Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Writers' Corner #14
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March 21, 2018 at 10:44 pm #68087
Cool, thanks!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ba3B6gyqXXeLlb6jUoelruJdcplBf257LraPxjoJzFw/edit?usp=sharing
It should be on anyone can edit, but if you can’t, just let me know!
Yeah, it is pretty obvious and most people would guess it quickly. Accidentally killing sounds like the best way to go….but how does one accidentally kill someone else? All I can think of is that bit in the Bible where it talks about where to go if your axe head flies off and kills your neighbour by accident.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 21, 2018 at 11:16 pm #68094@seekjustice Ooh!ย I’ve read this story before!ย Several months ago when I was still wandering around the forums without actually joining…(I think they call it stalking? ๐ )
It’s actually not on edit, but I just requested edit access, so you might consider allowing me. ๐
Well, the first thing I thought of was car accidents.ย Those often end with people killed, but there’s something called “no-fault” insurance, so they don’t always decide someone’s guilty, but just that the accident was impossible to avoid.ย I don’t think I’ll use a car accident, but I’ll try to think of another accidental death.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 21, 2018 at 11:47 pm #68100Hopefully that works! I’m just back from my lunchbreak and at the editing again!
Yeah….it’s hard isn’t it? How many ways can people accidentally die?
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 21, 2018 at 11:51 pm #68102@seekjustice Yes, it works.ย But the story’s so perfect I don’t want to cut it down at all!ย I’m afraid to get to the end, because I remember it and know I’m going to cry.
…falling off cliffs, for one? ๐ย Want to play a game?ย With each post we have to think of a new way someone can die accidentally.ย The person who can’t think of another one loses.
And maybe by the end I’ll have an idea for my story!
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 21, 2018 at 11:56 pm #68104Wow, you have been stalking the forums for a while. It was ages ago I last posted this story. I strike again! I love making people cry ๐
Okay! Hitting their head, falling into a river and drowning.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 12:04 am #68106@seekjustice This time I’m not going to wake my sisters up with my laughter, but with my sniffing. ๐ I just finished the quick reread so now I’ll go back through and try to find ways to shorten portions of it.ย I don’t know that I’ll be able to, though.
In the heat of the summer a wild forest fire breaks out and a camper is caught inside it.
Oh no.ย That just reminded me of a story I read so many years ago about a father letting his son ride the single horse to safety and going back into the fire promising to meet the son “on the other side.”ย Now I am crying again.ย Tears are literally falling, if you want to know whether I’m serious.
(I cry very easily.)ย (But that story is soย sad.)
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 22, 2018 at 12:10 am #68108Thanks! I’ve found a few places to shorten, mostly just phrases here and there, but hopefully if there’s enough it’ll cut it down a bit.
Banjo Patterson, who was an Aussie poet, wrote a poem once about a father who gets caught in a flood with his baby son. They only have one horse who will swim through the water, so the father ties his son onto the horse and sends it home. I can’t remember what happens to the dad, but my mum always cries when I read that poem.
On the subject of horses….kicked by a horse. Lots of people die/are badly injured that way.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 12:14 am #68109@seekjustice Oh, I will have to read that poem…but sometime when I get my strength back.ย Three strikes in one night might knock me out. ๐
An earthquake opens up a crack in the ground and someone falls in.
Boy, am I going to have nightmares tonight! ๐
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 22, 2018 at 12:18 am #68110Banjo Patterson is a very good poet, usually his stuff is much less serious though. He tends to be more comical.
Uh…that’s unfortunate.
Improper protection when unloading a ship/truck/train. Getting whacked by something or having it fall on you.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 12:24 am #68111@seekjustice I adore comical poems! *writes down “Banjo Patterson, poet” in random Word document*
Having things fall on you made me think first of “Ding dong!ย The Witch is dead!” ๐ย but I think having a house fall on you would be so rare as to not count for this discussion.
Therefore I will put forth as my accident: Wild animal stampede.
(Disclaimer: I’ve never actually seen theย Wizard of Oz. ๐ )
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 22, 2018 at 12:29 am #68112He has some very funny ones. Mulga Bill’s Bicycle is about a fellow attempting to ride a bicycle and ending up in the creek. The Geebung Polo Club is about a bush polo club and posh polo club in a tournament. He’s best known for The Man From Snowy River, though, which is a really awesome piece of Australian literature.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve never seen The Wizard of Oz either.
Stepping on a snake and getting bitten.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 12:30 am #68113My computer is about to run out of battery and I have some schoolwork to do, but I should be back in an hour or so. If you want to go to bed though, by all means do.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 12:34 am #68114@seekjustice Enjoy the schoolwork!ย I may go to bed, or I may still be up.ย Tag me when you come back, and if I’m awake I’ll answer. ๐
Lose oars and run over waterfall.
See you later…tonight or tomorrow!
Oh, and I’m commenting on your story, but if you do cut out the words I’m suggesting please keep the original draft, because I’m afraid that’s going to be better. ๐
(You did say you wanted the word count, cut down, right?)
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Rochellaine.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
March 22, 2018 at 1:50 am #68120Hey, I’m back!
Thanks! And yes, I always keep the original drafts. ๐
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
March 22, 2018 at 2:08 am #68121@seekjustice I’m back now too! ๐ย I skipped out for a while to get ready for bed…and to get another “wee hours of the morning” snack.
Oh, good.ย Yeah, I have a first draft of my novel with a whole long scene where an antagonist and someone he’s mad at quoteย The Princess Bride at each other, which I put in as a joke and always planned to take out before finishing. ๐
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
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