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“Pass the piece of sacred cardboard.” -me
Random out of context sibling quotes:
“Maybe I’m mixing up the fish game with the chicken spatula.”
“The guts are the best part!”
”I don’t taste like apples, right?”
“When I turn four, I’m growing a beard.” (This was a sister.)
“You aren’t signed up for booping!”
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
That’s not a house, it’s termites holding hands.
~Larry Epic
Nod: “Hurry! Jump!”
Mary-Kathrine: “I can’t jump that high!”
Mary-Kathrine: *Sees enemy coming, screams and jumps into the air, lands back in front of the enemy* “Did you see what I just did! I have never jumped that high!
Nod, “Jump OUT!!!!”
~Epic.
Mandrake “I’m going to destroy the forest! But I’m only going to do it once, so try to pay attention.”
~Epic
Spy: *chuckles* “Real smooth. You got rid of the queen, but let her heir get away. *starts laughing* Plus your idiot general gets himself mulched.
Mandrake “That idiot General WAS MY SON!”
Spy: “Uh, of course he was. He had your good looks. . . and your healthy grey complexion. . . and forgiving nature. . .”
~Epic
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@theducktator haha that’s too funny.
also, it took me forever to get back to this but I’ll give you context for the “tumors” scene because it’s funny:
(warning: mostly unedited, also slight trigger warning of a minor gross thing)
The rest of the team was bustling around the garage. I didn’t see Sniper anywhere, but I did see Engineer and Medic debating near a table with a teleporter on it. Demo used another telepad to go somewhere, while Heavy, having left the van sometime before, searched for a sandwich in the fridge.
“Hey, look at all this. What’ve you two eggheads been workin’ on?” Scout asked as he surveyed the table. He tossed the keys to the van at Engineer and Medic, but neither cared to catch them.
“Nice catch.” my brother muttered sarcastically.
Engineer stepped forward, his catlike ears flicking.* “Yeah…Listen now. We’ve been running some experiments on the teleporter.” He gestured to it on the table. I moved to get a closer look at it, as did Soldier. Heavy had found his lunch and stayed to watch from near the fridge. “And, well, y’all oughta take a look at this.” He flipped on the teleporter, and a loaf of bread appeared. Soldier’s face lit up like it was the greatest thing ever.
Scout, however, was unimpressed. “Wow. you can teleport bread. Big news. Um…When’s Demo gonna be back? I heard he was bringing food…?”
Medic grabbed the bread and ripped it open before Scout could lose any more interest. I looked closely at it and immediately wished I hadn’t.
Some sort of green, pulsing thing was growing in it. Several of them, actually, as well as a bunch of tooth-like spikes. I felt a little sick just looking at it.
My twin saw it, too. “Yaahhh! What the heck is that?!” he shrieked, jumping into an unnecessary defensive pose.
“Tumors!” Medic explained, a little too excitedly.
Over by the refrigerator, Heavy eyed his sandwich worriedly, as if something might sprout from that bread.
*Each of the characters here is a different creature. Scout and Huntress, the narrator, are the only humans (they’re siblings). All the others are effectively human but with some animal characteristics (a tail, wings, some fur, etc.) I have drawings of most of them done, and when I’m done with all of them I’ll post them, because they’re really cool.
For more context, the bread grows strange growths when sent through a teleporter, and they all assume that means the teleporters, which they use a lot, are slowly killing them in the same way. It isn’t, but they don’t know that, and a solid portion of the next chapter or two is all of them trying to finish up all the things they never got to do before they die. But then that leads to a problem when one of them, in fulfilling his wish, accidentally sets off something that will actually kill them if they don’t stop it.
also I didn’t come up with the idea, it was part of a script from a canned TV show I came across, and I added it to a fanfic.
@ellette-giselle ooh Epic! That was a good movie.Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Love the quotes XD
Lol those are great
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
@theshadow lol ha
I just realized you’re the only one I’ve met so far that would actually get the reason behind most of those.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Yeah I can kind of guess some of the context XD
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
@theducktator thanks
@theshadow now I kinda want to know what you think the context for each one isyou can just do the ten mercs if you’d like (the canon nine and then Huntress)
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
My twin saw it, too. “Yaahhh! What the heck is that?!” he shrieked, jumping into an unnecessary defensive pose.
“Tumors!” Medic explained, a little too excitedly.
Over by the refrigerator, Heavy eyed his sandwich worriedly, as if something might sprout from that bread.
can’t… Breathe! Lol!
That was just great.
“Gargoyles and thickets, griffins and briskets."
@rae thank you, but since I pulled it from an existing script that I merely modified slightly, I really can’t take the credit for it.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Maybe I should just start posting chapters of the story on KP. It seems like most of you would enjoy it.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@theducktator thank you! I can’t really take credit for most of it, but I suppose I wrote it down in its current form so I have that going for me. lol
oop I see I already thanked you. sorry. XD
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
You’re welcome!
oop I see I already thanked you. sorry. XD
Lol.
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
Sister: “What’s a cheese monger?”
Me: “It’s like a haberdasher, but with cheese instead of hats.”
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
Okay, I’ll try my best!
Huntress – not 100% sure with this one, but my best guess is trying to kill a target that someone else failed to
Scout – being his own cocky self while fighting someone (and of course trying to show off XD)
Engineer – his team may have just come from a defeat, and he would probably be disappointed if his guns or machines didn’t get them to win after learning why they failed
Soldier – yelling at something like one of his “soldiers”, or being delusional
Sniper – talking to one one of his targets that he has been assigned to before trying to kill him
Spy – someone has broken into Spy’s room trying to uncover evidence, or something of the sort, and Spy has discovered them (this one was the hardest for some reason lol)
Demoman – having the time of his life blowing stuff up, perhaps, and then interrupted by something
Heavy – Doctor using his medical gun (or whatever it’s called) to make Heavy bullet proof or heal him
I think that was it, right? Sorry if I got all of these totally wrong. From these quotes, your story sounds really fun!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
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