Allison

You believe in me when I can’t believe in myself.

Not to downplay Ellette’s opinion 😅 I didn’t really mind this part. To me, when I read this part, it’s more about the value of self-worth. You need people to believe in you, even if you can’t sometimes. I have low self-esteem sometimes and I need my mom to put me back on track. If we tell o…[Read more]

@anyone

Chapter 11

Wolves

“Sef?”

Sef looked up from sweeping the floor, and saw Neveah standing in the doorway.

“What is it?”

“We’re forgetting something,” Neveah smiled wryly.

“Forgetting something?” Sef repeated, confused.

“Yes. We’re forgetting to think of names for the child.”

A knot of anger grew in Sef’s stomach.

“We’re going to…[Read more]

@rae

I forgot about this. I might join if it gets started, but I don’t have any ideas for what to do next.

@jonas

This phrasing sounds a bit awkward.

I’m cringing…

WHYYY

apparently I didn’t edit it as well as I thought…

Ooops yeah I’ll fix that.

That’s a lot of “that”s.

NOOOO I’M CRINGING AGAIN

what was I thinking?!? I just committed a crime…to use the same word three times in a sentence…how could I?!?!

By this point, you’ve managed to conv…

[Read more]

@theshadow @anyone

~ Mentions of several sensitive topics all at once, sensitive people should not read ~

I really want to give an example of a too-dark story idea so Shadow doesn’t feel too bad about the atomic bomb idea.

I know a girl who is writing a fanfic love story. In it, the guy gets sent to war before making a proposal. Many of his…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper

Thanks that makes me feel a little better!

And I know it’s weird that I’m only 14 and are writing about this kind of stuff…

And what’s even more strange is that I was never ever exposed to violence or horror movies or bad books as a young child. So at eight years old when I started writing about slavery and…[Read more]

@keilah-h

This is still a serious topic though, I agree with you. I’ve seen darker on this website from a graphic perspective. Not to attack Godly, but she once posted a roleplay with a rather disgusting abuse description. I had to skip over it for my little sisters.

The abuse topic is strange to me. I feel almost numb to it because we’ve talked…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t mind that new revelation because it was barely mentioned. It goes right over a little kid’s head. And a Pythonos/Payne baby is an interesting challenge.

But I understand @keilah-h because the age at which you learned about these things makes a difference. If a teen writer is new to real-world dark stuff, they like to…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I have been reading the chapters you’ve been posting but I just haven’t really had any comments cuz I’m bad at critiquing :p they’re all really good, though.

I can’t say I agree with Keilah, either.

@savannah_grace2009

Okay, here we go for chapter 7.

too unfortunate to get out of their path.

This phrasing sounds a bit awkward. I had to parse through it in my head for a second to get it. Something like “unfortunate enough to be in their path” might work a bit better.

that that cart that was now a pile of ashes, could have been him.

That’s a…[Read more]

Y’all…I have to hurry up and post the next chapters so you don’t think I’m just a psychopath teenager…

heh..heh…

Chapter 9

Strange Magic

Lilitu stood at the edge of Farnbron Brook, trying—and failing— not to gag.

The smell was especially bad tonight.

It was always worse during the warmer months, and now it was the middle of sum…[Read more]

@keilah-h

If you don’t mind me asking, are you over 16??

Ummmmmm

…

…

…

I’m 14 and don’t turn 15 until September

…

…

I hope I’m correct in assuming that the book will be 16+ as well because oof……that may be the darkest thing I’ve ever seen on this site……

I don’t think I’m going to have it be 16+, more like 14+ since that’s how ol…[Read more]

Anyone who wants to follow me on pinterest click this link (I have a private account so the only people that follow me or can message me have to click the link)

https://pin.it/2Jb0BimYs

@keilah-h

Thank you so much!! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, I’m dyslexic, and I told my parents that if I found fewer than fifty editing things I’d be okay lol. I’ve read through the book and saw those errors too, but figured it wouldn’t be worth republishing over since it’s not as many as I thought.

I have at least three books planned, but t…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed your book is next. Lol.

@ellette-giselle you have published books too right? Where can I get them?

@kyronthearcanin I bought your book!! I finished it a few minutes ago. It was AMAZING. There were a couple of editing errors, but honestly I could look past those. How many do you have planned for the series, and when do you think the next one will be coming out?

@freed_and_redeemed

Yay!! I love it!!

@esther-c @mineralizedwritings @rae @savannah_grace2009 @smiley @keilah-h @ellette-giselle @koshka @grcr @theducktator @highscribeofaetherium @anyone-else-idk-lol

I (finally) made a Pinterest account! Even if y’all don’t have Pinterest, you can check it out here(just delete the space after the h; I know KP doesn’t like links, so😂):

h…[Read more]

@rae @theshadow

Sniper

Fairy had done some fine work, in my opinion. The creature fell at her feet, dead.

Silvanis came to her and kissed her forehead suddenly, lookin’ up at us, startled, when he remembered he wasn’t alone. “Uh, you guys didn’t see that.”

I chuckled. “No judgement ‘ere, mate. I’m sure we’ve all done somethin’ similar.”

I…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @ellette-giselle ooh your blurbs are nice!