@aella
Active 6 years, 9 months ago- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 160
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic An aggravation over Stained Glass in the forum Poetry Critiques 10 months, 2 weeks ago
I love the imagery the words create! Your style is very different from mine so I don’t know how helpful I can be, but I’ll try! 🙂
What meter are you using? (I’m not very familiar with meter so I have to ask.)
The rhymes are slant rhymes I think? They’re not exact. But it’s pretty consistent until it gets to the last stanza. I don’t think that…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 10 months, 3 weeks ago
I love the freeverse (that isn’t freeverse) poem! 🙂 Absolutely! Tag me when you post that poem that’s giving you grief. @koshka
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 10 months, 3 weeks ago
Goodness me, I thought I replied to you ages ago, @koshka! Sorry! Now that I think about it, I went down a rabbit hole of web searching and trying to figure out what sort of poem it was, and I think I started to write a reply but must’ve never posted it.
Essentially, it’s a rhyming poem, but not a metered one. Some sources consider it free verse,…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier posted an update 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Lately, I’ve been brainstorming a very important question to my WIP: Why do the aliens attack? While I’d been kinda hoping to leave it as simply random and kinda comical, lately I’ve been wondering if I’m not just being lazy. Shouldn’t the aliens have a reason or purpose? I have some ideas of my own already, but I’m curious. What do y’all think?…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Now that I think about it, I’m really stuck on the edits so I might as well share what I’ve got here and see if you guys can’t help me get unstuck. I’ve made a few small changes that you may notice, but the main thing that I’m struggling with is settling on an ending.
I’ve written several endings that all have slight variations in words and…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Thanks, @karissa-chmil! This is definitely one of my poems that I find myself going back to a lot and rereading. The atmosphere and imagery of it really draw me in, and I like pondering the meaning of it. 🙂
One of the edits I’m considering is possibly connecting some of the shorter, broken lines in the part of the poem you mention. It’s supposed…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Thanks, @koshka! I love the layered meanings of words too. It was funny because I drafted it so hastily and impulsively that I didn’t even realize the full depth of meaning I had woven into the poem–until I was reading and rereading while editing. It was intentional and yet much of it was subconsciously done.
I just let all of the mixed-up…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Shabby Guitar Poem in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Thanks, @koshka! That would be great. 🙂
I wrote this poem after my uncle’s passing. He was self-taught on guitar and left a few of the instruments behind (as well as many people who loved him).
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 11 months, 3 weeks ago
Okay, I just deleted the old post from my feed, redid the post and reposted it. It worked. 🙂 @kathleenramm
I think it must’ve marked it as spam before because I edited it a few times? Not really sure. Weird.
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic The Shabby Guitar Poem in the forum Poetry Critiques 11 months, 3 weeks ago
I’d appreciate any and all feedback on this one! It’s an older poem of mine that I really want to polish and improve. Thanks! 😀
The Shabby Guitar
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Silent is the shabby guitarÂ
Locked and put away
Faded are the songs it madeÂ
Folded are the hands that played
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Silent is the shabby guitarÂ
Slowly losing its tune
While people come a…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 11 months, 3 weeks ago
Thanks, @whalekeeper ! 🙂
Hi, @kathleenramm ! I haven’t tried reposting it yet. It’s still hidden so far as I can make out. I see on my profile that I made the post, but it’s still marked as spam in the thread section.
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic Why was my post marked as spam? in the forum Questions and Support 11 months, 4 weeks ago
So I posted a new post in the poetry critiques, but I had to edit a couple of times to make the formatting right. Suddenly, it was marked as spam and hidden? I’m confused.
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 1 month ago
Awesome, @acancello! I prefer that one too! 🙂
I’ll think about it for sure, @light-warrior-pen. 🙂
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 1 month ago
@avancello, your comments made my day! I’m so glad you like my poem! 🙂 It really makes sharing it worthwhile! I was seriously thinking about just burying this poem after editing it, but maybe I’ll publish it somewhere after all.
I’m actually considering altering one of those lines slightly, so I’m curious about what you think.
It would be…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 1 month ago
Endings are tricky, aren’t they? @light-warrior-pen ? Sometimes they come naturally and effortlessly, but most of the time they take a lot of staring at the WIP, then staring off at nothing, then staring at the WIP again, then writing gibberish, then…
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 1 month ago
Thanks, @elanor ! 😀
You grasped the concept of my poem perfectly! I’m glad you enjoyed it and found it relatable. 🙂 Because it’s very personal, I really wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in it. I’m glad I decided to share it!
I’m still working on those last lines. I’m torn between fleshing them out and changing them a bit to better…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 2 months ago
Thanks, @light-warrior-pen ! I’m glad you liked my imagery. 😊
The subject is me, the author, and the boat and sea is a fictional, metaphorical dream I used to describe the feeling of living in myself, I suppose. (Although I was next to the sea and I have been in wooden boats many times. My da is a fisherman, so.)
I’m glad you pointed that out…[Read more]
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Mallory O'Bier started the topic The Moonlit Sea and Me in the forum Poetry Critiques 1 year, 2 months ago
Hey, everyone! This is my most recent, completed poem. Please critique it and let me know what you think! I’m looking for feedback an all aspects of the poem (including the name, and consistency of imagery), so don’t be shy if you have any thoughts to share. (I’m working on sharing my poetry more often and seeking regular feedback.)
Thanks!
The…[Read more] -
Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 1 year, 4 months ago
Nice poem, @acancello! And I like yours, @mineralizedwritings, and the Masked and Victory poems, @elanor. 🙂
I haven’t written any lately, I’ve been so busy with work. Maybe I’ll write one this weekend.
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Mallory O'Bier replied to the topic Does anyone here write poetry or haiku's ? in the forum Poetry 1 year, 4 months ago
That’s fun, @elanor! 🙂
This is my most recent poem. Most of my poetry is brief in length. Usually, I get out an idea or a feeling and then stop.
Forgottenings
Sediments of nostalgia shape a place:
Like icing on a cake, wrinkles in a face
Aging, changing, but ever the same feelings,
Nameless emotions, memories stirring
Like ghosts,…[Read more]
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Almost all wars are started by 3 things (And typically it’s a mix of all 3 of them.)
1) Misunderstanding
2) Greed
3) Anger
Any or all of these would be great for basing the reasoning for an alien invasion off of.