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Quotes of the day.
Dad: “We have to leave. Like, in two seconds.”
Me, two seconds later: “Oh gosh darn, I missed it.”
Dad: “What?”
Me: “Leaving.”
…
Sister: “I’ll carry the unholy bag!”
…
Pastor: “They say the construction is on schedule.” *Rolls eyes* “Live by faith, not by sight.”
…
Dad: “Can a sheep hold a sword?”
Me: “Uh…”
…
Friend: “Your face is an incomplete sentence!”
…
An older church member in the nursing home: “Oh, this blanket? The nurse got it for me; nicked it off another body.”
The exhaustion is strong with this one
My brother trying to insult me: Have you ever noticed that your forehead looks like a fivehead?
Bestest Teddy Bear
#AnduthForever (❤️)My sister: “You’re an iota! An insignificant dot!”
MARCIE! YOU MADE EGG SOUP!
@theducktator lol
Bestest Teddy Bear
#AnduthForever (❤️)“Whatever sheet thing the Greeks wore” -me
You're extra special <3
#AnduthForever (💕)My sister, introducing me: So this is my sister
Me: Hi, what’s your name? I’m My Sister.
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
thats nice. here is one:
“If you are vertical challenged, you can stand on the bench and place your bag on there like this.” He was talking about short people…
Moral of the story, "always listen to a carrot cake when it screams at you."
here is a greek god!
“I am Embilia, goddess of stupidity. Come to me with your bad decisions, and I will make them more… stupider-ly.”
Moral of the story, "always listen to a carrot cake when it screams at you."
The amount of “vertically challenged” jokes at school in seventh and eighth grade still haunts my soul…
At least I’m taller than my mom
She’s five foot
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
Classmate 1: “Guys! I have the answer!”
Classmate 2: “Crack!”
Text exchange with my mom:
Me: “We are out of bird seed, suet, and grapefruit.”
Mom: “And I am at the eye doctor.”
Me: “I know. If you ask a store associate, I’m sure they can read the labels for you.”
Classmate: “You are a very classical human being.”
MARCIE! YOU MADE EGG SOUP!
Memorable quotes from church camp:
“Ah! Glitter! Burn it with fire!”
“Where the flip did that shirt spawn from?”
“It’s the Rizzy Rogan Hat!”
“But Rogan doesn’t have rizz!”
MARCIE! YOU MADE EGG SOUP!
That’s hilarious. At one retreat a priest tried to convince us that anyone who was baptised had “rizz.”
Basically: Rizz is short for charisma. In Greek, the original language of the New Testament, one of the words used for the gifts of the Holy Spirit was “charism” (I think I’m remembering this right) and that basically means “charisma.” You receive the Holy Spirit upon baptism.
Therefore, Christians all have rizz.
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
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