AveryTheExplodey

@highscribeofaetherium

Lol is Fracture still doing his maniacal laughter, utterly oblivious to everything happening around him? 😂

Yep. XD

Fracture

“You coming?” something poked him. He did the logical thing and screamed.

Rolling away and jumping to his feet in what he hoped was a threatening fighting stance.

“HOW DARE YOU tell ME what to do!”…[Read more]

Ottoline

She had to work with Ellis?

I’m dead. So dead. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. Why couldn’t he have paired me with someone who won’t murder me the first chance we’re alone? (I know he wouldn’t actually, but she just is scared of everything, XD)

She was terrified. Terrified of the dragons, of everyone carrying a sword, of El…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Yep, that is the intention. The question, however, is why?

@jonas

Yeah, although in this story at least, I don’t find Adikar particularly interesting, he’s actually fairly flat. But he would probably be more interesting earlier in his career.

What I would want to see is his degradation into what he eventually became. It would have to be really subtle though, and feel like this could be a process that you…[Read more]

@jonas

I’m assuming you meant ‘Nale’? I think you combined ‘Nale’ and Taln.

Whoops😅

Yeah, I think it might have been largely subconscious on my part, but I definitely see the similarities. What I find intriguing about my character is the differences from Nale or Szeth. The scene is obviously similar to when we first meet Szeth in SA, and the chara…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

I started laughing while writing this XD

@jonas

Well…that was intense.

Good job!

@jonas @highscribeofaetherium @rae

Fracture

He heard distant footsteps, but didn’t think much of them. He was too engrossed in his mourning ceremony to give them much thought.

That is, until someone nearly kicked him in the head.

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He screamed, his voice cracking horribly halfway through his scream. He jumped to his feet,…[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom @jonas

This is indeed a big change. You may be changing a bit too much, while change is good, you can halt your progress completely by making to many revisions (*says as if I wasn’t the most guilty of this exact thing). However, first person can help more with experiential writing, which I think is more your style anyways. I t…

[Read more]

@grcr

Although another theme is to simply avoid making deals with the devil😅

@grcr

The moral is hypocrisy. To do evil on someone means that you yourself have done evil, regardless of what name you have committed it under.

@jonas

So this is essentially a Naln and Szeth character. I like how you added the Unspace sword you talked about earlier, and the price of hypocrisy was a good ending and theme. Great job!

@jonas

 I’ve never read a first person novel with multiple POVs, but that’s not to say they don’t exist.

Oh, that’s funny! I’ve read WAY more first person novels with multiple POV’s. i’ve read more of those than third person POV’s.

@savannah_grace2009

This is indeed a big change. You may be changing a bit too much, while change is good, you can halt your progress completely by making to many revisions (*says as if I wasn’t the most guilty of this exact thing). However, first person can help more with experiential writing, which I think is more your style anyways. I think it…[Read more]

@jonas @thearcaneaxiom @highscribeofaetherium

So with my revision of my WIP, I’m changing things a little. I’m thinking of writing it in first person now. I started writing yesterday, but now I’m stuck! How should I continue?

Also, is there anything I could improve on?

(Am I changing things too much?)

Chapter 1

The world is a dark…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Just fight him or something. The Sword chirped, That always seems to help.

Lol

Ottoline

She opened her eyes and sat up. Rays of light seeped in through the windows. She turned over in her bed. They were all exhausted.

“Do we have to go downstairs to eat breakfast? I mean have to?” Hedieh was saying from the bunk directly above Ottoline’s. “Because I don’t want to get murdered by a guy with anger issues.”

“I don’t want to…[Read more]

@esther-c

Great job! Yesterday I wrote 1,167.

@rae

lol