Y’all…I’m gonna need Advice.

[Anonymous]

@koshka. Yeah, I love the “magic” in Narnia because I know it’s an allegory. 😀 Ah yes, there are many “otherwise” out there. 🙁 That makes total sense! But for me, I think just staying away from it completely is for the best. 😉

Ah, I see! Yes, not quite an allegory, but I am noticing small points at the truth. Mostly The Light and Acheron, who’s name literally means river of sorrows. But yeah! That’s how I’m incorporating some truth and faith into it. Jared might already be my favorite. XD (just because he’s a broken boy…*sigh* I always fall for those. XD)

 

[Anonymous]

Zayn and Wayne are going to be SOOO funny. XD

[Koshka]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12

Yeah, it can be difficult. I’m steering clear myself.

OH the TWINS! I almost forgot about that, sorry.

Have you ever written twins before?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Koshka.

First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork

[Anonymous]

@koshka. Yeah. 🙂

You’re good! 😀

I have not! I’ve always wanted to, though! Zayn and Wayne will be the first! 😉

[GodlyFantasy12]

@koshka I don’t believe I’ve written twins except for fun (like a fanfic or something like that!)

I luv twins, and especially when it is girl and boy twins!

I don’t care as much for female twins but that’s honestly because I like boy characters more then girl characters 🤣 unless I can ship them with a guy XD

so I also like male twins!

So I rlly like Zlatan and Vulkasin (but Vulk is probably my favorite just cuz of his personality, and he seems so sweet, and he’s the youngest and they ALWAYS have a special place in my heart)

 

 

 

Actually (spoiler but ah also not rlly XD)

Being the person I am, I’ve already decided on my characters future children XD, and so when Ara and November INEVITABLY get married, cuz…umm…DUH, they actually have a boy and a girl that are twins.

#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb

[Koshka]

@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12

Oops. I didn’t intend to tag everyone. I have tag lists saved on my copy/paste thing, which normally works out fine, except when I hit the wrong one.

Like just now.

Oh well.

@godlyfantasy12

Ah, well I’m an identical, so writing a fraternal set has been an adventure.

(Wow, I’m not sure of my favorite, but probably Zlatan, just cause his personality is close to mine, minus the training he’s been through. And I’m the older twin in my set, so that just makes him more relatable, I guess)

Aaahhh! Boy-girl twins are adorable. *Sniff*

First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork

[Koshka]

@freedomwriter76

I actually can’t think of anything in particular to put, that may be helpful, as I don’t know what you want advice on. But if you have a question, now or later, feel free to ask!

And I’ll probably fill an entire page with my rambles.

First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork

[Elishavet Elroi]

@freedomwriter76

Ah! Fantasy.

First off, those characters and story sound fascinating.

(Is Josephine’s hair really like it is in the picture? Because if so… It’s beautiful!! So thick and wavy and warm copper-brown. And although it could be longer, it’s a good length.) [I’ve totally never made a character starting from her hair. Never. 😉 ]

And the bondage vs. true freedom is just about one of my favorite themes/elements. (I have a whole book dedicated to it, don’t I?)

Then there’s the fact that there’s no magic. I completely agree with you there. While I love Narnia, enjoyed Wingfeather, and even read Lord of the Rings, (emphasized because that’s where I draw the line.) I don’t care to use it. Why? Because in the only way I’d use it, it’s not really the right word. I want a better word.

As a minister said once concerning the miracles of God, it’s not magic, and to call it that is to bar God from moving.

And making this post ridiculously long,  THEY’RE TWINS?

I have never written with twins, but come to think of it, I should.

You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

[whaley]

@freedomwriter76

Cool, I 100% support ReSuRrEcTiNg past projects. I’m sorta doing that with one of my older stories… key word being ‘sorta’ XD Nice that you’re dropping magic. Honestly, it seems like a lot of books these days rely on the magic systems to catch the reader, not the characters.

@koshka

So you’re a twin? (I’ve got boy twin charries, so I perked up my ears at that :P)

“Everything is a mountain”

[Koshka]

@whalekeeper

Yep, I’m doubled. =) If you ever have any questions, I can try to answer. (Within reason, of course)

First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork

[Queen_of_Alvastia]

@freedomwriter76

WELCOME TO MY FAVORITE GENRE EVER!!!!!

*sorry*

AND TWINS!!!!

(I love stories with twins but I have a twin sister so yes, I am slightly biased XD)

I think your plot sounds so cool! Alden!!! Aaah! I already know he’s going to be my favorite!!! XD

Are you planning to have any interactions between Jared and Alden? (After Alden comes to The Light?)

🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰

[Anonymous]

@koshka. I’ll be sure to reach out! 😉

@elishavet-pidyon. Thank You! 😀

(YEP! That’s her hair! 😉 It IS beautiful!)

Yes, it’s a beautiful theme! 😉 (ah yes, you do! XD)

Amen, Sister. Ooh, and what that minister said; So True! I’ll be sure to keep that in mind!

THEY SURE ARE! Zayn and Wayne are twin brothers! Wayne is the bit older one, Zayn’s the younger one. Wayne is more reserved and has quite a bit of an attitude. Zayn is…well…Zayn, the exact opposite. XD

They’re my first twins, so it’ll be interesting to see where this goes. 😉

@whalekeeper. Thank You! Yes, I scrapped this story, but yesterday it just…came back. And I was like: “Well, let’s DO IT!” XD It does seem like that! It gets annoying, honestly. *sigh* But that’s why I’m not using it. (well, one of the reasons. XD)

@queen_of_alvastia. THANK YOU!!!!

YEP! Zayn and Wayne are epic. Y’all will love them. 😉 I already do. XD (ah, yes, just slight bias. XD)

Thank you! YES!!!! ALDEN!!!! He will be soooo EPIC! XD

I SURE AM!!! (by the time of the book, Alden is already Free from Acheron. But he will, at some point, talk about his past and he WILL talk to Jared, which will be EPIC!)

[Anonymous]

@godlyfantasy12. @queen_of_alvastia. @koshka. @elishavet-pidyon. @whalekeeper. The first two chapters are done! 😀

Chapter 1

Swords clanged against each other.

He dodged, he swiped, he stabbed.

Sweat perspired from his forehead.

His arms were beginning to ache.

But he wouldn’t stop.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

Michael sheathed his sword. Stuck out his hand to the grinning knight. “Good fight.”

He smirked and shook Michael’s offered hand. “Hey Wayne! You owe me that drink!”

The black-haired, burly knight standing at the side observing, scoffed. “The prince does have skills, Zayn. We can’t doubt that.”

“And because of that, you owe me a drink, brother.”

Michael smiled faintly. The two twin brothers couldn’t be any more different.

Wayne, with dark hair and dark brown eyes.

Zayn, with white hair and bright green eyes.

Wayne was always frowning, scowling, scoffing, or arguing.

And Zayn…was…well…Zayn.

“Michael, a moment.” The gray-haired man who had stopped the practice duel motioned for Michael.

Michael gave Zayn and Wayne a wave, to which they returned with a wave and bow, respectfully. Wayne always had to be formal.

Zayn didn’t care.

“You still owe me that drink…”

Wayne nudged his brother in the side.

“Yes, Wilhelm?” Michael asked, remembering to respect his tutor and mentor.

Wilhelm looked him up and down.

If he was trying to make the prince feel nervous, he was doing it well. Michael began to shift from foot to foot.

Brushed a strand of his bright blonde hair out of his eyes.

Slowly, a smile spread across Wilhelm’s face. “Wonderful job, Michael.”

Michael would’ve sighed a sigh of relief, but instead, he smiled. “Thank you, sir.”

Wilhelm nodded. “Yes, your fighting and riding skills are exemplary. However, your father would like you to take more interest in the other kingly duties. First off, finding yourself a queen.”

“This again? Wilhelm…you know how all the noblewomen are.”

Snooty.

Rude.

And self-centered.

“I understand you don’t like many of the women you meet, but Michael, your father is very ill. King Darvian won’t be able to rule for much longer.”

Michael let out a long, low sigh.

He loved his father.

And he prayed to The Light for his recovery.

“Alright, Wilhelm,” Michael forced a smile, “I’ll be more willing to find myself a wife.”

Wilhelm smiled. Patted his shoulder. “Good. Your father will be thankful and proud of you for it. Now come along, I’m sure there’s a meal waiting for a certain famished Prince.”

~*~

She stepped out of the small rowboat. It rocked, even threatened to tip over.

Josephine laughed as her older brother, Lyle, almost slipped into the water and struggled to catch the dock before he fell in.

He gave her a smirk. “What, were you hoping I’d fall in?”

She laughed. “Not exactly. But it would have been funny.”

Lyle crossed his eyes at her.

Josephine stuck her tongue out at him.

“How unladylike,” her brother mused.

Josephine scoffed. “Like it matters. You know I’ll probably end up marrying another merchant like Father or a farmer like Grandfather.”

Lyle shrugged.

Tossed the net of fish over his shoulder. “I guess so. But Mother always says… ‘be ladylike, Josephine, you’re just as bad as your brother’s.’”

Josephine laughed at her brother’s horrid attempt to copy their mother’s voice when she nagged.

Josephine loved her mother. But at the same time…she was tired of being reminded to find a man.

‘You don’t want to end up unmarried and a beggar like Aunt Lorea, do you?’

Josephine took in a deep breath.

At least she had the ocean to get lost in.

Lyle often took her out onto the sea, even though she didn’t do much except help pull in the nets.

In the ocean, she felt…calm.

At peace.

It was the one place she could go to that was quiet.

It gave her time to spend time with The Light. Of course, you didn’t need quiet to spend time with The Light, nor a special place, despite what many said.

Grandmother had taught Josephine that The Light was everywhere. Not just a special place. Josephine could come to The Light anywhere, anytime.

Josephine smiled. The Light was her peace. Her hope.

She only wished more knew about The Light.

Some claimed they knew The Light, prayed to him, even, but didn’t think you could spend time with The Light unless you were in the special building close to the castle where many gathered the last day of the week.

Josephine bit her lip. They needed to know that it wasn’t true.

“Josephine, are you coming?”

She looked ahead at Lyle. She was far behind. “Coming!”

Josephine picked up her skirts, ran after him, her copper-red braid bouncing on her back, and prayed to The Light with every step.

Chapter 2

Cold cobblestone floors.

Water that dripped from the ceiling.

The scrub brush scrapped against the floor.

Again.

And again.

On his knees on the floor, Jared scrubbed the floor.

The floor needed to be spotless. If it wasn’t…well…Jared shook his head.

He didn’t need to think about that.

The crisscrossing scars on his back were evidence enough.

Footsteps sounded.

“Master has called for you, Jared Vlenditty. You better get to him as fast as possible.” Lovik, Master Acheron’s right-hand man and aide, ordered. “Leave the floor for a few moments. How far along are you on the floor?”

Jared glanced around.

His heart suddenly beat faster.

Less than a fourth of the floor was finished.

Lovik wrinkled his nose. Scowled. “Master Acheron will be told of the neglectfulness of your duties.”

Jared slowly rose to his feet. Brushed away a strand of his reddish-brown hair.

His fingers accidentally grazed the lock.

The collar around his neck.

Jared pulled his hand away.

‘To remind you who you belong to.’

This is where he belonged.

No one.

Nothing.

Could bring him anywhere else.

Nor would Jared even dare to leave.

Lovik’s openhanded blow to his cheek came without warning.

Jared remained standing.

Falling meant weakness.

Failure.

And both of those meant more scars to decorate his back.

“Move it already!” Lovik snarled.

Jared moved to obey.

He straitened his clothing.

Freshly cleaned.

If it hadn’t been…well…more scars.

Jared kept his hand on his sword hilt.

He’s been attacked in this hall many times before.

Mostly knights.

Other times…other slaves.

Like him.

If he fought back a knight, however…did he need to think more?

Jared remembered his way down the halls and corridors.

Only a few lights in each room were allowed.

Otherwise, the castle was completely dark.

And none of the furniture…furnishings…were any color other than black.

Jared stopped in the doorway of the throne room.

Seated in the throne, a golden staff in hand, was Master Acheron.

He motioned Jared inside.

“Ah, Jared, you came.”

Jared fell onto one knee in front of Master Acheron’s throne.

Didn’t dare lift his gaze.

Of course, he came.

He wasn’t stupid.

Not all the time, at least, his past reminded. Other times, well…there’s good reasons you earned those scars.

“I have another duty for you to complete, my servant. Not yet. But in a few days.” Acheron’s staff touched the top of his head. “Stand and face me, Jared.”

Jared did, his orange eyes meeting Acheron’s coal.

Acheron smiled. “You will get the details soon, my servant. And you will carry it out and you will carry it out successfully, understood?”

Jared nodded.

Acheron clapped his hands. “Good. It is settled then.” His eyes narrowed, “Jared, let me fix your iron collar.”

Jared stepped up. Leaned forward.

Stood entirely still as Acheron fixed Jared’s collar to his liking. “There. Perfect.”

Jared stepped back, going back to where he had been standing.

Footsteps sounded.

“Good, Lovik, you’re here. Jared, continue with cleaning the floors of the dining hall, will you?”

Lovik, smiling, stepped forward. “About that, Master…”

~*~

The sound of crinkled paper sounded as the letter opened.

“Alden, would you read this letter for me?”

“Of course, sire.” He carefully took the letter from King Darvian, taking his right hand off of his sword hilt.

You could never be too careful.

Darvian had slowly grown blinder each passing day.

By now, he couldn’t see much of anything.

Certainly, he couldn’t read letters or books.

Alden read him the letter slowly.

Darvian leaned back in his bed. Sighed.

When Alden finished the letter, from one of the noblemen, Darvian smiled. “Thank you, Alden.”

“Would you like some supper, Sire?” Alden asked softly, setting aside the read letter.

Darvian nodded. “Yes. Could you get it, Alden?”

Alden paused. As a retainer, he was ordered to stay by Darvian’s side at all times.

Day and Night.

Good thing Alden was a light sleeper.

“Sire, I must remain at your side. Unless, of course, you would actually like to eat at the dining table this evening?”

Darvian shook his head, his cloudy, blue eyes focusing on Alden. “No. If you are not comfortable leaving my side, then call a maid.”

Alden nodded.

Sent a silent prayer up to The Light.

King Darvian used to be a strong, courageous warrior king.

Now he was far from it.

And Alden only prayed that he would recover.

If not…then there would be a coronation before the leaves fell.

[whaley]

@koshka Cool, and thank you 😊

@freedomwriter76 Good job!! I love Jared… Poor thing…

“Everything is a mountain”

[Anonymous]

@whalekeeper. Aww, thanks! 😀

Ohh, me too. <3 He’s so sweet once you get to know him, just…hurt. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. *sobs*

[Author]

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