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Alan, must you do something stupid????😩 This is so not going to end well.
No. But don’t we all do stupid things anyway?
Have you tried using Inkarnet?
I really enjoy using them for my maps after I do the initial sketches.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Yes, I had pro for a year. I like it, but I would prefer to hand draw my own map (especially if it will appear in my book.)
I have considered drawing my own trees, mountains, etc, uploading the drawings in Inkarnet, then using the tools there to make my own map, put I never got around to it.
Ooo, that would be a cool idea.
I had the pro version for a little while as well, but I think both work fine.
I like the look of hand-drawn ones the best, but the ones on there are easier to make and have on hand as I’m writing.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle @stephie @theducktator
(Not sure if Keilah has read everything yet, so I won’t tag her.)
Question. Since Alan is using magic again, he is going to get some more wizard scars. I’m trying to decide what to go with, and I have a couple of options I think would be interesting. Here they are:
- Hand: His right hand will become like a bird’s talon (like Peet the Sockman’s hands in the Wingfeather saga). He would lose some of the flexibility in his arm and no longer be able to rotate his hand upside down. Alan is left-handed, so this would not be as big of a deal as if it was that hand, but he would still find this limiting. I feel like this would be more personal to Alan.
- Foot: This one is more creepy. The front part of Alan’s right foot would become like that of a crow’s, however his heel would remain unchanged. This would mean he would have to walk in a strange way. It would be like walking normally on one foot and on tippy-toes with the other. Except that other foot is larger and has a taloned toe jutting out the back. This consequence might be less personal, but would separate him from humans more.
I should go with for Alan and why?
Note: This does not mean that Alan will use this amount of spells, it is just if he was to use a large enough amount, this is what the consequence would be. The magic he uses will alter his body towards one of these.
Also, another thing. I have now felt the pain I put you all through with the last chapter. I am watching a show with my siblings and we just finished the second season. There is one character who has slowly been moving towards a redemption arc through the season. We watched the season finally yesterday. In the episode, it seemed like this character was going to put his past behind him, change his ways, and finally help the protagonist. However, the very first chance he had to go back to his old ways he took, believing he had to. My reaction:
Why?!? Just why?!?
(Though it was very well done. When he shows up to the final fight, he attacks in a way that there is a tense moment when you don’t know who’s side he has taken. And there’s still hope for him as he showed some regret after the fight and there is still one more season for him to be redeemed. I’m looking forward to seeing where his character goes.)
But yes, I now know what I put you through. I must say, it’s a lot more fun when you are the author.
Oh why! Must it be a hand or foot? And why talons! Can’t you just restrict the movement! This is horrible. If he and Martha do get married, how is he supposed to hug her without slicing her back?!?!?
Think Linus!!!!
And partly crippling him really does not work, because think of the binds he’ll be in when trying to run or fight.
Dreadful person.
Who said I did bad things to my characters?!? Alan needs to be put on the protection squad ASAP.
*sigh*
if it were one of the other I say the hand. Two reasons. One, it’s going to make it so that he can still run and fight. I think you’re going to become very frustrated with yourself if your character can’t walk properly in the future. (I partially crippled a character for only half a book and nearly drove myself insane. It’s aggravating the amount of things he is unable to do)
2. (probably my strongest point) Alan has feathers going down his arm already. It makes sense that this would keep going and eventually distort his hand. *shudders*
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Must it be a hand or foot?
You got a better idea? Maybe he could have a scar around hie eye and match with the dude I posted a picture of in my previous post. He’s already got similar hair.
Who said I did bad things to my characters?!?
Hmmmm….
if it were one of the other I say the hand. Two reasons. One, it’s going to make it so that he can still run and fight. I think you’re going to become very frustrated with yourself if your character can’t walk properly in the future. (I partially crippled a character for only half a book and nearly drove myself insane. It’s aggravating the amount of things he is unable to do)
(probably my strongest point) Alan has feathers going down his arm already. It makes sense that this would keep going and eventually distort his hand. *shudders*
Okay, thank you for your thoughts.
Yeah, you could scar his face, or you could have some sort of wicked lightning scar that goes up his back and twists around one or both of his shoulders. Maybe the pain from those scars flares up now and then. *shrug* Plus, that could be a pretty terrible scene when Alan is getting the scars. There’s a tone of potential in it.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
or you could have some sort of wicked lightning scar that goes up his back and twists around one or both of his shoulders.
That’s not quite how wizard scars work. I’m still figuring things out, but whenever someone uses magic, his body is attacked. The crystal he is connected to ‘heals’ him, drawing information form both the wizard’s body and the DNA contained in the crystal’s feather. When a wizard Shatter, the wounds that result from that are too much for the crystal to handle (especially since it is literally shattering as the last of its power is used up). So only Shattered wizards have permanent lightning-shaped scars. It’s the primary way to tell Shattered wizards apart from those still connected to crystals.
loRe!
I think I’m going to go with the hand. If fully developed, it will be hard to hide and it will be a consequence he can’t ignore.
Remember, it might not go the full way either. Alan may only use enough spells to make some small changes to it, so it may or may not be that big of a deal.
@linus-smallprint Hmm, this was interesting.
How do Alan’s friends feel about this?
Does he realize how guilty he’ll be when he wakes up? I mean, he just dedicated his life to God and swore off magic a few chapters ago.
I’m not sure how I feel about the spells being as descriptive as they are. I had no problem with it, personally, although it was strange. But I can think of people who would be angry at you for describing how to do magic in a Christian book, even if the magic is completely fake, altered from its original, and is nothing like the sorcery of our world. (Not anyone I know on KP mind you, but just people in general.)
My issue was less with that however, and more with the fact that the scenes of him imagining the spells are kind of unnecessary and don’t really add much to the story, in my opinion.
Oh, and yeah, I’d go with losing the hand. It’s a lot less crippling than the leg idea and also maybe a little less grotesque if you ever decide to draw it.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Oh why! Must it be a hand or foot? And why talons! Can’t you just restrict the movement! This is horrible. If he and Martha do get married, how is he supposed to hug her without slicing her back?!?!?
*feels slightly offended for the 90% of my characters that have talons*
I’M KIDDING I’M KIDDING
I mean, I have a character with talons who’s married to one without and they’re perfectly fine hugging each other, so I think it’s just something you’d get used to. I don’t know.
also yeah saying an author doesn’t do bad things to their characters is like saying the sun is a ball of ice lol
@linus-smallprint ok but a scar around his eye would be super cool too."When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
And I’m gonna be the person Keilah referred to……..
The spells. Why do we need to know the images? I mean, spell casting is directly linked to demonic powers. Casting spells is a real thing, (the Bible talks about it) and it’s always linked to demons. It’s not something to be taken lightly or played with. I don’t think you’re doing either, but I do feel like what you had in that chapter was unnecessary. You would have been making up the images Alan saw when he cast the spells, so why make up new images to replace the other made up images? I could see that you might be trying to do something later with the whole imagery thing, but I honestly would encourage you to sacrifice whatever idea you might have had and drop the images. I– for one– felt quite uncomfortable reading about them and after the first one I’d skip a few paragraphs any time he was about to use a new spell just in case you described the image again. You can say he was told to imagine an image, you can also explain to your reader that not only would it be cruel to make Alan try to remember them, but that you are just not going to tell us what they are. You can mention that the image he imagines comes alive and he’s transported to the place. You can say he had to imagine it in different ways. But, I really don’t want to read about the images.
Does that make sense?
I sincerely hope none of this offended you. If it came across as harsh or mean, that is not my intent. This is (as you can probably guess) something I feel strongly about.
As for the chapter itself. There was the part where Alan casts all those spells on himself and the stag. However, we were told that all memory of spells was erased from his mind. Plus, spells for killing bugs wouldn’t involve night vision, speed, strength, taming, etc. So, he would have had to look them up in the book, which was fine. It just seems like the first time he ever opened the book was at the gate.
The fight was pretty cool. I would have loved to see that whole scene of storming the jail in a movie. I could picture it really well, which is good. I was also afraid Alan might end up getting to like the feel of magic…………. i think he’s starting too.
I can’t say I didn’t see it coming with Tyn and Oliver. But…… it was one of those, “I can see this might happen, I really hope it doesn’t, so because I hope hard enough it wont.” (lolololol) Type moments. So yeah, basically it didn’t brake any rules of the story or characters to have them do that, so good job.
Well, that’s my thoughts. Take them or leave them.
Good chapter. I’m excited to see what happens next!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
I for one thought the spell images were well done… I think they gave a glimpse into how wonderful spell-casting feels like for a wizard. You get this sense of attempting majesty, if that makes sense, and I think that aligns with Alan’s character. Also the fact that all the images had something to do with animals was really thoughtful of you. Spellcasting in general feels like it’s projecting this animal-based ideal with the magic, to the point where it changes Alan’s view of the world, which ultimately is the most important step to making itself powerful.
Sure, you could take the images away. But I think they serve a purpose. 1. They paint a clear connection between magic and animals, making them a power source to control, and 2. They show how exhilarating the magic is for Alan.
Also while reading the scene, having it switch between action and a moment where Alan is swept up into an image was very unique to imagine and I personally liked that too.
Just to clarify… yeah, magic is bad, I know, I’m saying as a story device the images are pretty useful. And while they might cause some people to feel a little uncomfortable, you have very clearly told us magic is wrong. The whole book has been describing magic as a problem. And I think the images paint a good picture of why the problem can spread so quickly.
Anyway, I don’t want to fight anyone who thinks otherwise… I just thought you’ve been very considerate with your themes so far, and I don’t think this is any different. *Shields my face* Please don’t hit me, guys. XD
#ProtectAdolinKholin
I’m trying to think of a good way to put this… Say you’re writing a YA book about how loose relationships (no marriage, easily separated, “it depends on how I feel about you from week to week”) hurts people. Well, you’re going to have to depict a bad relationship in order to talk about it. You just have to. There will always be somebody who feels offended because you depicted the thing. It does not fall on you to make the reading easier for them, the only thing you are responsible for is what you have to say about the thing.
#ProtectAdolinKholin
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