Allison

@whalekeeper @loopylin

Girl are you psychic or something? Because I couldn’t figure out exactly how I felt about Chase’s sacrifice until you just voiced it.

Exactly!!!! XD XD

@loopylin

Girl are you psychic or something? Because I couldn’t figure out exactly how I felt about Chase’s sacrifice until you just voiced it. That’s exactly what I was trying to say 😂 I can understand why it’s tempting to write a character getting their way though. It’s basically their element, even though it’s a flaw.

@rae

Okay…after reading it again and reading the other’s comments…

I completely agree with @whaley and @loopy.

Chase has always kind of bothered me for the exact reason that Loopy said, but I couldn’t put it into words until I saw her post.

It doesn’t ever seem like he’s being “kind” because all it is is him beating himself up and feeling…[Read more]

@loopylin

I’m listening to it now XD XD

@theshadow

hey, I know you read the first couple chapters! I’d love to hear your thoughts/critiques on the recent chapters if you have any! But if you’re busy I totally get it, summer can be soooo hectic!

Instead of digging through all these posts, you can use this link to view the whole novel (what I’ve revised so…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Do you have any other thoughts on the chapters you’ve read?

Chapter 12

A Law

The sight that greeted Lilitu was like a cold slap in the face.

In front of the church stood three Pythonos, each with a dark horse by their side.

Jraldath, Selena, and Rrath.

A chill went down Lilitu’s spine. Unfortunately, the trio’s reputation preceded them—and it was covered with the blood of innocent victims.

The bells…[Read more]

@theducktator

Why do you always have the BEST memes?!?! Those are great XD

@whalekeeper

Girlll for a second I was scared you were gonna talk about my story and I was scared XD

yeah that’s hard.

I would just encourage her to talk to her parents about it. Maybe just gently talk to her about your concerns? She might (and will probably) get defensive, but still it’s worth a shot if you care about her that much.

I’m not…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Yeah I’ll think about doing something like that.

Again, sorry if that scene made you uncomfortable (or anyone else!)! <3

And thanks for reading my stuff!

@rae

Aww, I loved it!!

The only thing I’d recommend is to really deepen Chase’s pov, especially after he gives up his sight. Because it still felt like he could see with the way things were described. I think if you describe it in the way in which Chase was experiencing it, then it will have a much bigger impact.

Other than that it was good! (:

@theducktator

Haha I love em!

@rae

Aww that scene was sooo cute! <3

What made it decisive in my head, was Chase actually wanted this to happen. Sure, he would have avoided it in the story, but the Chase in my head told me that this all must happen.

I get that. He did however already sacrifice his mobility so maybe it just feels redundant to me.

It helps to keep some tether on the character’s mind even if you feel…[Read more]

Guys, I am so in love with plotting right now. It can be so fun. Just need to say it somewhere. 😛

@rae

I like the deer-like appearance of the unicorn. It also seems like a fun resolution scene. Family reunion scenes are the best. I can also picture Chase on the cushions well, because I know what it feels like to be an invalid now and then but still participate in family activities.

I feel like the blindness bit was too much? I mean for Chase…[Read more]

@theducktar

I am the #1 banana hater, so none :p

@ellette-giselle

*exhales*

I just read that scene you shared. Literally, Jonathan has me so stressed right now!! That was so intense! What was he thinking!!?? DUDE! 😑

…

Okay… now… ahem. 😅

I, too, like the 7th cover. My second favorite is 4, though…