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Quotes of the day.
Dad: “We have to leave. Like, in two seconds.”
Me, two seconds later: “Oh gosh darn, I missed it.”
Dad: “What?”
Me: “Leaving.”
…
Sister: “I’ll carry the unholy bag!”
…
Pastor: “They say the construction is on schedule.” *Rolls eyes* “Live by faith, not by sight.”
…
Dad: “Can a sheep hold a sword?”
Me: “Uh…”
…
Friend: “Your face is an incomplete sentence!”
…
An older church member in the nursing home: “Oh, this blanket? The nurse got it for me; nicked it off another body.”
Official KP Archivist's Official Assistant 💅
My brother trying to insult me: Have you ever noticed that your forehead looks like a fivehead?
I have sagely sageness everyone!
#AnduthForever (Lord Willing)My sister: “You’re an iota! An insignificant dot!”
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
@theducktator lol
I have sagely sageness everyone!
#AnduthForever (Lord Willing)“Whatever sheet thing the Greeks wore” -me
Every time you smile, a flower blooms somewhere in the world.
#AnduthForever (hopefully💕)XD
Every time you smile, a flower blooms somewhere in the world.
#AnduthForever (hopefully💕)My sister, introducing me: So this is my sister
Me: Hi, what’s your name? I’m My Sister.
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
thats nice. here is one:
“If you are vertical challenged, you can stand on the bench and place your bag on there like this.” He was talking about short people…
"We love the sinner, but hate the sin."-The other mother (Coraline)
here is a greek god!
“I am Embilia, goddess of stupidity. Come to me with your bad decisions, and I will make them more… stupider-ly.”
"We love the sinner, but hate the sin."-The other mother (Coraline)
The amount of “vertically challenged” jokes at school in seventh and eighth grade still haunts my soul…
At least I’m taller than my mom
She’s five foot
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
Classmate 1: “Guys! I have the answer!”
Classmate 2: “Crack!”
Text exchange with my mom:
Me: “We are out of bird seed, suet, and grapefruit.”
Mom: “And I am at the eye doctor.”
Me: “I know. If you ask a store associate, I’m sure they can read the labels for you.”
Classmate: “You are a very classical human being.”
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
Memorable quotes from church camp:
“Ah! Glitter! Burn it with fire!”
“Where the flip did that shirt spawn from?”
“It’s the Rizzy Rogan Hat!”
“But Rogan doesn’t have rizz!”
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
That’s hilarious. At one retreat a priest tried to convince us that anyone who was baptised had “rizz.”
Basically: Rizz is short for charisma. In Greek, the original language of the New Testament, one of the words used for the gifts of the Holy Spirit was “charism” (I think I’m remembering this right) and that basically means “charisma.” You receive the Holy Spirit upon baptism.
Therefore, Christians all have rizz.
Pray, thou shalt simply add ketchup unto the mac'n'cheese.
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