll have to check it out then!:)

It works now. Thanks. 🙂

I read to the end of what you’ve written and I’m greatly enjoying it!
The changes you made improved it greatly. It is flowing nicely. I can’t say there’s anything at this point I noticed that needs changes. 😁

Hello Anika! I am a little late in welcoming you to Kingdom Pen, but anyway… welcome! 😀 I’m Abigail btw:) A middle-grade fantasy novel? That sounds awesome!
Once again, welcome and it’s amazing to have you here at KP!:D

I will read it once I’ve got the time and get back to you. 🙂

It looks really good! I’m so glad to see that the format is easier to read and the grammar mistakes have been fixed. Specific advice; I would suggest that when the mom says her first line, you wrote ‘she said’ instead ‘she groaned.’ Sometimes simplicity is your best friend! 🙂

So I also read your chapters you posted, and I find the plot very intriguing!! It’s well made as far as the actual story, I found it exciting and curiosity invoking!

for improving the sentence structure, I would say to add more motion to the characters, wide eyes can be used for surprise or fear, and raised eyebrow for skepticism, gasp…[Read more]

Hey, Anika! I was actually just listening to your podcast when I saw this, it’s really interesting. 😀

1. I think one of the best ways to make dialogue less choppy is by developing your characters’ individual voices. Consider character ages, personalities, ethnicities, religions, etc. All of these factors contribute to character voice.…[Read more]

The way that they are talking almost sounds stiff like they’re in a formal business sort of a setting, not two good friends talking to each other in an informal setting.

@anika123  Hi!

I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dial…[Read more]

Alright. If you like you can copy/paste these right into the Doc.

I would, but I noticed that when I try to comment it includes my email address, once I’m able to sign out of my Google account I’ll comment it in the Doc.

I’m on page 4 so far and I love the story! I do, however, have a couple of concerns. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed, I suggest those first. And I also suggest giving the characters’ individual voices. I can’t tell the difference between who’s speaking, thankfully this is an easy fix by developing tone…[Read more]

I’d love to be a beta reader and provide feedback for you! I’m not sure if I’d be the best person because I don’t have anything published myself yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day and have been writing for years.

I don’t share my email because it not only includes my full name but also my town/school name, and I’m not…[Read more]

Hello, Anika! 😀 I’m Evelyn, it’s no nice to meet you. I hope that you enjoy KP and the awesome community we have! You say you’re working on a middle grade fantasy novel? Cool! What would you summarize it as in one sentence?

All the same principles that make any character good applies to an Indian character. So I suggest doing a lot of research on what makes a character well-developed, complex, and what makes them feel real. There’s a lot of articles on KP about that.

And then I’d do a lot of research on what kind of Indian she is. Everything surrounding…[Read more]

Well, I can’t pretend to be an expert in this department as I’ve never written for an Indian before (I’m assuming she’s a Native American?), but I’ll do my best to help! 😀 Which part of your character do you feel needs work?

What’s the premise of the story? I think if I knew a bit about what it’s about I could give you a better answer on if the title fits.

Also, congrats on finishing your novel! Is this the first book you’ve finished or have you completed others before?

Hi! Great to have you! I love fantasy as well. Do you have any favorite fantasy books or just books in general?

Also, who’s your favorite fictional character?

Looking forward to getting to know you better! See you around!

Hi, Anika! Welcome to the forum! I’m Lydia. 🙂

Cool! I love fantasy. Do you have dragons in your world? My main WIP is fantasy, and dragons (Well, there’s just one at first, but that changes near the end. 😉) do make an appearance.

Here are some questions for you, if you like answering them:

1) Who are your top three favorite…[Read more]

1. What are some of your favorite hobbies outside of writing?

2, What’s your current work about?

3. What are some of your favorite books/movies?